Today's featured song from Toni LaShaun Music is, "Dear God Just Be You." This song was inspired by the post below from last year. I have not recorded it yet, but just meditate on the words... Dear God, Just Be You...11/29/2012 Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had a problem, but you knew the solution was unlikely to happen? I have. In fact, I struggled with something just this week that fit into that category. I say all the time that God wants to hear all of our problems, big or small. Even if others might not think it an issue, if you are His and it is an issue to you, it is an issue to Him. So, I started praying about this problem. Stop being nosey; I am not going to say what the problem was (I keep SOME things to myself...LOL). I knew what a great solution to the problem would be. I knew it was highly unlikely to get the outcome I envisioned, but God is able to do the impossible. So, I kept praying...the same prayer...over and over and over again. "Lord, let this happen so that my problem can go away. And, please let it happen soon." Days went by and I thought my head would explode because the problem persisted and I was pretty sure that God was saying "no" to my request for assistance. Then, in the middle of praying the same prayer, "Lord, I just need You...," I paused. And, then I thought about it. That was the perfect place to stop. Instead of telling God how to fix my problem, I just needed to say, "Lord, I need You!" After praying that prayer, I started to feel some relief from the situation, but it still lingered. I knew that God was on it, so I added to the prayer, "Dear God, just be You for me." I thought I knew the solution to the problem; an improbable solution, but one that would change the circumstances surrounding me. God is showing me that my circumstances don't need to change. I just need to trust Him to change me and how I view the circumstance and how I view what He is capable of doing. He knows everything. And, He knows everything we need. So, I continue to pray and I invite you to pray, "Lord, I just need You. Dear God, just be You." Ms. EV Dear God Just Be You Copyright © 2012 Toni Wortherly Lord, I need You Dear God, just be You ‘Cause I don’t know what to do But I know You have it all in control Lord, I need You Dear God, just be You Even when the storm is raging You can still bring such peace to my soul You are the only One Who knows just what I need So, dear God, just be You for me
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Yolanda Adams has a song called, “It’s Gon’ Be Nice,” and I love the message of the song. It is a song to encourage everyone that, though, things might seem crazy, when God gets through with the situation, it will be VERY nice. Enduring hard times is one of the hardest things to do in life. As I write, I am thinking, “How do you tell someone who is going through the worst of circumstances, to ‘hang in there,’ when they feel like their world is crashing in on them.”
I know that I am prone to panic. So, it doesn’t even have to be a dire situation for me to freak right on out, although, I am getting better about that as I continue to grow. But, I feel that, for some of us, it’s hard to think past the present. It is difficult to picture that everything will work out. That is why we need to commune with God. That is why we need to read the Bible. We need to seek God’s Kingdom and His face because, when we can’t look past our own present, we can look in the past and see what the Lord has done. Maybe we cannot think of something that He has done for us (though there is plenty) because we are to frustrated, flustered, or furious to recall the moments when He pulled us through our problems. So, we have the Word of God to remind us of His goodness. We have a Spirit that dwells within us to remind us of His grace. So, as Yolanda says in the song: “I don’t have the right to give up I don’t have the right to give in You’re gonna see me through So, I’m gonna put my trust in You!” When we trust Him, God works out situations in ways that we would never ever imagine. I have a sticky note on my mirror that says, “God’s got this!” It is a reminder that no matter what the day may be, it is not anything that my God cannot handle and turn around for my good. We may not be able to see it, but I am a living witness that it’s gon’ be nice! Ms. EV In teaching my students about bureaucracies, I asked them if they liked to work in groups. I went on to tell them that, even though, most colleges and jobs assign you to work with groups, that it is very difficult for me to work with other people. I often joke that my kindergarten report card had all E's (for excellent), but the only comment was, "Does not work well with others." For a long time, I thought it was a character flaw. As I grew older, I realized that I am a perfectionist (read, I have OCD with certain things) and I am an introvert. So, it is very difficult for me to delegate or even ask anyone for help.
