My sincerest apologies, but, due to circumstances beyond my control, I am unable to post Ms. EV's blog today. All is well and there will be Friday Fusion blog tomorrow. In the meantime, you can check out any blogs you've missed at http://elevatedvalues.weebly.com/. God bless! Ms. EV
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I wanted to repost this blog because I needed to remind myself that there will come a time when I am not so busy and I will be bored and I want to be sure that I remember to be thankful for those times. It seems that every time I cross one thing off of my to-do list about five more things get added. While I am thankful for most of it, it can become overwhelming, but I do know that there is an end in sight and I think I will appreciate that end even more than I have in the past.
In my younger years, boredom was something that rarely existed. This was, of course, back in the day, when children actually played outside with friends. Then, as an adolescent, I found sports and other activities that kept me busy after school. I would get home just in time for dinner, homework and family time. As a college student and law student, I prided myself on being a part of several extracurricular activities and working while maintaining my grades. But, once the school years were over, and the “real world” experience began, I found myself getting bored and I hated it. Boredom, for me, during those times meant that I was alone with my thoughts. Being an introverted, analytical person, boredom created an opportunity for me to examine every detail of my life, which generally left me disappointed because I was not where I thought I would be. As I have grown closer to Christ, I have learned how to reflect on my present and my past with thankfulness. I have also learned to appreciate boredom. For me, being bored is the opposite of busy. I love busy. Busy means I don’t have time to think about being single or not having the level of success that I desire. Busy is not threatening. It usually brings accolades and attention. It’s my Martha place. But, literally, as I sit here, having finished a huge event, caught up on my work, and feeling pretty satisfied, I have to say that I am thankful for the boredom. I am thankful for the break and the rest. I’m finally getting comfortable in my Mary place; a place of reflection where I can sit at the feet of Jesus. I can listen for the still, small voice because it doesn’t have to compete with all of the other voices (real voices not just the one in my head). I can get strength for the journey and reenergize for my next assignment. In the past, I would spend this time agonizing over exactly what that assignment would be. I would fill the time with searching out clues for how I could get busy again. Now, I have learned that there is a season for busy and season for boredom. Both are a blessing from God. Ms. EV I love my day job. I absolutely am giddy about the ability to impart knowledge and wisdom into the minds and hearts of our youth. This was not always the career that I envisioned for myself. My teenage self thought that I would either own my own law firm or be a partner in a law firm at thirty-five. I would be a wife and a mother of pre-teenagers. I would be in a completely different place if my teenage self was correct. I gave up practicing law after a short time and I started teaching. I got a divorce and I am not even dating anyone, so, clearly, that was not meant to be my reality.
Even though I am content with my job and my relationship status, there are times when I come face-to-face with completely unfair situations. Despite my best efforts to do my job as unto Christ, and despite the respect that I have from my colleagues and my supervisors, there are still times when I am attacked. The worst is when it is seemingly for no apparent reason. So, here is what I have learned about life from Joseph and Paul. Like Joseph, I told everyone who would listen about my dream to become an attorney, a wife, and a mother. Though, I was not tossed in a pit by my brothers, I somewhat created my own pit of pressure to live up to this ideal life that I had bragged about before it ever happened. That led to a divorce, depression, and disillusion with my chosen career. So, I changed into what seemed to be career that fit my personality, but that I knew was not my forever job. Even though, I know how to do my job, there are still times when unfair accusations are hurled my way, leading me to feel like I am in prison, where Joseph found himself after false accusations by Potiphar’s wife. So, here is where the lesson from Paul comes in because Paul shows everyone how to react to being imprisoned. Paul teaches us, first of all, that many times, you can be punished even when you have done nothing wrong. However, that punishment should not paralyze you, you should instead use it as a platform to continue to show the love, grace and mercy of Christ. We should not seek revenge against those who persecute us, but we should seek to reveal Christ in every situation. Though Paul was in prison, he didn’t throw a pity party; he continued to pray, praise and preach the gospel of Christ. And, when we feel trapped, imprisoned by the snares set up by the enemy, we must not sit idle; we must continue to move in God’s direction in the best way we can until He delivers us from the situation. This leads me back to Joseph. As my pastor has preached, Joseph went from the pit to prison to the palace. So, we must be confident that there is a better place for us; God has a plan for us. The person, place or thing that has you feeling imprisoned will not be the end of you, unless you let them. Just like Joseph said in Genesis 50:20, they mean it for evil, but God can use it for good. So, if you are feeling trapped, keep praying, praising, and preaching like Paul, and watch God move you from your pit and your prison to a palace like Joseph. Ms. EV I was awakened from my nap by a rather boisterous thunder boom. I groggily sat up in my bed and looked out the window just in time to see a flash of lightning that didn’t look to far from my house. I jumped up and hurried out of the room to make sure that anything that wasn’t plugged into a surge protector was unplugged from the wall, especially my precious laptop that has been charging while I was recharging.
