Go with the Flow…what does that even mean? We hear people say it all the time “go with the flow” or “roll with the punches,” but how can we do that? Does it mean that we don’t think about what’s coming next? Are we just supposed let life happen? Should we not plan for tomorrow? I don’t know about you, but I’m just not very good at going with the flow. This is where the power of the Holy Spirit has to come in and rule in our lives.

There is no way that, of my own power, I can stop thinking and analyzing and trying to stop catastrophes (big or small) before they start. I am just not wired that way. But, thank God I don’t have to live this life by my own power. I have the Holy Spirit dwelling within, and right about now, I need some Jesus peace; the kind of peace that passes all understanding (even my own). Because I am tired of being tired. How about you? So, pray for me and I’ll pray for you that the peace of God will cover all of the broken pieces of our lives, so we can roll with the punches and go with the flow. Ms. EV

For the foreseeable future, Ms. EV's Blog will feature music from Toni LaShaun Music. Today's song is Soul Satisfaction. I wrote this song after listening to a sermon by my uncle. I started thinking about how I had often looked to everything and everyone else for satisfaction, rather than turning to God. I have not recorded the song yet, but I plan to feature it on my upcoming CD because it is a great testimony of my journey as I fell in love with Jesus. These are the lyrics:

Soul Satisfaction
Copyright © 2012 Toni Wortherly

Come to the Water that won’t run dry
Drink in all His love; it will satisfy
If you’re thirsting and yearning from deep within
If you go through the motions feeling unfulfilled
Come and Drink
Come and Drink Him In

He is the sole satisfaction for the soul
He can take all your broken pieces and make them whole
There’s no greater peace, no greater joy, 
No greater love to find
God alone will meet your needs
He satisfies…
He satisfies

Come get your fill of the Living Bread
Those who dine at His table will leave well-fed
If you’re starving and weary, in Him, you can rest
Accept His invitation and receive His best
Come and Dine
Come and Dine with Him

He is the sole satisfaction for the soul
He can take all your broken pieces and make them whole
There’s no greater peace, no greater joy,
No greater love to find
God alone will meet your needs
He satisfies…
He satisfies

Oh Lord, You alone will satisfy...
Oh Lord, You alone will satisfy me

He is the sole satisfaction for the soul
He can take all your broken pieces and make them whole
There’s no greater peace, no greater joy, 
No greater love to find
God alone will meet your needs
He satisfies…
He satisfies

I love my day job. I absolutely am giddy about the ability to impart knowledge and wisdom into the minds and hearts of our youth. This was not always the career that I envisioned for myself. My teenage self thought that I would either own my own law firm or be a partner in a law firm at thirty-five. I would be a wife and a mother of pre-teenagers. I would be in a completely different place if my teenage self was correct. I gave up practicing law after a short time and I started teaching. I got a divorce and I am not even dating anyone, so, clearly, that was not meant to be my reality.

Even though I am content with my job and my relationship status, there are times when I come face-to-face with completely unfair situations. Despite my best efforts to do my job as unto Christ, and despite the respect that I have from my colleagues and my supervisors, there are still times when I am attacked. The worst is when it is seemingly for no apparent reason. So, here is what I have learned about life from Joseph and Paul.

Like Joseph, I told everyone who would listen about my dream to become an attorney, a wife, and a mother. Though, I was not tossed in a pit by my brothers, I somewhat created my own pit of pressure to live up to this ideal life that I had bragged about before it ever happened. That led to a divorce, depression, and disillusion with my chosen career. So, I changed into what seemed to be career that fit my personality, but that I knew was not my forever job. Even though, I know how to do my job, there are still times when unfair accusations are hurled my way, leading me to feel like I am in prison, where Joseph found himself after false accusations by Potiphar’s wife.

So, here is where the lesson from Paul comes in because Paul shows everyone how to react to being imprisoned. Paul teaches us, first of all, that many times, you can be punished even when you have done nothing wrong. However, that punishment should not paralyze you, you should instead use it as a platform to continue to show the love, grace and mercy of Christ. We should not seek revenge against those who persecute us, but we should seek to reveal Christ in every situation. Though Paul was in prison, he didn’t throw a pity party; he continued to pray, praise and preach the gospel of Christ. And, when we feel trapped, imprisoned by the snares set up by the enemy, we must not sit idle; we must continue to move in God’s direction in the best way we can until He delivers us from the situation. This leads me back to Joseph.

