Friday FUSION features music from me, singer/songwriter, Toni LaShaun Wortherly. Today's feature is lyrics only, as it will be recorded at a later date, but it sums up the experiences I have had while chasing after my dreams. The song is called FEARLESS! I wrote this song, as I do most of my songs in response to a sermon. I have spent much of my life letting fear of the unknown dictate what I do and how I do it. After hearing the sermon, I thought about how God is the ULTIMATE protector, provider and comforter, so I have nothing to fear, not even fear itself!

Fearless
Copyright © 2013 Toni L. Wortherly

God has not given me
The spirit of fear
I don’t need to be concerned
About what man does to me
I may have some troubled times
I may shed some tears
But, I can look any storm in the eye and say:

I am FEARLESS
God is on my side
I am FEARLESS
In Him, I will abide
I am FEARLESS
Knowing God is in control
I am FEARLESS
No one can harm my soul
I’m FEARLESS
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh…I’m FEARLESS
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh…I’m FEARLESS

In God I trust
And I will not be afraid
To take a step forward
To leap out on faith
I may not understand
The path to my dreams
But, I can look any storm in the eye and say:

I am FEARLESS
God is on my side
I am FEARLESS
In Him, I will abide
I am FEARLESS
Knowing God is in control
I am FEARLESS
No one can harm my soul
I’m FEARLESS
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh…I’m FEARLESS
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh…I’m FEARLESS

With God as my light, whom shall I fear?
With God as my strength, whom shall I fear?

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh…I’m FEARLESS
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh…I’m FEARLESS

God is not man, one given to lies, and not a son of man changing his mind. Does he speak and not do what he says? Does he promise and not come through? Numbers 23:19 (MSG)

For much of my life, I was known as a worry wart. Not the kind of worrying normal people do, but I had a paralyzing sense of fear over the smallest details. In my mind, little problems turned into catastrophes in a nanosecond. For example, if there was thunder, I thought the sky was falling. If I felt sick, I thought it was an incurable disease. When I was a senior in high school and had not ever had a real boyfriend, I thought no one would ever love me or want to marry me. When I was younger, I thought everyone thought this way. 

About ten years ago, my anxiety had such a tight grip on me that I suffered from insomnia and paranoia. I finally decided, with the help of some of my inner circle, that it could not be normal, and I sought help. After some therapy, I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. I was so conflicted about this diagnosis because, as a Christian, we are not to have fear or anxiety or worry. But remember, those of us who are saved, are in this world, but not of this world. As long as we are a part of this world, we are subject to the trouble of this world, which includes illness – even mental illness. But, praise God that He created doctors, therapists, and medicine. There is no shame in seeking help. It does not make you less of a Christian. That is something that the devil would have you believe, so that you can stay sick. I knew that there was an issue, so I followed the treatment plan of my doctor, and I got the issue under control. 

I have been fine for years, but recently, I started to feel that old familiar feeling of paralyzing, worrisome thoughts. Only this time, I knew that it was irrational and it was nothing but the devil trying to distract me and throw me off my path. How do I know this? Because the anxieties that were, and still are, going through my head are blatant lies. And, I know that there is nothing to even be concerned with because God, my Father, cannot and does not lie. And, God, my Father, has told me that I have nothing to worry about or fear. And, God, my Father, has told me that He will never let anything happen to me that I cannot handle. And, God, my Father, told me that He will never leave me or forsake me. So, anytime thoughts cloud my mind about having a desperate need or being devastated or abandoned, I know they are lies and God does not lie. Ms. EV

Well, since I talked about driving yesterday, I may as well stick with that theme today. There are a lot of lessons to be learned while you are driving. For example, my mom and I were headed out the other day and I was driving. We had to make a left turn out of her neighborhood. This left turn is not an easy turn to make because it seems that traffic is always flowing steadily past the neighborhood, leaving little to no room to get on to the main road. As we approached the exit of the neighborhood, my phone beeped, so when I got to the stop sign, I checked to see who it was and if I needed to return the message while I was safely stopped. The only issue was that when I looked down at my phone, I did not realize that the coast was clear to make that left turn, and, by the time I looked up, there were cars everywhere. My mom looked at me and said, “You missed your opportunity.”

We sat at the stop sign for what seemed to be a very long time, but were probably about five more minutes, waiting until the coast was clear again for a left turn. And, though we reached our destination in plenty of time, my mom’s words were stuck in my head, “You missed your opportunity.” This time, I missed it because I was distracted by my phone. But, because I only live a few minutes away from my parents’ house, there are many times when I am sitting at that intersection, needing to make that left turn, and I miss the chance to make it for another reason, like the fact that I am afraid of making left turns that are not at a light. So, it got me thinking, “How many times do we miss opportunities because we are too preoccupied or too petrified to see our opening?”

These missed opportunities can occur in our dreams and goals, our relationships, and in sharing Christ. I once heard my pastor say, “Whatever breaks your focus becomes your master.” We can be on a path to greatness, but if we allow distractions into our lives, they can cause us to miss opportunities. Distractions come in many forms. Our thoughts can be distracting, which is why the Bible tells us to take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). I don’t know about anyone else, but I know that my mind is capable of coming up with all sorts of scenarios that are much worse than anything that would ever really happen. And, when I give in to those thoughts of self-pity, self-doubt, self-centeredness (notice a theme here), it does not take long before I have talked myself out of pursuing a dream or goal. Other people can be distracting. Either we focus on what others are doing and become envious of their successes, rather than being steadfast on the path that God has given us or we become so focused on other people’s issues that we stop pursuing on the dreams God has placed in our hearts. Sometimes, we are too focused on what others are telling us we should do instead of listening to God’s voice alone. The minute we take our eyes off of the end goal because of negative thoughts or negative interactions with people, we miss our opportunity.

Fear is another reason we miss our opportunities. Fear is only as powerful as we allow it to be. I have missed plenty of opportunities because of fear. Looking back, as a child of God, fear has no place in my life because it is not something that God intends for His children to have (2 Timothy 1:7). When I was engaged to my ex-husband, my mom, who was and is much wiser than I am, implored me to reconsider my decision. Rather than listen to her and take that opportunity to take control of my destiny, I let fear rule. I feared that if I did not get married then, I would never get married. At that point in my life, being single forever was a fate worse than death and I could not allow that to happen. Though my marriage was short-lived, I stayed married longer than I should have because I feared what others might say or think about me. I let fear win and I missed the chance to go to law school a year earlier, and to have the entire experience as an unmarried person. I am positive that I missed some opportunities to build friendships and fully engage in my learning experience during that time because of a decision based on fear.

Are there times when you have realized that you missed your opportunity? I recently had someone with whom I wanted to be in a relationship a long time ago make a comment about missing his chance with me. But, it is not just about relationships. How many times do we miss the chance to use our gifts because we are distracted? How many times do we miss the opportunity to pray for someone or tell someone about Christ because we are afraid of being dubbed a “Jesus freak?” We have to pay closer attention to God’s urging and make that turn when the coast is clear; knowing that He is not going to cause us to turn too quickly and get into an accident. However, when we miss the opportunity, He will let us sit and wait and think about it. The good news is that God is a loving God, and whatever He has for you is for you. So, even though I missed my first opportunity, I eventually made the left turn and reached my destination. In the same way, God will allow us to get to the prize that He has for us, if we will stay focused and fearless. Ms. EV