Being an introvert means that I am only outspoken when I am extremely passionate about something. Other than that, I am loud when I am in performance mode and when I am around the people with whom I am the most comfortable. Alternatively, I am quiet most of the time. I spend most of my time by myself, so it would be weird if I talked a lot. I am quiet when I am processing or thinking about something. I am quiet when I know that what I say will cause a confrontation because I hate confrontation (unless it is something about which I am extremely passionate). Most of what I say is in my head though, and although, other people cannot hear it, God knows exactly what I am saying.
The other day, I was reading a devotional and came across this verse in Exodus, “God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!” Exodus 14:14 (MSG). It was a slap in the face, but the good kind; the kind that wakes you up. It was akin to one of my favorite prayers, Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder…and Your hand over my mouth. Our words are very powerful, and I try to choose mine wisely, but I know that I am guilty of using my tongue as a sword. I used to be quite proud of having that as a talent. I loved the fact that I never had to actually put my hands on people because I could do much more damage with my words. I know that is a flawed mindset, but it was my defense mechanism. Now, that I have become more careful with my words, I still find destructive speech goes on in my head. Sometimes, it is directed at other people. Sometimes, it is directed at me. And sometimes, though I am not proud to admit it, it is directed at God. When I read that verse, it reminded me that no matter what is going on in my life, God has the final say. He can and will fight all of my battles and win. My job is to shut my mouth, whether that means not saying something out loud or quieting the negative voices in my head. The verse was directed towards the most quintessential whiners in all of history: the post-Egypt, pre-Promised Land Israelites. Despite all of the times God had delivered them, they still complained every time even a hint of adversity appeared. Now, before we get all high and mighty and condemn their whining ways, let us remember, well at least I know I need to remember, that we do the same exact thing. God rescues us over and over again, even sometimes when we create the calamity, and yet, we have doubt when a new storm arises. So, this verse reminds us, while God is fighting, we just need to be quiet, listen to Him and let Him handle it. Remember, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Ms. EV
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I am always saying, as an excuse, “Oh, I thought it, but I didn’t say it.” In fact, those very words came out of my mouth yesterday. I was dealing with a co-worker with whom there is no love lost, and I thought about saying all kinds of things to him, but I was so proud that the thoughts did not escape my lips. But, as I read Philippians 4:8 this morning, I was convicted. Though I didn’t say anything I thought, it was clear that my thoughts were fixated on the situation because I shared it with my mother and another co-worker (boasting how proud I was of myself for not going off on the guy). Until today, I had always read that verse and thought, “How exactly am I supposed to do this?” How do we fix our thoughts? I mean, you can’t control what you think. However, we can control what influences our thoughts and the thoughts upon which we fixate our minds.
As I grow closer to Christ, I have realized that the thoughts I have are more true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable. They are not perfect; they are still a work in progress, but they are closer. And, what about those nasty thoughts? We have to be careful. You cannot control what you think, but you can control how long you think about it and what you do or say about it. For example, I have a terrible habit of anticipating bad things, and then, dwelling on them, trying to come up with solutions before I ever face a problem. Like, every year, I anticipate being depressed from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day. I am single, a lot of money is spent, and although I love the time with my family, at the end of the day, I have no human waiting for me at home. It can be very sad. This past year was no exception, and to add to it, I was dealing with the fact that my grandmother would not be here because she passed away earlier in the year. I planned different activities to do to keep my mind off of being alone, but each time I didn’t do one of the activities, I became even more depressed. Then, on New Year’s Eve, when I had nothing to do and no one to go anywhere with, I decided to stop destroying my victorious life with defeated thoughts. I was not going to anticipate heartache and failure, but joy and success. “Fix your thoughts” indicates that your thoughts may be broken, but there is a solution and that solution is found in an intimate and expectant relationship with Christ. Again, it is a work in progress, but my God works all things together for my good. So, I will fix my thoughts on Him, and trust that He will see me through. Ms. EV I am not a big fan of chores. One of the drawbacks to living alone is that there is no one with whom to share the chores. It is not that I am not a clean person; I just have a little touch of OCD, so when I start cleaning, I do not finish for a few hours because I cannot stop until everything is shiny and perfect. My absolute least favorite chore is taking out the trash. I live in a condo and we do not have individual garbage cans that get rolled out to the end of the driveway and emptied. We have a trash compactor, which is not super close to my unit. This means that after I bag up the stinky, smelly garbage (because it really doesn’t matter what you put in it; it is always gross), I have to load it up in my car and drive it to the compactor. Then, I have to endure the lovely scent of all of the neighborhood’s waste as I chuck my bags in to the compactor. I have a pretty significant list of desires for my dream man and one of them is that I never have to ask him to take out the trash or have take it out myself; then, I will know it is true love.
