I realized last night, after having a bit of an emotional break, that I really need to focus on not disliking the holiday season. As a Christian, this should be a joyous time of celebration. However, when the twenty-fifth commercial about a man buying his wife or girlfriend jewelry came on while I was trying to watch football, I had had ENOUGH! I exclaimed, "I can't wait until January 1st!" To which my niece replied, "Why?" I retorted, "Because then I won't have to see these stupid commercials anymore! It's like we went straight from political ads to jewelry campaign! Okay...you love her...we get it!" Like, I said, emotional break.

You see, every year right around Thanksgiving, I start to really feel the sadness of singleness. I have a great family, but it seems that everyone in my family who desires to be in a relationship is in a relationship and/or they have children on whom to focus their attention. And, every year, I tell myself that it could be worse. I could be dealing with illness or loss or some terrible tragedy and I am really blessed. But, there is something about the lack of sunlight and the addition of holiday stuff that pushes me into a holiday depression.

For me, my goal every year is to make it from the end of November to February 15th without completely breaking down or losing my mind. Because right after Christmas, there is New Years Eve, three weeks later there is my birthday, and then, Valentines Day. Talk about rapid succession lonely times. I am surrounded by people and most, if not all of them, are loving and caring. Yet, this is still a time when I struggle. No matter how many people are around, I don't have MY person or MY children. And, at the end of the day on these special occasions, I leave alone. And, I know God is with me. Trust me, I remind myself of that all of the time. I would love to be the person that can say that the fact that God is everpresent is comforting to me in these times, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that being lonely on the holidays, not having a special someone, kind of sucks.

So, what do the lonely do at Christmas? Well, I have found in recent years that if I focus on others and bringing them joy, it generally brings a smile to my face. If I don't think of it as a holiday, but celebrate Christ and the season of giving, it brings some comfort. Still, waking up and opening presents with my cat on Christmas morning is kind of saddening, but I focus on the fact that I did wake up and that my cat is healthy and she knows how to wipe any tears I may shed. Nevertheless, everytime I make it through this season, it is a blessing because there are so many who lack any kind of comfort and just cannot deal with the loneliness, so I thank God for that. Ms. EV