As I sat on my couch, I turned on the new to see the local weatherman, Captain Obvious, telling me there were severe thunderstorms. The lightning was striking what seemed to be inches from my condo and every single thunder clap shook my whole house. So, I did what any sensible thirty-four year-old would do, I called my mommy. She laughed at me and told me that she was eating dinner and it was just a thunderstorm. I played down how scared I actually was in the moment. There are a couple of trees near my window and I started thinking, “What if one of these trees crashes through my window?” It was just me and my cat, Joy Bella, huddled on the couch waiting for the storm to pass. Then, the power went out. It went out in such a way that I was sure lightning had struck my electronics despite the surge protector, so I called my mom again. She assured me that the power would come on again very soon. When I hung up, I had a moment. All I could think was, “This would be a good time to have someone here with me to comfort me.” I mean, I couldn’t leave the house because the weather was so bad. Then, the storm brought cold weather and thoughts of how nice it would be to snuggle up with someone I love. That same thunder and lightning that were scaring the mess out of me would have been romantic in a different circumstance. And, there I was again thinking, “Lord, why don’t you want me to have someone special in my life?” A little while later, I picked up my guitar and started playing some new songs I had written. I soon forgot the lonely feelings. Then, during my quiet time, I read Romans 9 and the last verse really touched my heart, Romans 9:33 (The Message), “If you’re looking for me, you’ll find me on the way, not in the way.” It was as if God was saying, “My Love, I know you are seeking me and I know that sometimes you feel lonely. But I’m here. And, as long as you look for Me, you will find Me. I am not standing in the way of you being in a relationship. I just want you to enjoy our relationship. Enjoy the moments when it is just you and Me. Everything will work out in the best way possible because I love you.” He is not IN the way, but I can find Him ON the way in every moment that I feel scared and alone, or joyful and excited. He is always there, and if you look for Him, you will find Him; not in the way as a stumbling block, but on the way as everything you need. Ms. EV For the foreseeable future, Ms. EV's Blog will feature music from Toni LaShaun Music. Today's song is Stay In My Lane. I wrote this song after waking up one day and realizing that I was getting upset over how God blessed others rather than focusing on where God was leading me. It is a great compliment to the blog earlier this week, Stay In Your Lane. I have not recorded it yet, but here are the lyrics: Stay In My Lane
© Copyright 2012 Toni L. Wortherly I have a chance At victory If I keep my mind Stayed on Thee If I’d stop looking Yo the right or left Maybe I could stop Envying someone else I have to stay in my lane Ket God take the wheel He has not steered me wrong And He never will Your road to success May differ from mine But we will get there In His perfect time Chorus God is so much wiser than me He sees the dangers that I cannot see He will change my direction Reroute my path Close doors that were opened To nothing but bad If I listen to His Spirit He will be my Guide For He knows what is best for me For He knows what is best for me So, everyone knows that teachers are way overpaid and extremely rich, right? (Insert sarcasm) But, seriously folks, if I had a dime for every time someone asked me why I am a teacher instead of an attorney (because I have a law degree and passed the bar and practiced law for a short time), I would be stupid rich! Nevertheless, I have come to realize that it is not how much money you make; it is what you do with all that God gifts you, your time, talents and treasure that really matters.
