I had to repost this today as a reminder to myself to not let people get to me.
I do my best to try to be aware of where my weaknesses are. I know that I am not perfect and that I have shortcomings. Some are obvious and others are less blunt, so I often ask God to show me the areas of my life in which I am failing Him. One of those areas is in dealing with adverse people. Mary Southerland of Girlfriends in God calls them sandpaper people. Don't get me wrong, I am a nice person. I have been told that I am compassionate, genuine, and loving. But, when it comes to the people who seem to exist only to unnerve me, sometimes I fall short in the area of Christian love. I know this is an issue because yesterday I mentioned to my mother that I may need to work on my people skills. I was in a situation where I found myself getting very frustrated with someone who asked me for help, and then, did not want to listen to me when I tried to give help. I have a feeling that my frustration was very obvious because, just like I do not have the ability to hide pain, I also have very little ability to hide the exact emotion I am feeling. Even though I was talking to my mother about the issue, I have a sneaking suspiscion that God overheard our convo (just in case you are wondering, I do realize that God hears everything). This morning, when I got to work I saw a person who not only annoys me, but goes out of his way to annoy me. I would prefer to have this person pretend that I am invisible because everything that comes out of his mouth is obnoxious. I have tried to ignore him. I have even tried, as recently as a few days ago, to be nice to him. But, there he was this morning as I arrived at work, pre-Coke Zero, to make another snide remark. I don't even know what I retorted, but I do know that it was accompanied by the yuck face and a possible eye roll. A couple of hours later I was reading a devotional and it spoke about making peace with people. OUCH!!! "But, I tried, Lord! I was nice to that dude the other day. I even smiled a genuine, not forced, smile. Surely, You can't mean him; he doesn't even recognize when I am trying to be peaceful." Even in the midst of my heart plea, I was wrong. And, I am still not really sure how to fix it. I don't want to brush off the obnoxious comments because I don't want this person to think that it's okay. Ignoring him is not going to fix it. Reacting adversly doesn't fix it either because even though I have had words with this guy and my friends have told him he is a jerk to me, he continues to act foolishly. Though I don't know what to do about this particular person, I am confident that God has the answer and He will guide me to it. Nonetheless, the issue is bigger than this one person. I don't want anyone to view God in a bad light because of how I treat other people, so I have to watch my actions and attitude towards others, especially obnoxious others. I figure if God can put up with the way I act and the things I say, I can learn to love in spite of. It is a process and I am sure I am not the only one who has to deal with those people. One thing is for sure, if you ever start thinking you have it all together and you ask God to point out your flaws, He will make them clear to you. The question then becomes what are you going to do about it. I have a few days to figure that out before I have to deal with this particular person again. But, in general, we have to keep love and peace in the forefront of our hearts and minds because some people are just too willing to let the devil use them to try to trip us up. Don't let the devil win! Ms. EV
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I am a HUGE NFL football fan. I am in love with my team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, even though, they have not been very good for the past several years. I am still loyal. I have season tickets. I watch every away game. I go to training camp and draft parties. I am the Official Fan Reporter for NFLFemale. As the Jaguars’ slogan for this year suggests, I am “ALL IN” when it comes to my team. The Jaguars finished with its worst record in franchise history this season. They won two games and lost fourteen. It was a long season.
Last year, the team that had that record was the Jaguars division rival, Indianapolis Colts. After coming off a 14-2 season, the Colts lost their franchise quarterback for the season, and ended up with the worst record of any NFL team in the 2011 season. Despite the fact that he had led the team to the playoffs the season before, the 2-14 record was enough to get the Colts head coach, Jim Caldwell, fired. So, the Colts started looking for a new head coach. One of the candidates they were pursuing was Chuck Pagano, the defensive coordinator for the Baltimore Ravens. The only issue was that the Ravens were in the playoffs, so the Colts had to wait to interview Coach Pagano. The Ravens made it all the way to the AFC Championship, where they would face the New England Patriots. But, for the Colts, time was running out to find a head coach, as they needed to be sure they had the proper staffing in place. The AFC Championship game was intense. A dropped touchdown down and a missed field goal ended the Ravens season in defeat and they were crushed. However, it meant that the Colts could talk to Chuck Pagano and they ended up hiring him as their new head coach. This past weekend, the Colts faced the Ravens in the first round of the 2012 NFL playoffs. When asked how he felt about the previous year’s defeat in the AFC Championship, Coach Pagano talked about how tough that loss was to swallow, but he went on to say that had it not been for that loss, he would not have been able to become the head coach of the Colts. His words really spoke to me. Sometimes, we focus so hard on the losses that we do not realize that they can be worked out for our good. If you don’t follow football, there are many examples in the Bible of much more devastating losses than a football game. Think of Job losing all of his family, finances, and fitness. Think of Joseph being thrown in a pit, and then, going to prison. Even though they lost and they had major disappointments, in the end, they gained so much more because God was with them and they were faithful. Now, if you know the story of Coach Pagano, you may know that he was diagnosed with cancer this season. You may ask how someone could consider that a victory. Well, for Coach Pagano, it did