As my pastor has preached, Joseph went from the pit to prison to the palace. So, we must be confident that there is a better place for us; God has a plan for us. The person, place or thing that has you feeling imprisoned will not be the end of you, unless you let them. Just like Joseph said in Genesis 50:20, they mean it for evil, but God can use it for good. So, if you are feeling trapped, keep praying, praising, and preaching like Paul, and watch God move you from your pit and your prison to a palace like Joseph. Ms. EV

I was on my way to church, and as I drove I noticed a work van in front of me. On the back of the van, it said, “HUSBAND FOR RENT.” My first line of thought was about how that might be nice. Like, if I had a social function to attend, and I could just call someone up and rent him for the night to help avoid all of the awkward “Why are you still single?” stares. My rented husband would have a very detailed background story on how we met, how he swept me off my feet, how he proposed, etc. You know, all of that stuff that people think is their business.

He would make every woman in the place jealous of me because he would be the perfect guy. If figure if I rented him, I must have picked out the perfect one, you know. I didn’t really work out how I would explain his sudden disappearance or why he was never at the house. Or, if I would have to just keep renting him until I really got into a relationship, which could also be very messy. As a matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the whole rent-a-husband thing was a little scandalous, dare I say, escort-ish!

When I got closer to the van, I saw the Husband-For-Rent’s tagline, “If he won’t do it, I will!” I quickly realized that this service was for women who already had a husband or a man in their lives (I find that a little discriminatory, by the way). This service is for the women with a honey-do list that is too long for their honey to do. Well, what about me, Harpo?!?! I have a light bulb or two that need changing, a car that needs to be detailed and maintained, trash that needs to be taken to the compactor. I even thought about calling this so-called Husband For Rent and giving him a piece of mind about how he was discriminating against single ladies like me with that tagline. And, furthermore, who are these girlfriends and housewives who would dare bring another man into their home to outshine their current man; just ungrateful, I tell you!

As you can tell, I can be a little overdramatic. I realized that I was ungrateful. I had to stop and thank God that I am able to do things like fix my garbage disposal when needed. I also had to thank him that when there is a chore that I cannot manage, I had never had to worry because my family has been there to help. Plus, I had to thank God that I have grown confident enough and content enough in my singleness that I don’t really care about awkward stares and questions in social settings. I don’t need to lie and front about my situation. I am single, I am blessed, and that is it. So, I guess I don’t need the services of a Husband for Rent. I would sure love a maid, though, but that’s a story for another day. Be blessed, Ms. EV

In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God.  S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day)  let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days:


Supported IN God’s Lifting Encouragement – Jeremiah 29:11
At this point, I probably sound like I am all gumdrops and candy canes with a sickeningly sweet disposition all the time. This is just not the case. In fact, most people who know me would cackle at that very idea. I am a real person, not a God-robot. I have good days and bad days. I have ups and downs. Just because I can be content with being single does not mean that it does not bother me at times. I do not like being the odd-numbered wheel when I’m out with friends, but I have friends. I do not enjoy taking out the trash or maintaining my own car, but I can. And, when those things bother me, I am encouraged to know that God has a plan for my life. He does not want me to fail. I am a vessel for God’s glory, so my failure would not be a good testimony. God’s plans are not my plans. They are better plans; in fact, they are the best plans for my life. When I reflect upon that thought, I am lifted and encouraged, knowing that I am supported by God.

Satisfied IN Giving the Lord my Energy – Psalm 37:4
God is a jealous God. I have read the entire Bible and one of the things that shouts out loud and clear is that God wants to be my focus. He wants my heart, my mind, my soul and my time. At first glance, that might sound overly-possessive, but I am His creation. The earth and everything in it belongs to Him, so He should be my first priority in life. That does not mean that I cannot love another person, or my family, my job or my church, but I cannot put any of those things before my God. I need to be satisfied with Him alone. Once, I am satisfied with Him, everything that He adds to my life is just icing on the cake. Ms. EV

In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God.  S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day)  let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days:

Sustained IN God’s Liberating Embrace –
Liberated from Control – Have you ever tried to control every situation and person in your life? I have. And, I did it with the best of intentions because outside of God’s way, I consider my way of handling life to be the next best thing. Honestly, if more people would listen to my advice and more situations would work out my way, the world would be a better place. I only want what is best for everyone (especially me), but alas, being right all the time can be exhausting. Even worse, realizing that no matter how right you are (or think you are) that people are going to do what they feel like doing can be heartbreaking. So, I have decided to leave the whole “control” thing up to the Expert. Ecclesiastes 7:13-14 says, “Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked? Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life.”

