A year ago, I was not satisfied with my life. I was feeling like I was wasting my time and my talents. I was feeling unwanted and undesirable. My usual modus operandi was to start whining and complaining in these types of situations. You would think that I would have learned that all that murmuring does is make me feel worse; moreover, it may become contagious to those around me. I didn’t want to be that woman; that daughter, that sister, that aunt, that friend, that teacher, that Christian, who always seemed to live under a dark cloud of sorrow. 

If I had gone to a doctor, I probably would have been diagnosed with depression. I felt like I had let God and my family down. My grandmother, one of my best friends, passed away before she got to meet my forever husband and hold my babies. I wasn’t even close to having a family. I had become the first attorney in my family only to give it all up to become a teacher, and teaching was not as fulfilling as it was when I started. I had written countless songs that were on my computer until it crashed, but no one had heard them and all that was left was one hard copy of the lyrics. I wrote a book and I had boxes of copies sitting in my garage collecting dust. I started writing another book, sent out queries to publishers, but had gotten rejection after rejection. “If I wasn’t to be a wife, a mother, lawyer, a teacher, a writer or a singer,” I wondered, “Why am I even here?”

Then, God placed an idea in my spirit. He chided, “You can do and be whatever you desire to be. Why are you waiting for someone else to approve of you when you have My approval. Share your gifts in whatever way you can and I will take care of the rest.” So, I started writing down everything with which I had been gifted and what I wanted to do with each of those gifts. After some research and planning, I decided to build a web presence that encompassed all of my passions. I love event planning and coordinating. I love baking desserts. I love sharing my testimony through writing. But, I needed a name. I need a name that would help others understand what drives me. I needed a little bit of anonymity, so that people would not be quick to turn a deaf ear; a name that commanded attention.

I have often been told that I have high standards, which applies to every facet of my life, not just dating. I embrace the fact that I have higher standards than many. Settling is unacceptable! I looked at synonyms for higher standards and came up with Elevated Values. I filled out the paperwork to make the name mine (the law degree comes in handy) and on January 17, 2012 (my birthday), I launched the site and its accompanying Facebook presence.

I am so glad that I serve a God who loves me enough to take me to task when I start whining. Since its inception, Elevated Values has coordinated a wedding, a surprise congratulatory party and a banquet. Through its consulting services, Elevated Values has edited a book and created a website for a minister and has been credited by a customer for helping her get her dream job by editing her resumé. The music on the Elevated Values site became so popular that it now has its own site, Toni LaShaun Music. The Pray While You’re Prey weekly devotions for Christian singles were launched in July and draw hundreds of readers to the site daily. The number of subscribers to the devotions has doubled in the past month. And, last, but certainly not least, this blog, Ms. EV’s blog has not only helped me work through issues and spiritual battles, but I have gotten countless comments, e-mails, and Facebook messages about how my writing has touched people in places I could have never dreamed of reaching! Isn’t God AMAZING?!?!?!

So, I want to thank all of the customers, subscribers, fans and followers of Elevated Values Consulting and Coordinating. This is just the beginning; God is on the move! Ms. EV

Well, since I talked about driving yesterday, I may as well stick with that theme today. There are a lot of lessons to be learned while you are driving. For example, my mom and I were headed out the other day and I was driving. We had to make a left turn out of her neighborhood. This left turn is not an easy turn to make because it seems that traffic is always flowing steadily past the neighborhood, leaving little to no room to get on to the main road. As we approached the exit of the neighborhood, my phone beeped, so when I got to the stop sign, I checked to see who it was and if I needed to return the message while I was safely stopped. The only issue was that when I looked down at my phone, I did not realize that the coast was clear to make that left turn, and, by the time I looked up, there were cars everywhere. My mom looked at me and said, “You missed your opportunity.”

We sat at the stop sign for what seemed to be a very long time, but were probably about five more minutes, waiting until the coast was clear again for a left turn. And, though we reached our destination in plenty of time, my mom’s words were stuck in my head, “You missed your opportunity.” This time, I missed it because I was distracted by my phone. But, because I only live a few minutes away from my parents’ house, there are many times when I am sitting at that intersection, needing to make that left turn, and I miss the chance to make it for another reason, like the fact that I am afraid of making left turns that are not at a light. So, it got me thinking, “How many times do we miss opportunities because we are too preoccupied or too petrified to see our opening?”