turn out to be a victory. With his family, his team and his community’s support, he went through grueling treatments for his cancer and he beat it. He never gave up. He hung in there and he inspired many people along the way. Sometimes, we have to lose so we can win. I’m not going to sit here and write that it doesn’t hurt or that it doesn’t suck. But, when we consider that everything is in God’s control and He has the ability to work every loss into a win, it is hard to stay bitter or discouraged. This year, when Coach Pagano came back to coach his team in the playoffs, he had a completely different perspective when they lost. And, we have to learn how to use our losses, our obstacles, our setbacks as stepping stones. God uses the losses to get us to the wins if we will submit to His will and let Him work, the losses in life help us prepare for the battles we are meant to win. They make us stronger, smarter, and more serious, so that we can be victorious! Ms. EV "...and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need.My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become." 2 corinthians 12:8-10 (The Message)
Different people have different ways of dealing with problems. When I was younger, I was prone to worry, but I learned in my late twenties that, as Dr. Phil says, "Worry is like rocking in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." Incidentally, Dr. Phil also says this about guilt and a couple of other things, but I digress. I have always admired how several people very close to me seem to never worry about problems. They seem to take adversity in stride with a smile on their faces and a song in their hearts. Then, there are others who skip straight past worry into all out panic. They scratch and claw desperately for a solution to the issue. Now, instead of worrying, I tend to ignore the problem, hoping that it will just go away. I do not recommend this particular coping mechanism. What I have found lately is that when I ignore a looming or lingering issue, it tends to sneak up and consume my thoughts when I least expect it. This happened to me just yesterday. I was getting ready to enjoy my day off when suddenly, I became paralyzed by fear and worry. I didn't utter a word. I couldn't utter a word. But, in my heart, I said, "Lord, I cannot do this. I do not know how to make it through this time. What am I supposed to do?" I felt completely helpless. I had this sudden feelings that all of my best efforts to be obedient were still not enough to get me out of a situation that I had hoped would just go away or be miraculously resolved. And, then, I gave up. I gave up trying to make things work out and just said, "Lord, you have to fix this because I can't." Later in the day, I received two blessings that directly related to my problem. No one knew what the problem was, but God. I knew I had reached my limit. I had taken all I could take and I had done all I could do. And, I believe that God was glad that I came to that revelation, so that I could get out of His way and let Him show me how much He loves me. And, He did. Not that He didn't already show it when He sacrificed His only Son, but He continues to show us in our daily lives, that He loves us. He is strong enough to take care of our every need. His grace is sufficient. If we would learn that it's alright to be weak and limited because our God is strong and limitless, imagine the miracles He could work in and through our lives. Ms. EV Anyone who knows me knows I hate confrontation. That is the main reason that I am no longer an attorney. I know how to stand up for myself, but there are still some situations in which I feel uncomfortable. When I was practiicing law, every single time I walked into the courthouse, my stomach would tighten, I would start sweating and I would get nauseous. This was just at the thought of having to argue with others, especially with so much on the line. So, in my daily life, other than meaningless banter with family and close friends, I try to avoid confrontation at all costs.
Recently, at work, I had a situation where I believed that I was being judged unfairly. I tried to defend myself with the person without seeming overly sensitive. However, the end result was unchanged. This situation bothered me for the entire weekend. I commiserated with a couple of close friends, but that did not make me feel better. I tried to decide if I would follow the advice of my friends and confront the person, but it just never felt right. Then, today, someone for whom I have great respect that had listened to the situation comforted me, which made me feel a littlee less crazy, and told me that he was willing to advocate for me if that is what I decide I need. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I was thinking that I had taken a huge step backwards because I have grown to be able to advocate for myself, but in this situation, I just wanted someone to stand up for me. God knew that and he sent me someone to watch over me. I think sometimes we overlook moments like these when God lets us know that he is listening to our heart cries. I never told this person that I needed his help. I simply vented to him knowing that he is not the type to share personal information. But, he said that he was so bothered by the situation that he felt compelled to help. And, I for one am appreciative. God surrounds us, His beloved, with people who can help us. While there are times, when we need to take a stand on our own, there are also times when we need to have the humility to allow God to let someone else help us. I am grateful that my eyes were open and my heart was receptive to the help that I know was sent by God. Ms. EV I went to a homeowners' meeting last night for my condo association. All I wanted to know was if we were switching cable companies and how to get whichever neighbor is running a nightclub in their house to turn their bass down. I did not expect to hear that there is structural damage to all or most of our buildings due to shotty construction. I also did not expect to hear that our already outrageously high association dues might have to go up to cover the costs of some of the necessary repairs. And I didn't expect to hear that I would not be able to sell my condo any time soon. The new board blamed the old board. The old board members shot back at them. There was quite a ruckus. It was not at all what I expected. There literally was no good news at this meeting.
