For the foreseeable future, Ms. EV's Blog will feature music from Toni LaShaun Music. Today's song is Stay In My Lane. I wrote this song after waking up one day and realizing that I was getting upset over how God blessed others rather than focusing on where God was leading me. It is a great compliment to the blog earlier this week, Stay In Your Lane. I have not recorded it yet, but here are the lyrics: Stay In My Lane
© Copyright 2012 Toni L. Wortherly I have a chance At victory If I keep my mind Stayed on Thee If I’d stop looking Yo the right or left Maybe I could stop Envying someone else I have to stay in my lane Ket God take the wheel He has not steered me wrong And He never will Your road to success May differ from mine But we will get there In His perfect time Chorus God is so much wiser than me He sees the dangers that I cannot see He will change my direction Reroute my path Close doors that were opened To nothing but bad If I listen to His Spirit He will be my Guide For He knows what is best for me For He knows what is best for me
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So, I was watching one of many reality television shows that I tend to watch (don’t judge me), and one of the women, who is a singer/songwriter, but also dabbles in the adult entertainment industry, said, very casually, “I think I want to try a gospel record.” Through the magic of television, by the end of the episode, she had written the song and arranged to have a very high-profile gospel artist sing the song with her. On the next episode, they recorded the song.
Many of you may know that I am not just a blogger, I also write music. I have been writing for many years. As my relationship with Christ has grown, I have been more in tune with how He would have me use this gift. When I started writing, I wrote what I knew would be amazingly popular pop ballads. I would write inspirational music every once in a while. Then, I started writing more Christian, inspirational songs and less pop/R&B songs. One day, my computer crashed and the only songs that I had a hard copy of were the Christian, inspirational songs. For most of this time, my songs were words on a page and a melody in my head. Then, God blessed me with the ability to play chords on the guitar, which led me to where I am now. I have been humbled by the response to my music and the doors that have opened. Nevertheless, when I saw this young lady so casually decide to dabble in the gospel industry, it cut me to the core. How could she accomplish in such a short period of time something that I am so committed to and doing for the right reasons? It just seemed unfair! Then, the voice of reason (my mom--God uses her in this role A LOT!) told me that I cannot look at what happens with other people. I have to keep my eyes on what God is telling me to do. God can use anybody to spread His message. And, guess what, He does not have to get my approval. I just heard a voice saying, “Stay in your lane.” I actually have an affirmation on my mirror that reminds me to stay in my lane because I find myself looking at others and getting frustrated when it is really none of my business. When you are driving, if you stare into the side view mirrors for too long, eventually, you will start drifting into another lane, possibly causing a collision. That is not what God wants. He wants to use each of His children for His glory. All that matters is that His Name is praised and that souls that are lost are being reached. If I am confident that God can and will make a way for my music ministry, then it does not matter what someone else does. Sure, I can make the claim that it upsets me because it seems that she is making a mockery of an industry that I want to break into, but that is God’s business not mine. And, the Bible promises in Galatians that God is not mocked. Either way, we each need to focus on what God has for us, not what He has for others. It will make for a much more peaceful existence. Ms. EV I love football! I went to two games this weekend and managed to sneak in another during the commercial breaks of a Lifetime movie and once the movie was over. Friday night's game was arguably one of the most important regular season games for the football team of my alma mater where I also teach and have two nephews on the team. The first half was miserable. Our team looked like a completely different team than the one that had rolled over all, but one team in the preceding weeks. Then, just before halftime, the ball was thrown to my oldest nephew and he got a much-needed first down that led to a touchdown before the half.