Fast forward to my current life, in which, I constantly find myself in situations where I have to work with other people. God knows how to make you grow, even when you are perfectly comfortable with your quirkiness. It is still not easy for me to ask for help, though, so it only happens when I really truly cannot complete something on my own. Besides my slight case of OCD and introvertedness, I also do not like rejection. I am still learning how to deal with it. Recently, I asked a group of friends to help me with a venture. Some responded favorably and have been an amazing amount of help. Others ignored me completely. At first, I was hurt. I was especially hurt by those that I had gone out of my way to help. But then, on Sunday, my pastor preached about God opening and closing doors. I realized that it wsa okay that people did not want to help or support me in my endeavors because God has placed the exact, right people. I realized that it does not mean that these people do not care about me or my success, but that God knows who to use to help me and who would be a distraction. God knows who would be my Peter, and who would be my James and John (please look it up, if you don't know what this means). A couple of days after the sermon, I was watching a tv show and there was a person singing one of my favorite songs, "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt. I just started singing the chorus over and over. It was a reminder. Those who are going to be in my corner are going to be there. Those who are not, I can't make them want to support me. I can't make them love me or my work. God knows the right people to let in my life at the right time. And, I am thankful that he leaves some people on the other side of the closed door. Trust me, you don't want anyone involved in your endeavors that is going to steal God's glory, whether they mean to or not. So, when God starts having people back away from you, be grateful. He knows what He is doing and He knows what is best for you. That being said, I am so thankful for those who, without being begged, poked or prodded, have continued to support and push me, knowing that it is difficult for me to even ask for suport. Praise God for the closed doors, even when people are involved! Ms. EV As I continue to reread what Jesus went through in the days before His crucifixion, I see His “trials” before Pilate and Herod. I graduated from law school nearly ten years ago and I practiced law for a few years. Despite what many people think about attorneys, I do not love litigation. In fact, I made it a mission of mine to not ever be involved in criminal litigation and to avoid civil litigation as much as possible. Why? I do not care for confrontation.
People ask me all the time why I stopped practicing law. The simple answer is that it made me sick. No, it really physically made me ill every time I walked in the courthouse and knew that I would either be standing before a judge or another attorney who would fire off questions at either my client or me. It made me queasy to even think about the level of confrontation that I would face in court and that how I handled the confrontation could change a person’s life forever. This is not to say that I never argue. My siblings and my exes will definitely tell you that I am fully capable of carrying on an argument. My problem is that long after the argument is over, I replay it in my mind. I go over everything I said, everything my opponent said, what I should have said, and what I will say the next time. So, I generally choose to argue over things that are more trivial, like sports or fashion, so that I do not drive myself absolutely batty. I have learned in my life, though, that there is a time to defend and a time for silence. I learned that from Jesus. In two so-called trials, Jesus uttered but a few words. To Pilate, He answered the question, ‘Are You the King of the Jews?’ with the reply, ‘You said that.’ In front of Herod, the Pharisees screamed accusations and Jesus did not say a word. Jesus knew that His purpose was to die for a sin-sick world. He knew that He was facing certain death. Bickering back and forth with the kings and His accusers was not going to change God’s plan. Sometimes, we get so caught up in how many opportunities we miss to say something that we do not even consider how many opportunities we miss to be silent so that God can move forward with His plans. I am not speaking of denying your faith, but simply allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you about what to say and when to say it. I know I have missed plenty of opportunities to shut up and I have caused more damage to the Kingdom of God by “defending myself and my beliefs” than I would have if I had just been quiet and walked in love. It is nearly impossible to have an argument with only one participant. It is not a matter of being weak or getting walked on, but a matter of trusting that God will tell you when it is your time to speak on the issue. If we remember, like Jesus, that all of our battles belong to the Lord, then perhaps, we will learn that there are times when silence is golden. Ms. EV I have been on a bunch of retreats for various reasons. On many teambuilding retreats, there is an exercise called the Trust Fall. In this exercise, one person volunteers to blindly fall into the arms of another person or group of people. The person must face forward, without looking back and just fall. The idea is that you must trust the other person or the group of people to catch you when you fall. It is out natural human instinct that if we don’t trust someone during this exercise, that we will physically prevent ourselves from falling. In those instances, it shows the other person or persons involved that there is not enough trust available to surrender.