It’s not that I’m going to walk around like some mindless zombie everyday and just let life happen to me, but I am going to do my best to live everyday in God’s will. I am going to let Him handle all of the people and circumstances of my life. I am surrendering. I am throwing in the towel. God has shown me that if I give every area of my life to Him, He will take care of me.  Matthew 6:33 states, “But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Everything that I need is provided to me by God. Yes, I go to work, but God provided me with that job and with the common sense to budget my money well. But God also provides me with the intangibles like peace and joy, even in times when it seems I should have none.

I have learned, often the hard way, to give up control, because those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength, soar on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, and walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31. The Bible promises me that. And, my lack of control is liberating. I no longer feel like a victim if I face a setback. Instead, I know that God is setting me up for a comeback.  I longer have to feel crushed when others people do not follow my instructions because it’s not me they are sinning against, it is God. What does any of this have to do with being single? Well, for me, God has shown me how liberating giving up control can be because I have tried to manipulate every man that I have ever been involved with and every relationship I have ever had to make things go my way. I am writing a book on being single forever, so you can see how well that has worked out for me. Giving up control to God while single or in a relationship is freeing. He says, Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. So, if I am following God’s will, then I know that I am in the situation that is best for me at this point in my life. It probably will not work out the way I would have worked it out, but thank God for that.

Liberated by Communication and Correction – Why aren’t we all robots? We could be robots and God could have his master controller to make us do whatever He wants us to do. If we would just follow His instruction, there would be no sickness, no pain, no murder, no divorce, no abuse, no war, and the list goes on and on. It would be a perfect world. I personally desire this sometimes. Rather than watch me make mistakes, I wish God would just not allow me to venture outside of His will. That is not how God works though. God is a loving Father, not a maniacal overlord. For those of us who are His children, He communicates His will, not His suggestion, but His will, a.k.a. the right way to live our lives. Then, when we make a mistake, He allows us to experience the consequences, but He does not cut us off. He still embraces us and if we repent, He forgives us every time. So why does it sometimes feel like I am hemmed up by all of my past mistakes? Aren’t my mistakes in relationships and dating the reason I am single now?

I honestly do not know why I am single, but I do know that God loves me and would not use my singleness to remind me of every mistake I have ever made. He does not have to do that because I am so adept at beating myself up and placing myself in emotional bondage. Forgiveness of sin is not a license to continue to sin, but the Bible says, “… where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” 2 Corinthians 3:17. So, as a saved woman, I know that the Spirit dwells within me and He brings liberty and freedom into my life. God gives us the Holy Spirit to illuminate His Word and show us the right path, but He also gives us the freedom to choose to take that path.

It feels much better to know that I chose to take the correct path, rather than being forced to take the correct path, but there is also liberty if I choose the wrong path. The shed blood of Jesus guarantees me freedom from sin; it does not mean I will not sin, but that once my sin is forgiven, I am not in bondage to sin. The bondage, the guilt, and the shame are of my own doing. However, God’s loving communication through the Holy Spirit corrects me and gives me the liberty and the freedom to make the right choices in similar situation and learn from past mistakes.

Liberated in my Current Circumstance – Why are you still single? When are you getting married? Don’t you think you should start a family soon? I am often in awe of what some people assume is there business. My single status, for example, seems to fascinate and intrigue people. “Don’t you want to get married,” they say. I have come up with several clever retorts to these statements.

• Of course, I want to get married, but the state psychiatric hospital won’t clear me for that level of human interaction.
• I can’t seem to meet someone because they only let me out of the watchtower for work and church.
• Every time I meet someone, they can’t seem to get over the fact that I turn into a wildebeest after midnight.
  