No disrespect to the profession of law; I have several friends who practice law very successfully. Being an attorney did not fit with my personality. I had to decide if I would stay in a profession that was literally making me ill, or if I would pursue a different path. I chose my current day job because of the opportunity to enrich the lives of younger generations and because of all of the days of vacation. It was never about the paycheck. It was about finding something fulfilling that allowed me the time I needed to pursue my other dreams and passion in life. With my passions and dreams firmly in sight, I taught for the first couple of years, and then, I bought a house. In order to pay for my house, I had to work more hours. That meant I had less time for dream chasing because I had to work, which left me exhausted. But, last year, I made a conscious choice to put the extra, “time robbing” pursuits aside and focus on my faith, my family, and my future. Letting go of the extra jobs meant letting go of the extra income, and at first, it was a struggle. It had been a long time since I had too much month at the end of my money, and I was not really sure how to handle it. One thing was for sure, I was confident that my actions were God-led, so I knew He would take care of me. I didn’t know how, but I knew He would. In this season, I learned about God Math. God Math is when you make less money, have more bills, continue to give your tithes and offerings and end up with a surplus. It makes no sense, but, then again, when does anything supernatural make sense? I stopped balancing my checkbook a long time ago because it was depressing. I do live on a budget, though, and at the top of the budget, is giving my first fruits to God. I am not saying that I didn’t tighten my purse strings when I got a pay cut because I do have common sense. What I am saying is that if you put all of the numbers in a calculator, they would drive any accountant crazy! That is how God works. When your relationship with Him and your pursuits for His dreams for your life become your focus, He will make miracles happen. I used to hear the church folks say, “He’ll make a way out of now way,” and I didn’t really understand what that meant. Now, I do; it’s God Math! I made straight A’s in mathematics and I don’t understand it, but you don’t have to understand; you have to trust! Ms. EV In 1 Samuel 13, Saul and his army are fighting in a battle with the Philistines at Gilgal. The Lord, through Samuel, told Saul to wait seven days, until Samuel arrived, and then, He would give Saul the victory. Saul, though he was holding his ground, however, felt that Samuel was taking too long, and as soon as the seventh day hit and Samuel was not there, Saul took it upon himself to make a sacrificial offering. Just after he did this, Samuel arrived. Samuel let Saul know that, because of his disobedience, he would be replaced by God as king.
At first glance, I read this story and I could not understand why what Saul did was so wrong. He was watching his soldiers die left and right. So, he did what he knew to do and offered a sacrifice. His men were hiding, scattering, and afraid. What was he supposed to do? Well, that question is answered by Samuel. Saul was supposed to wait. And, because he did not wait in expectant obedience, he was later removed from his position as king. This piece of history cuts me to the core. I have so many dreams that I believe God will make come true. Yet, there are times when I, like Saul, think God is not moving fast enough. Or, I think that there is something I am supposed to be doing rather than be still and wait on Him. So, I try to make things happen. And, let me just tell you, it always ends up being a bad choice to be disobedient; even when the action seems harmless. Samuel very plainly told Saul, “God appointed you and then He made an appointment with you. You did not keep your appointment with God, so He will now appoint someone else. Thanks for playing!” Okay, so maybe those weren’t his exact words, but you get the point. We must ask ourselves, “If God appointed me to do this task, am I keeping my appointment with Him or am I forcing Him to appoint someone else?” When God says, “Wait,” we must wait. When God says, “Move,” we must move. It seems simple, but if you are like me, you have messed it up a time or twenty. So, keep your appointments with God, spend time with Him, learn what He wants from you and then, do it, so He does not have to appoint someone else to complete the task that is meant for you. Ms. EV So, I was watching one of many reality television shows that I tend to watch (don’t judge me), and one of the women, who is a singer/songwriter, but also dabbles in the adult entertainment industry, said, very casually, “I think I want to try a gospel record.” Through the magic of television, by the end of the episode, she had written the song and arranged to have a very high-profile gospel artist sing the song with her. On the next episode, they recorded the song.