For years and years, I have had the dream to pursue a career in writing and songwriting. Last year, I started this blog just so that I would have a forum to share, in writing, the wisdom that God speaks to me. For so long, I thought that the only way to be a writer was to have a publishing deal and that nothing I wrote meant anything if I didn’t have that type of deal. When I started the blog, I didn’t know how much I would write or how often, I just started. I closed my eyes, spread my arms out wide, and fell backwards. I trusted that God would do whatever He wants to do with this. There have been times when I have been discouraged and have considered putting an end to this blog. There have been times when I have thought that maybe I am sharing too much of my life with complete strangers. And, every time I have those feelings, I get some sort of encouragement that I am doing the right thing. This is the easy part. The harder dream is the songwriting one. I think I am just more sensitive about the music that I have been inspired to write. Now, feels like the best time to move forward because, before now, I never knew the steps to start my music career, but suddenly, I am finding out information and seeing paths that seemed to be hidden before. It is somewhat scary, though. It seems like there is so much more to lose. This is one of those big Trust Falls; not the kind where you lean back into the arms of a friend, but the kind where you stand on a really high platform and fall into the arms of some co-workers that you barely know. The good news is that I am not falling into the arms of strangers; I am falling into the arms of Jesus. And no matter how vulnerable I feel, no matter how big a risk I take in pursuit of the dream, as long as I know I am following God’s lead, I can close my eyes, spread out my arms, and fall. I am at a stage where it feels like I won’t stop falling, but I know that no matter how far I fall, I can trust Jesus to catch me. I will land safely, and so will you. So, take all of your dreams and trust God with them. Take a leap of faith; He will catch you. Ms. EV I spend a lot of time reflecting on my life, not dwelling, but taking glimpses in the past to see what worked and what did not. Not only and I trying to avoid my past mistakes, but I am also looking for how the lessons I have learned can be a blessing to someone else. When I see someone headed down a familiar path, I cannot just stand by and watch them step in front of an oncoming train of heartache and disappointment. I feel I have to say or do something to get his or her attention. Now, I have learned that the person will not always listen to me, which is fine, hurtful, but fine. Sometimes in life we have to learn lessons for ourselves in order for them to stick. I mean, honestly, I don’t always listen to my warnings, so I can be mad when someone else ignores me. Nevertheless, I hope this blog will continue to help me and will help someone else who is trying to stay on the path to his or her dreams because I have discovered how to get everything you want in life.
Step One: Offer honor and respect where it’s due Step Two: Believe in God’s Word [O]ur God’s Word stands firm and forever. …Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth, doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, so will the words that come out of My mouth not come back empty-handed. They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them. Isaiah 40:8; Isaiah 55:10-11 MSG Many people are used to empty promises. We have either made them or gotten them from others. The beauty of being a child of the Most High King is that everything God says, He does. His Word is bond. God cannot lie and He cannot fail. So, why is it so hard to believe what He says and take Him at His Word? We seem to have no problem in believing the claims of promotional products or prominent public figures. Yet, we question the God who has kept every promise He has ever made. If we want to get everything we desire in life, we must believe God’s Word is true. This is not just about the promises written in the Bible, this is also about believing the promises that God has written on your heart. If you have a dream that you have walked away from because you felt that you could not accomplish it, yet it seems the dream will not die, there is a good chance that God placed that desire within you. He does not want you to give up on that which He has promised you, God wants you to believe in His promises and lean on Him. You do the possible and He will do the impossible. I shudder to think about how many times I was on the brink of achieving a goal and I gave up a moment too soon because I did not trust that God had my best interests in mind. When God breathes a dream, a promise into us, it is not meant to wither and die. It will not leave you empty-handed, or worse yet, empty-hearted. Let God’s Word work in and through your life. If you are not sure if your dream is a self-made dream or a God-breathed promise, compare it to His Word. God’s will for your life and His Word will never contradict one another. If your dream allows you to honor and respect God, first and foremost, and build up His Kingdom, don’t put it down because you can’t accomplish it on your own. That is exactly where God wants you to be. He needs us to get to the end of ourselves, so that we must trust and believe in His Word. After my book, Pray While You’re Prey, did not meet the goals I felt it should meet, I not only gave up on the book. I gave up on writing altogether. The desire to write persisted, but I thought that if no publisher would publish my and if people didn’t buy my books, then my writing was worthless and pointless. I gave up. But, I felt even more empty after I quit writing. I also felt overwhelmed because God was pouring wisdom into my spirit. Some was just for me, but some was meant to be shared. And, I, because things weren’t going my way, chose to believe Satan’s lies rather than God’s Word, so I had given up on writing, which was the very outlet that God had given me. It was one way in which He would use me. Once I started believing that writing was a dream God had placed on my heart again. He showed me how I could use the gift. Now, I feel full, closer to Him, and I am not burdened with too much information or with feeling like a failure. I believe that every word God gives to me has a purpose. I do not need to know that purpose; I just need to believe in God’s Word enough to allow Him to use me. What have you given up on because you don’t believe God can make it happen? Whose words do you believe over Gods? Family? Friends? Strangers? Satan? There is no one who will be 100% real with you the way God can. So, if you want to get everything you want in life, you have to believe in God’s Word. Tomorrow, I will continue with this discussion of how to get everything you want in life, so stay tuned…Ms. EV When I was 24, I was on vacation for spring break and my “boyfriend” at the time said that he might come down to see me during the break. I found out that his favorite team was going to be nearby, so I tried to give him a call to see if he would want to come see them. I called and left a message. Hours went by and I got no response. I tried to call again and got no answer. I called the house phone and kept calling until his roommate answered and told me to stop calling because he was trying to sleep; he did not, however, give me any indication about my guy’s whereabouts. I started panicking. Had he been in an accident? Was he in a hospital with no identification?