This morning, as I was packing up my garbage, I thought, “I hate doing this.” Then, my mind wanted to engage in this extended diatribe about how if I had a man, I wouldn’t have to take out the garbage and life would be so great. And, just as I started down that road, I felt something whiz past my nose. I could barely see it, but it kept buzzing around my head. It was a fruit fly. For anyone who doesn’t know, these tiny insects are very annoying, and unlike regular flies, they are hard to see and too small for a flyswatter. This is what happens when you live in Florida, or I am guessing anywhere hot, and you are dealing with trash outside; these little buggers are everywhere. They love garbage almost as much as I hate it. Nonetheless, that little pest changed my thinking. I still hate taking out the garbage and want a man to do it (reverse chauvinism, I know), but I realized that getting rid of the trash, literally and figuratively is a necessary task. Think about what happens when you let garbage into your thought process. “You’re fat.” “You’re ugly.” “You’re stupid.” “You’re unlovable.” It is one thing to bag those thoughts up and put them in the garage of your mind until you have time to stop by the dumpster. But, as those thoughts fester in that hot, sweltering garage, the fruit flies start swarming. So, you still hear the negativity buzzing all around you. You have to completely discard the rubbish in order to be free from its effects. In my compactor it gets smashed, then hauled off and dumped. The same thing has to happen with any kind of junk in our lives. Beyond our thought lives, there is some refuse we need to clear in relationships (well, some relationships are refuse), in our finances, and in our habits. We cannot just bag it up and store it until we have time to deal with it; pack it up, dump it, and do not go back looking for it. Stop calling it, texting it, spending money it, spending time with it. Get rid of it; ALL of it! Taking out the trash in our lives allows us to have a cleaner, fresher outlook. It gives God the opportunity to fill those newly emptied spaces. As much as it is not my favorite chore, there is a quantifiable benefit. Ms. EV The devil doesn’t fight fair. And, he is good at what he does. No matter how far you have come or how much you have grown, the devil seems to always know when to bring up your past. All the wrong choices you’ve made, all the mistakes you’d rather forget are his choicest weapons. The past creeps into your mind and you don’t know where the thoughts come from or what to do with them. Next thing you know, you are feeling defeated and running from God. How could He possibly love you? Why didn’t He keep you from the situations in the first place? Who are you to be used by Him? Believe me, these torturous contemplations are of the devil because God has forgiven you and forgotten the past (if you asked Him to). If the devil can get you to dwell on these thoughts and to believe that you are not worth God’s time, then he wins.
So, how do we fight back? We most definitely can’t do it on our own. Spiritual warfare is serious and just when you are about to reach your breakthrough is when the devil commissions his most elite special operatives. Their tactics are so cunning that most people would find themselves curled in the fetal position begging for mercy. But, even if the devil’s first blow comes unexpectedly, get back up, stand firm in God and fight the destructive thoughts that Satan plants. You are God’s royal child. You might have messed up, but He loves with an unfathomable love. God has your back (and your front and your sides). Psalm 18:34 says He shows [us] how to fight, so let Him help you win, not just the overall war, but every battle in between. Because rest assured, if you beat the devil once, he’s not giving up, so you must be ready to fight again tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Ephesians 6:13 (MSG) I am always saying, as an excuse, “Oh, I thought it, but I didn’t say it.” In fact, those very words came out of my mouth yesterday. I was dealing with a co-worker with whom there is no love lost, and I thought about saying all kinds of things to him, but I was so proud that the thoughts did not escape my lips. But, as I read Philippians 4:8 this morning, I was convicted. Though I didn’t say anything I thought, it was clear that my thoughts were fixated on the situation because I shared it with my mother and another co-worker (boasting how proud I was of myself for not going off on the guy). Until today, I had always read that verse and thought, “How exactly am I supposed to do this?” How do we fix our thoughts? I mean, you can’t control what you think. However, we can control what influences our thoughts and the thoughts upon which we fixate our minds.
As I grow closer to Christ, I have realized that the thoughts I have are more true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable. They are not perfect; they are still a work in progress, but they are closer. And, what about those nasty thoughts? We have to be careful. You cannot control what you think, but you can control how long you think about it and what you do or say about it. For example, I have a terrible habit of anticipating bad things, and then, dwelling on them, trying to come up with solutions before I ever face a problem. Like, every year, I anticipate being depressed from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day. I am single, a lot of money is spent, and although I love the time with my family, at the end of the day, I have no human waiting for me at home. It can be very sad. This past year was no exception, and to add to it, I was dealing with the fact that my grandmother would not be here because she passed away earlier in the year. I planned different activities to do to keep my mind off of being alone, but each time I didn’t do one of the activities, I became even more depressed. Then, on New Year’s Eve, when I had nothing to do and no one to go anywhere with, I decided to stop destroying my victorious life with defeated thoughts. I was not going to anticipate heartache and failure, but joy and success. “Fix your thoughts” indicates that your thoughts may be broken, but there is a solution and that solution is found in an intimate and expectant relationship with Christ. Again, it is a work in progress, as Valentine's Day approaches, but my God works all things together for my good. So, I will fix my thoughts on Him, and trust that He will see me through. Ms. EV |
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