In teaching my students about bureaucracies, I asked them if they liked to work in groups. I went on to tell them that, even though, most colleges and jobs assign you to work with groups, that it is very difficult for me to work with other people. I often joke that my kindergarten report card had all E's (for excellent), but the only comment was, "Does not work well with others." For a long time, I thought it was a character flaw. As I grew older, I realized that I am a perfectionist (read, I have OCD with certain things) and I am an introvert. So, it is very difficult for me to delegate or even ask anyone for help.
Fast forward to my current life, in which, I constantly find myself in situations where I have to work with other people. God knows how to make you grow, even when you are perfectly comfortable with your quirkiness. It is still not easy for me to ask for help, though, so it only happens when I really truly cannot complete something on my own. Besides my slight case of OCD and introvertedness, I also do not like rejection. I am still learning how to deal with it. Recently, I asked a group of friends to help me with a venture. Some responded favorably and have been an amazing amount of help. Others ignored me completely. At first, I was hurt. I was especially hurt by those that I had gone out of my way to help. But then, on Sunday, my pastor preached about God opening and closing doors. I realized that it wsa okay that people did not want to help or support me in my endeavors because God has placed the exact, right people. I realized that it does not mean that these people do not care about me or my success, but that God knows who to use to help me and who would be a distraction. God knows who would be my Peter, and who would be my James and John (please look it up, if you don't know what this means). A couple of days after the sermon, I was watching a tv show and there was a person singing one of my favorite songs, "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt. I just started singing the chorus over and over. It was a reminder. Those who are going to be in my corner are going to be there. Those who are not, I can't make them want to support me. I can't make them love me or my work. God knows the right people to let in my life at the right time. And, I am thankful that he leaves some people on the other side of the closed door. Trust me, you don't want anyone involved in your endeavors that is going to steal God's glory, whether they mean to or not. So, when God starts having people back away from you, be grateful. He knows what He is doing and He knows what is best for you. That being said, I am so thankful for those who, without being begged, poked or prodded, have continued to support and push me, knowing that it is difficult for me to even ask for suport. Praise God for the closed doors, even when people are involved! Ms. EV
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