Many of you may know that I am not just a blogger, I also write music. I have been writing for many years. As my relationship with Christ has grown, I have been more in tune with how He would have me use this gift. When I started writing, I wrote what I knew would be amazingly popular pop ballads. I would write inspirational music every once in a while. Then, I started writing more Christian, inspirational songs and less pop/R&B songs. One day, my computer crashed and the only songs that I had a hard copy of were the Christian, inspirational songs. For most of this time, my songs were words on a page and a melody in my head. Then, God blessed me with the ability to play chords on the guitar, which led me to where I am now. I have been humbled by the response to my music and the doors that have opened. Nevertheless, when I saw this young lady so casually decide to dabble in the gospel industry, it cut me to the core. How could she accomplish in such a short period of time something that I am so committed to and doing for the right reasons? It just seemed unfair! Then, the voice of reason (my mom--God uses her in this role A LOT!) told me that I cannot look at what happens with other people. I have to keep my eyes on what God is telling me to do. God can use anybody to spread His message. And, guess what, He does not have to get my approval. I just heard a voice saying, “Stay in your lane.” I actually have an affirmation on my mirror that reminds me to stay in my lane because I find myself looking at others and getting frustrated when it is really none of my business. When you are driving, if you stare into the side view mirrors for too long, eventually, you will start drifting into another lane, possibly causing a collision. That is not what God wants. He wants to use each of His children for His glory. All that matters is that His Name is praised and that souls that are lost are being reached. If I am confident that God can and will make a way for my music ministry, then it does not matter what someone else does. Sure, I can make the claim that it upsets me because it seems that she is making a mockery of an industry that I want to break into, but that is God’s business not mine. And, the Bible promises in Galatians that God is not mocked. Either way, we each need to focus on what God has for us, not what He has for others. It will make for a much more peaceful existence. Ms. EV I was on my way to church, and as I drove I noticed a work van in front of me. On the back of the van, it said, “HUSBAND FOR RENT.” My first line of thought was about how that might be nice. Like, if I had a social function to attend, and I could just call someone up and rent him for the night to help avoid all of the awkward “Why are you still single?” stares. My rented husband would have a very detailed background story on how we met, how he swept me off my feet, how he proposed, etc. You know, all of that stuff that people think is their business.
He would make every woman in the place jealous of me because he would be the perfect guy. If figure if I rented him, I must have picked out the perfect one, you know. I didn’t really work out how I would explain his sudden disappearance or why he was never at the house. Or, if I would have to just keep renting him until I really got into a relationship, which could also be very messy. As a matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the whole rent-a-husband thing was a little scandalous, dare I say, escort-ish! When I got closer to the van, I saw the Husband-For-Rent’s tagline, “If he won’t do it, I will!” I quickly realized that this service was for women who already had a husband or a man in their lives (I find that a little discriminatory, by the way). This service is for the women with a honey-do list that is too long for their honey to do. Well, what about me, Harpo?!?! I have a light bulb or two that need changing, a car that needs to be detailed and maintained, trash that needs to be taken to the compactor. I even thought about calling this so-called Husband For Rent and giving him a piece of mind about how he was discriminating against single ladies like me with that tagline. And, furthermore, who are these girlfriends and housewives who would dare bring another man into their home to outshine their current man; just ungrateful, I tell you! As you can tell, I can be a little overdramatic. I realized that I was ungrateful. I had to stop and thank God that I am able to do things like fix my garbage disposal when needed. I also had to thank him that when there is a chore that I cannot manage, I had never had to worry because my family has been there to help. Plus, I had to thank God that I have grown confident enough and content enough in my singleness that I don’t really care about awkward stares and questions in social settings. I don’t need to lie and front about my situation. I am single, I am blessed, and that is it. So, I guess I don’t need the services of a Husband for Rent. I would sure love a maid, though, but that’s a story for another day. Be blessed, Ms. EV For the foreseeable future, Ms. EV's Blog will feature music from Toni LaShaun Music. Today's song is In the Shadow of Your Wings (Psalm 63). I wrote this song after reading the psalm and being inspired by know that we are all protected by an amazing and merciful God. In the Shadow of Your Wings (Psalm 63) © Copyright 2012 Toni L. Wortherly O Lord, You are my God Every morning I’ll seek Your face My soul is desperate for You In this dry and thirsty place I have known Your power and glory I see Your presence in Your sanctuary My soul follows after Thee Your right hand upholds me I will rejoice In the shadow of Your wings You’ve been my help and my strength My mouth will praise with joyful lips I will rejoice In the shadow of Your wings Your lovingkindness is To me better than life I will lift my hands in Your Name And praise with all my might When I lay down to sleep I will meditate on Thee My soul follows after Thee Your right hand upholds me I will rejoice In the shadow of Your wings You’ve been my help and my strength My mouth will praise with joyful lips I will rejoice In the shadow of Your wings And those who seek to destroy my soul They will fall by the sword Those who speak lies against my God and King Will be stopped by the Lord But I will cling to Him Trust in Him I will praise I will rejoice My soul follows after Thee Your right hand upholds me I will rejoice In the shadow of Your wings You’ve been my help and my strength My mouth will praise with joyful lips I will rejoice In the shadow of Your wings |
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