These missed opportunities can occur in our dreams and goals, our relationships, and in sharing Christ. I once heard my pastor say, “Whatever breaks your focus becomes your master.” We can be on a path to greatness, but if we allow distractions into our lives, they can cause us to miss opportunities. Distractions come in many forms. Our thoughts can be distracting, which is why the Bible tells us to take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). I don’t know about anyone else, but I know that my mind is capable of coming up with all sorts of scenarios that are much worse than anything that would ever really happen. And, when I give in to those thoughts of self-pity, self-doubt, self-centeredness (notice a theme here), it does not take long before I have talked myself out of pursuing a dream or goal. Other people can be distracting. Either we focus on what others are doing and become envious of their successes, rather than being steadfast on the path that God has given us or we become so focused on other people’s issues that we stop pursuing on the dreams God has placed in our hearts. Sometimes, we are too focused on what others are telling us we should do instead of listening to God’s voice alone. The minute we take our eyes off of the end goal because of negative thoughts or negative interactions with people, we miss our opportunity.

Fear is another reason we miss our opportunities. Fear is only as powerful as we allow it to be. I have missed plenty of opportunities because of fear. Looking back, as a child of God, fear has no place in my life because it is not something that God intends for His children to have (2 Timothy 1:7). When I was engaged to my ex-husband, my mom, who was and is much wiser than I am, implored me to reconsider my decision. Rather than listen to her and take that opportunity to take control of my destiny, I let fear rule. I feared that if I did not get married then, I would never get married. At that point in my life, being single forever was a fate worse than death and I could not allow that to happen. Though my marriage was short-lived, I stayed married longer than I should have because I feared what others might say or think about me. I let fear win and I missed the chance to go to law school a year earlier, and to have the entire experience as an unmarried person. I am positive that I missed some opportunities to build friendships and fully engage in my learning experience during that time because of a decision based on fear.

Are there times when you have realized that you missed your opportunity? I recently had someone with whom I wanted to be in a relationship a long time ago make a comment about missing his chance with me. But, it is not just about relationships. How many times do we miss the chance to use our gifts because we are distracted? How many times do we miss the opportunity to pray for someone or tell someone about Christ because we are afraid of being dubbed a “Jesus freak?” We have to pay closer attention to God’s urging and make that turn when the coast is clear; knowing that He is not going to cause us to turn too quickly and get into an accident. However, when we miss the opportunity, He will let us sit and wait and think about it. The good news is that God is a loving God, and whatever He has for you is for you. So, even though I missed my first opportunity, I eventually made the left turn and reached my destination. In the same way, God will allow us to get to the prize that He has for us, if we will stay focused and fearless. Ms. EV

I truly believe that God places dreams within each of us, so that we can fulfill His purpose for our lives. What we do with our God-given dreams is up to us. But know, you were created for a purpose. We can turn the dream into ministry and reach to seek the lost. Or, we can devote our time to making the dream profitable. Is it possible to do both? Well, the Bible says that we cannot serve two masters. Still, I have faith that if I submit to God’s Will for my life and use the dreams He has placed in me for the building of His Kingdom and to glorify His Name, I will have riches untold. Those riches may be spiritual, material or both. And, whatever He provides will be enough and more than enough.

I have had several dreams. Some have always been present in my life; some have been present for a season. Some have been used to honor God, but honestly, most times, I got swept up in how the dream to uplift me. I have realized, the hard way, that God’s purpose for my life is for others to see Him through me and to feel His love through my love. All the good deeds and good intentions in the world are worthless if I am not seeking His Kingdom. At times, the dreams placed in our hearts may seem strange or even risky, but God knows what He is doing and He knows who He can use. My dream may not fit your life and yours may not fit mine. What God has for me is for me and what He has for you is for you. Once we know the gift He has given us, we must make the choice to live it out for His glory. We must choose to walk it out daily. You may not be able to see what is coming, but if you could, you might not take the leap of faith. So, trust in Him, lean on Him, let Him direct and guide you into the dream He has placed in your heart. Ms. EV