After our team got within two points of the opposing team in the fourth quarter and blocked a field goal to give themselves a chance for the win, my nephew made two more spectacular catches to get the team within field goal range with 18 seconds on the clock. However, the kicker had missed two field goals that night, so the offense decided to go for the touchdown. The offensive line did their best blocking of the night, the quarterback dropped back, my nephew waited for the ball to go in for the winning score, but the QB threw the ball towards a receiver that wasn't expecting the ball and the defense intercepted it. They lost a district game, making the road to the playoffs more difficult, but not impossible. Saturday night, I saw that my team was winning, so I watched my movie and then turned back to the game to watch the fourth quarter. The opposing team gave a slight scare, but once they were off of the field with little time remaining, I figrure the game was over and my team had won, so I turned the TV off and went to bed. I woke up the next morning to find out that they lost by one point. Yesterday, I went to an NFL game. My team seemed to be on the right track for the first half, but they got killed in the second half and suffered an embarassing loss. It was not a great football weekend for my teams. Last year, while actor Charlie Sheen was doing some really odd and self-destructive acts, he was known to say the phrase, "Winning!" which was a contradiction to what he was actually doing. After seeing these games, I began to think today, is there any way that an apparent loss could be a win? Then, as I was reading this morning I saw several verses that assured me that losing down here is not what matters; what matters is what we gain when we lose. Romans 8:8-9 (MSG) says, "Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn’t pleased at being ignored. But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him." When we lose ourselves and focus on God, although the world might not see the powerful acts of God that are going on, our lives will be infinitely better. When we fully surrender and submit, giving complete control to God, that is a win! We can see life change for the better, whichis not to say that there will not be challenges, but in the end, we win! Last year, our high school was defeated in the regular season by the same team they lost to on Friday, but when they got to the playoffs, they beat that same team to advance to the state final four. Life on earth is the regular season. We are going to take some losses. Some days, those losses are not our fault; they are caused by others not giving us the chances to win. Other losses are near misses because we were so close to the win, but we did not play through the end. Sometimes we lose because we just plain stink at life. But, this life on earth is the regular season and heaven is our championship. If we can make it through the tough times down here with our focus on God and His Spirit in our hearts, confessing Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour, we can turn losing into winning! Ms. EV In tomorrow's blog, I will continue this subject with more wisdom from Romans 8 We have undoubtedly all heard the saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side." But, what exactly does this phrase mean. It usually means that from where you are standing, it seems the people around you have better everything. They have a better life, a better family, a better job, a better relationship. And, it's frustrating because you seem to be doing the same things, in fact, sometimes you're even doing better and you serve the Lord faithfully. Yet, they still seem to be getting the best in life while you are struggling to survive.
Most of my life I have been taught to ignore what other people have and that the grass only seems greener. But, a few years back one of our ministers shed some light on this popular phrase. He said that the grass really is greener and if you hop across the fence you'll see why. What's the best way to make grass grow? Fertilize it. What fertilizer makes grass all green and shiny? Usually, manure. So, when you hop over to "the other side" the grass is bright green, but you usually find yourself knee deep in...manure. The family with the fantastic house down the street is up to their eyeballs in debt. The woman whose husband is so perfect is cheating on her, or worse, he is abusive to her. The man at your job who got a promotion that you worked hard for stepped on so many people that they are plotting his undoing. Are we really sure that greener grass is what we want? Or, do we want the future and hope that God has promised us? I am going to put my hope in Christ. It may seem that others are prospering, but we have no business looking at what anyone else does or has because our focus should be on Christ alone. Ms. EV I figured that since I have already written about driving for two days, I would continue with that theme today. Today, however, I am not talking about the rules of the literal road, but the rules on the proverbial road of life. What drives us? What is transporting us toward our goals? What is motivating us in our relationships with people? What is getting us to a deeper love and understanding of our Master? Are we purpose-driven or profit-driven? Is it wrong to be both?