He called the next day. I was relieved until he ripped into me about how irrational it was to continue to call him when he wasn’t answering. It never crossed my mind that he just didn’t want to speak to me. I jumped to some pretty illogical and catastrophic conclusions. This was not the first time that this had happened; the jumping to horrific conclusions and being so panicked that I could not breathe thing was a normal part of my existence. And, I thought it was normal to everyone until he called me crazy. That was what it took for me to seek help. I went to a doctor. He made a diagnosis and I began treatment. One of the parts of treatment involved some breathing exercises. The results were not immediately better, but over time, I got better. Now, though I have an occasional bout of anxiety, it is no longer crippling. Now, when I am faced with situations that cause me to start down a slippery slope of disaster and panic, there is a quiet voice that whispers, “Just breathe….” As I inhale and exhale, it gives me the opportunity to calm down and to reflect on the fact that God is in control. The situation may not always have the results I desire, but they will always be the best results. Earlier this year, I was driving home and the decision I made by faith and obedience to cut off a source of income was weighing heavy on my mind. I started to panic, imagining that my cat and I would soon be homeless, but then I heard, “Just breathe…” and I calmed down. I remembered that there has never been a time when God has abandoned me. The issue was not solved immediately. I did not get another source of income that I was counting on earlier in the school year. I did not go to the mailbox and discover a random check. I had to tighten my budget, tithe, and trust God. Fast forward five months, God is in the process to replacing my source of income with an even better, more convenient work opportunity and I will be earning more than I was before. God is just good like that! So, while you may not suffer from an anxiety disorder, the next time you, or the devil, tried to get you all riled up over the circumstances that surround you, just breathe. With each breath, think of a time when God saw you through a situation from which you saw no escape. Think of the many times that God looked out for you when you could barely look out for yourself. Reflect on His goodness and just breathe. Ms. EV This past Sunday, during the opening of worship, we sang the “More than Enough” by The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. The words are:
Jehovah Jireh, my Provider You are more than enough for me Jehovah Rapha, you’re my Healer By Your stripes, I’ve been set free Jehovah Shammah, You are with me You supply all my needs You’re more than enough More than enough More than enough for me As the song continued, I began to envision that I was all alone singing for an audience of One. I felt as though I was sitting at the feet of Jesus singing this song of praise to Him. But, as I continued to sing, I felt a stir in my spirit asking me if I truly believed what I was singing. Do I really consider God, my Savior, to be more than enough? If He never did anything else for me, would I still lift my hands in praise or would I hang my head in defeat? I think that all of us would love to shout “Yes! Lord, no matter what happens to me, You have already done more than enough!” And, that is true. I fully understand that God does not owe me anything. He has already poured so much grace and mercy over my life that I did not deserve. Yet, there are still times when I want more. Can we sing or say that God is more than enough and continue to ask Him for more and more? If we ask God to bless us, does it mean that we do not believe that He is our everything? I don’t believe that taking your concerns, your thoughts, your dreams, and your prayers to God means that you devalue everything else that God has done. It does not mean that salvation was not enough. Jesus said, in John 10:10, that He has come to give us life more abundantly. That kind of life means that whether we have plenty or whether the world would consider us to be poor, God still reigns on the throne in our hearts. We contradict ourselves when we say that God is more than enough, but then, we try to do His job for Him. We are not being true to God when we say that He is more than enough, but we hang our heads in defeat at every time we get a bid of bad news. This earth is not our home, so we will always have a longing for something greater. There is no need to be ashamed of that. But, we must never be ashamed of our God. We must never think that there is any challenge to great for God. ‘More than enough’ does not meant we should never ask God for anything because that directly contradicts His Word. ‘More than enough’ is the character of God. When we do make our requests known to Him, He not only answers them, but He answers them in the best way for us. He gives us more than we asked for, even when He says, “No” or “Wait” because the denial or the delay always leads to something greater than we imagine. So, if you are thinking that you cannot sing, “You’re more than enough for me,” because you are still asking God to bless and keep you, don’t let the devil convince you of that lie. Hold your head up and shout it from the rooftops! My God is more than enough! My God is more than able! My God has already given me His best and will continue to do so! And, don’t just sing or shout it, mean it and believe it. Ms. EV Even though growing up, all I ever dreamed of was becoming an attorney, I very quickly realized that it was not the career for me. Because my life had been so geared toward that goal, it was then that I really had to start listening to God’s promptings. And, I was not always great at listening. Nonetheless, when you are faced with the fact that you no longer have the one consistent desire that you have had for most of your life, the best and safest place to turn is to God. So, I prayed. Lord, show me the right career. Lord, give me the financial stability and freedom that I need. Lord, bless me with a family of my own.