Aside from thinking, "Now there's an hour and a half that I will never get back," I was also grateful that the God I serve is awesome. Even in the midst of such negativity, I left with a grin on my face because I am confident, that no matter what happens, God is on my side. I believe that He will keep me safe. I believe that He will either make it unnecessary for me to think about selling my place or make it possible for it to be sold or rented out if, for whatever reason (prayerfully marriage), I have to move out of my home. I have faith that if the dues go up, God will provide me with additional income to cover it or more wisdom over my current income to cover it. The bottom line is that, although sometimes we are hit with bad or unexpected news and it may seem that others are constantly approaching us with doom and gloom scenarios, nothing is suprising to God. We may be unprepared for what we face, but He is never unprepared. Our job is to have faith that He will come through for us in our time of need. Even if it gets to the, "Lord, if You had been here..." stage like it did with Martha and Mary, we have to know that God can work miracles, even when it seems all hope is lost. I know it's easy for me to say this because my issue, this time, was pretty benign, but we must have this faith even in the face of broken relationships, financial crises, bad health diagnoses, and spiritual turmoil. When I want to see one of God's greatest miracles, I don't need to flip through the pages of the Bible to find it; all I have to do is look in the mirror. I am living proof everyday that God is a miracle worker. So, don't let doom and gloom hinder your faith. Others may panic thinking that the sky is falling, but if the heavens are in fact coming down, that will just bring us closer to God. In the face of doom and gloom, remember that God is dependable and glorious! Ms. EV Can God brag on you? Are you sure you would want Him to? If we look at the book of Job, it should challenge us to ponder whether God could confidently tell Satan to try us and see if we would turn away from God. I think if most of us are honest, f course, we want God to be proud of us, proud enough to tell anyone about us. But, if you read the story of Job and see the pain, grief, suffering and loss he went through, how many could still say, "Sure, God can brag about me."?
Job lost his means of income and still didn't turn from God. We might curse someone out (occasionally using God's name to do it) if we're just having a bad day at work. Jo lost all of his children, and he grieved, but did not speak ill of God. When we lose a loved one, or a loved one is sick, some of us will stop going to church or stop praying because we feel that God has let us down. Job got boils all over his body, and still trusted God. Some of us stub our toe and let it ruin our day. Or, if we get a bad diagnosis, we think God has abandoned us instead of asking Him how we can use our situation to bless Him and to bless others. So, could God brag on you? Could he take His hands off? Could you pass the tests of adversity and still praise God? Or, would Satan not even bother to mess with you because you're already his? Ms. EV As I was scrolling through Facebook statuses, I saw that one friend posted about pushing through adversity. Then, a few hours later, I noticed some posts from my oldest nephew about being disappointed and working harder, essentially pushing through rather than giving up. Though, I don’t know the situation my friend referred to and I do know the situation that my nephew referred to, both messages were inspiring. When, I combine that with the last few chapters of Acts that I have been reading and look at Paul’s perseverance through persecution, I am motivated to push through rather than lay down (even though laying down seems so much easier to do right now).
Many times in life we work very hard towards a goal and are then met with some sort of adversity. For example, I have been writing music for about eighteen years. This past summer, I decided, after a lot of pushing and prodding by others and prayers, to record some of my original music and make my first single available for sale online. I had gotten so much positive feedback about the message, the quality of my voice and the gifts that God with which God has blessed me, so I expected that “Worth Dying For” would touch hearts worldwide. I also expected that I would be able to raise the money to complete my debut CD. And, I had hoped that it would open doors for me to write music for other artists or have the opportunity to pay back my parents and record more music. Well, my Kickstarter project was not successful and I figured that it just was not the route that God had designed for me with my music. Then, when I got my first sales report two months after “Worth Dying For” was released internationally for sale through Amazon and iTunes, I discovered that ten copies of the song had been purchased (and I knew who had purchased four of the ten). No, that was not a typo…ten copies. I was crushed. Once again, I felt like I had listened to God’s prompting to go after my dream, yet the result felt like I had failed again. So, I decided to take a step back and just wait for God to show me what to do next. I am still in that waiting place and every day has not been pretty, but days like today, when communicates to me in so many ways and through so many people, I know that He is looking out for me and that He has my best interests in mind. Through my friend, God has assured me that I am not alone in facing adversity and that I need to keep pressing through it. Through my nephew, God has taught me to evaluate what I am doing and step up my game. I need to continue to work hard, but still have fun and just expect God’s best for me. Through Paul in Acts, God is teaching me that though I may face trials, though I may feel trapped or held captive, there is a purpose and a plan behind every trial. I am not giving up, but I am looking up…to the God with whom anything is possible. Ms. EV |
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