I absolutely believe that I was meant to publish Pray While You’re Prey seven years ago. The book is my testimony, and, to this day, people tell me that it is helpful to them as they walk the single, Christian journey. While I am confident in publishing the book, I am pretty sure that the way that I handled publishing the book was not the way God would have chosen. With a manuscript that got rave reviews and just enough legal know-how to be dangerous, I very quickly took God’s plan and ran down my own path with it. I tried to get a publisher for the book. I sent out query letter after query letter and got rejection after rejection, so I felt that it was in my best interest to self-publish. I did all of the research of the costs of printing and publishing, gathered a team that was willing to invest time, talent and treasure and I was off to the races. Even with the help of others, I still needed more funding, so I got a small business credit card that had zero percent interest for the first six or twelve months or something, and then, of course had a huge interest rate if the balance was not paid in that time frame. (I should probably mention that at that point in my life, I was two years into my dad’s credit reconstruction/financial responsibility plan from all of the bad financial mistakes I had made in college and law school.) So, here I was with this fantastic testimony in manuscript form and a credit card, so that I could act immediately on my dream. At the time, I felt that by putting the printing and marketing costs (keep in mind that there was no social media) of the books on credit, I was showing God that I was “all in” on this vision. I was ready and willing to take on any challenge. In hindsight, I realize that I just was not willing to wait on Him to provide a better plan for what I wanted to do. So, I had a book release event, got my book in stores and did book signings. I was even on the radio promoting the book. But, as the time started to wind down to the high interest rate on the credit card, my motivation shifted from conveying a message of hope and encouragement to getting that cash money honey. I did not handle the moderate success that I had with the book very well. I expected people to come out in droves to my book signings and invite me to speak all over the country. And of course, once Oprah got a hold of the book, it would be in her book club, and I would be RICH…hahahahahaha! And, I wonder why God only shares pieces of information with me and not the whole picture! There is nothing wrong with believing that God will prosper you in His purpose for your life, but when you replace His plans with your own, you cannot expect the same results that you would have gotten if you had listened to Him. So, now I am at the halfway point of recording my first CD. People keep asking me what my next step will be and I keep asking God the same question because I never want to veer off onto my own path again. I had to stop and ask myself why I am even recording. The fact is that I have always had a desire to record music. The only other careers I envisioned besides attorney were educator and recording artist/producer. I do not feel like I came to those conclusions on my own because God has blessed me with the talents to match. I know that with music and writing of any kind that I do, the most important aspects are the lyrics and the message. Music is a universal language and I believe it to be one of my gifts for Kingdom-building. I would love for writing and music to be my careers; nevertheless, it is about God’s will and God’s timing. Right now, I am a teacher and I love teaching, but I did not intend to be a high school teacher forever, so is it wrong to want to make a career out of my gifts? Let me give you a hint, that question was rhetorical. I do not believe that it is wrong to pursue the passion that God has placed in you. But, we have to take the time to be brutally honest with ourselves and know whether we are driven by moving on God’s mission or driven by making that good money. When I felt that I was no longer going to make any money from my books, I quit because, at the time, I was profit-driven. All that mattered was the bottom line and that was wrong. Imagine if all that mattered to God was the bottom line. What if all He cared about was your salvation and after that you were on your own? Thankfully, He is a gracious and merciful God that does not just want us to be saved, but also cares about the quality of our lives. When it comes to dreams, goals, relationships, and loving God, we should be driven by purpose first and foremost. It is okay to be profit-driven if the gain is God’s glory revealed or souls snatched from the devil’s grip. God created us to praise and please Him, so that is what we are called to do and it is not about what we can personally gain. If God’s purpose in giving talents is for it to become a career, then that is what it will be. However, even if is it not meant to be a career, we should not going to stop using the talent for His glory. Many times we look at the provision, the people, and the purpose God blesses us with and we only want them for the benefits associated with them. If you throw away a blessing because you don’t feel that you are getting enough out of the deal, then you are strictly profit-driven. And, by profits, I do not mean strictly monetary harvests. So, as you move in the vision that God has for your life, be sure to note whether you are purpose-driven or profit-driven. Ms. EV Well, since I talked about driving yesterday, I may as well stick with that theme today. There are a lot of lessons to be learned while you are driving. For example, my mom and I were headed out the other day and I was driving. We had to make a left turn out of her neighborhood. This left turn is not an easy turn to make because it seems that traffic is always flowing steadily past the neighborhood, leaving little to no room to get on to the main road. As we approached the exit of the neighborhood, my phone beeped, so when I got to the stop sign, I checked to see who it was and if I needed to return the message while I was safely stopped. The only issue was that when I looked down at my phone, I did not realize that the coast was clear to make that left turn, and, by the time I looked up, there were cars everywhere. My mom looked at me and said, “You missed your opportunity.”