Each and everyday, I would pray to God for what I wanted. There is nothing wrong with asking God for your desires. He encourages us to ask, to seek, and to knock. I truly believe that my current career is where God wants me to be. However, the road is not always easy. Every year, as with almost every other industry, the game is changed. There are more and different demands, sometimes with less incentive and one really has to examine the true motivation behind the work. Last year, in the midst of anger, I made a decision to give up a source of income. Before I notified my superiors of my decision, I prayed and sought after God because I have learned not to make rash decisions out of anger and not to make any decision before I pray about it. Though I made the decision, it took two months of praying and listening before I announced the decision. And, I feel that I listened and it was the right thing to do. Still, the enemy wants to cause confusion and second guessing. As I said, this particular venture was a source of income; not a significant amount of income, but something extra. I realized that the time I was spending on this job could be spent pursuing the passions that God has placed in me, which would lead to a more joyful and peaceful existence created by a blissful balance of work and play. I started to record music, continued to write, and took on some catering and coordinating jobs, which are all things that I love to do. But, the things that I love to do aren’t replacing the little extra that I was making. I thought that there would be another opportunity that would not take up much time, but provide me with extra income; however that does not seem to be a possibility anymore. So, the devil wants me to start questioning whether or not I made the right decision. And, I give him credit because he is good at his job. He knows to throw in, “Now, you’re not just a lonely spinster, but you’re going to lose what little luxury you could afford. The only thing that made being alone bearable was that you could afford to treat yourself.” I will admit that I was letting him win. Then, I went and grabbed some of my notes that I keep around the house when I need inspiration. The first two things I read didn’t seem to speak to the current issue, but then I saw a quote that I copied from my dad’s “Courageous” calendar. It said, “I used to ask God for all kinds of things; now, I just ask for God and He takes care of all things.” The beauty of being His child is that I know He will provide. I do not need to seek the provision; I only need to seek the face of the Provider. I know I listened. Even though, I thought I was making a decision because of hurt feelings, when it came down to it, I believe that God allowed things to become uncomfortable, so that I would free myself up to be used by Him. I know that God is faithful and He knows my every need and He has NEVER failed me. So, I choose to ask for more of Him, to seek Him, and to knock at His door, knowing He will take care of ALL things! Ms. EV For the past couple of days, I have been writing about those things that God sees that we either choose not to see or that we really could not see. I have been talking about trusting that God knows everything and He knows what is best. So, of course, the current attack in my life has to do with not knowing a piece of information.
I have some very important deadlines coming up pretty soon. In order for me to meet my obligations, there is a key piece of information that I need. I searched the Internet for an answer. I found nothing. I e-mailed a person who I thought would know. She told me to e-mail another person who should know. That person said she didn’t know and copied my question to someone who was doing the job of the person who would know the answer to my question. That person e-mailed me back and said someone else was in charge of the information, but she would not tell me the name of said person, so that I could make contact. I got frustrated. Then, I heard, “Trust Me.” And, I whined, “God, I do trust You, but I still wanna know!” I almost feel like God laughed at me and I can’t blame Him. I am convinced that He has an awesome sense of humor. Don’t get distracted by trying to figure out what my question was about; just pay close attention. We cannot say we trust God and have to know every step of the plan at the same time. If you are a control freak like I am, then you understand this struggle. I know it is wrong. I know I have to just trust God. Yet, I still find myself trying to figure out certain things. The beautiful thing is that God knows exactly who I am and He loves me in spite of my shortcomings. I believe that I could not get anyone to give me the answer to my question and I ran into a dead end, so that God could get my attention focused back on trusting Him. There are so many examples in my life that I could point to where I trusted God and He came through for me in inexplicable ways. It’s actually kind of crazy that in my search for answers, I seem to forget about all of those times. The good news is that I am growing in my faith and I can recognize when I am going off the track of trust. Do I still wanna know the answer to my question? You betcha! But, as Job said, “Yet will I trust Him!” I probably wouldn’t understand the answer if He let me know anyway. When you know God, you don’t have to know all of the answers! Ms. EV |
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