Of course my mother does not let me use any of these replies, but I do have a standard, acceptable answer that I find to be true: “God has not sent me a husband yet.” And, it really is just that simple. I have learned, after several attempts at “independence,” that God’s way is truly the best way. I have also learned that when I trust Him with any circumstance, He works it into something beyond my wildest imagination.

So, I am waiting on God. I believe that I am right where God desires for me to be right now. And, I have peace about it. Isaiah says, “You will keep in perfect peace [her] whose mind is steadfast, because [she] trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3. God is far more trustworthy than I am, so if He has not changed my circumstance it is because His will for my life in this moment is that I am single.

There was a time in my life, not so long ago, that when someone asked the aforementioned questions, I would break down and cry. I felt that people were just trying to be cruel and I couldn’t understand why God, who I know loves me, would allow such inconsiderate discourse. Did people really believe that it was acceptable to pry into my personal life like this? Did people really feel that it was not rude or inconsiderate to treat me like a second-class citizen? I am a smart, attractive woman and if I wanted to marry anyone, I could, but I’ve been there and done that and I have the divorce decree to prove it. I do not just desire to be married. I desire to live the life that God wills and desires for me to have.

One day, a woman said to me, “So, now that you have a cat, does that make you an old maid?” I laughed. My mom heard the comment and was braced for a full-blown breakdown, which I was entitled to, but there was no such reaction. I just laughed and left the room. I did pray that the woman would realize that her comment was not appropriate, but I knew that she meant no harm. And, just like that, I had peace about my circumstance. Now, when people ask me about my non-marital status, I do not cry or pout or leave the room. I have been set free from the chains of societal expectations. The only expectations that matter are those that God has for me.

Liberated through Contentment – If I truly believe that God is who He says He is, how can I not accept where I know He has placed me? This is my life right now.  This may be my life forever. A single woman with people constantly looking at me with their scrutinizing eyes trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Why wouldn’t others do that? I do it. I have spent so much of my life trying to change who I am to make a relationship work. I often called “bettering myself.” For what? Or rather, for who? I became so caught up in trying to be the person that I thought everyone else in my life wanted me to be that, at a certain point, I had no idea who I was. The only one worth changing for is God. That is the only relationship I need to concern myself with perfecting. Knowing that as I press into Him and seek to be more like Him, He will take care of my every need is liberating.

I can just live my life, whatever that happens to consist of, at any given moment and trust that God will take care of me. In doing so, I bring Him glory. Complaining doesn’t bring Him glory, nor does it make me feel any better, but contentment with faith and trust that I am God’s heir and He has my best interests in mind is pleasing to Him and encouraging to others. “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36. I am free. I am free from control, free by corrective communication, free in my circumstances, and free through contentment because I am Sustained IN God’s Liberating Embrace. Ms. EV

On Christmas day, my dad asked me if I bought a present for Joy Bella. I did not. At first, I felt a little guilty, but I went on to explain that the first couple of years, I did buy her new toys and my friends would get her little things, and then, I noticed that she did not really play with them. Joy, that’s my cat if you haven’t been reading, has a couple of favorite toys, but her favorite things are string, boxes, and Styrofoam; none of which need to be bought from a store.

So, Christmas afternoon, my niece came to my house and helped me finish making desserts for dinner. We were getting ready to go to my aunt’s house, and my niece took her new boots out of a shoebox, left it in the middle of the floor and got dressed. When we came back in the room, Joy was inside the shoebox. I told my niece that Joy liked her new present and she could not have the shoebox back. She tried to get Joy to get out of the shoebox and I tried to find another box for Joy, but she would not budge. My niece soon realized how much Joy enjoyed playing in and laying in the shoebox, so she left it at my house. When I got home from my aunt’s house, I found Joy in the shoebox. Then, after she came back from getting her shots, she climbed into her shoebox. It is the cutest thing. Something so simple and inexpensive brings my little feline buddy such, well, joy!

As I watched her play with the shoebox and chill in the shoebox, I realized that my cat was teaching me an important lesson. We need to learn to be content with the simple things in life. We need to make the most of what we have. More extravagance and luxury is not going to bring more happiness. True joy comes from within. It comes from knowing who you are in God and that He has a plan for your life. Once you realize that, you can enjoy the places you go, the people around you and the things that you do possess. Ms. EV