We sat at the stop sign for what seemed to be a very long time, but were probably about five more minutes, waiting until the coast was clear again for a left turn. And, though we reached our destination in plenty of time, my mom’s words were stuck in my head, “You missed your opportunity.” This time, I missed it because I was distracted by my phone. But, because I only live a few minutes away from my parents’ house, there are many times when I am sitting at that intersection, needing to make that left turn, and I miss the chance to make it for another reason, like the fact that I am afraid of making left turns that are not at a light. So, it got me thinking, “How many times do we miss opportunities because we are too preoccupied or too petrified to see our opening?” These missed opportunities can occur in our dreams and goals, our relationships, and in sharing Christ. I once heard my pastor say, “Whatever breaks your focus becomes your master.” We can be on a path to greatness, but if we allow distractions into our lives, they can cause us to miss opportunities. Distractions come in many forms. Our thoughts can be distracting, which is why the Bible tells us to take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). I don’t know about anyone else, but I know that my mind is capable of coming up with all sorts of scenarios that are much worse than anything that would ever really happen. And, when I give in to those thoughts of self-pity, self-doubt, self-centeredness (notice a theme here), it does not take long before I have talked myself out of pursuing a dream or goal. Other people can be distracting. Either we focus on what others are doing and become envious of their successes, rather than being steadfast on the path that God has given us or we become so focused on other people’s issues that we stop pursuing on the dreams God has placed in our hearts. Sometimes, we are too focused on what others are telling us we should do instead of listening to God’s voice alone. The minute we take our eyes off of the end goal because of negative thoughts or negative interactions with people, we miss our opportunity. Fear is another reason we miss our opportunities. Fear is only as powerful as we allow it to be. I have missed plenty of opportunities because of fear. Looking back, as a child of God, fear has no place in my life because it is not something that God intends for His children to have (2 Timothy 1:7). When I was engaged to my ex-husband, my mom, who was and is much wiser than I am, implored me to reconsider my decision. Rather than listen to her and take that opportunity to take control of my destiny, I let fear rule. I feared that if I did not get married then, I would never get married. At that point in my life, being single forever was a fate worse than death and I could not allow that to happen. Though my marriage was short-lived, I stayed married longer than I should have because I feared what others might say or think about me. I let fear win and I missed the chance to go to law school a year earlier, and to have the entire experience as an unmarried person. I am positive that I missed some opportunities to build friendships and fully engage in my learning experience during that time because of a decision based on fear. Are there times when you have realized that you missed your opportunity? I recently had someone with whom I wanted to be in a relationship a long time ago make a comment about missing his chance with me. But, it is not just about relationships. How many times do we miss the chance to use our gifts because we are distracted? How many times do we miss the opportunity to pray for someone or tell someone about Christ because we are afraid of being dubbed a “Jesus freak?” We have to pay closer attention to God’s urging and make that turn when the coast is clear; knowing that He is not going to cause us to turn too quickly and get into an accident. However, when we miss the opportunity, He will let us sit and wait and think about it. The good news is that God is a loving God, and whatever He has for you is for you. So, even though I missed my first opportunity, I eventually made the left turn and reached my destination. In the same way, God will allow us to get to the prize that He has for us, if we will stay focused and fearless. Ms. EV |
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