Friday FUSION will be back next week, but because we are celebrating Resurrection Day this Sunday, I felt it apropos to re-post this blog on Good Friday. If you live in the Jacksonville area and you are looking for a church to attend on Sunday, check out New Friendship in Atlantic Beach. If you are not in Jacksonville, a house of worship is only a Google search or a browse through Facebook away. So, read this and then, make plans to Celebrate Jesus!!!
Good Friday is a celebration of hope and expectancy. That may sound weird considering that it is when Jesus was crucified, but if we understand that this was all by God's design, we can have peace and joy about that Friday. Can you imagine what it was like on that fateful day? Just a week earlier people were praising Jesus. And, those same people that cried, “Hosanna,” were now yelling, “Crucify Him!” One of His own disciples sold Him of thirty pieces of silver. Can you fathom knowing that one of your best friends would betray you and still showing him or her love? Jesus even asked the Father to take the burden of our sins away from Him if possible, but was willing to do the will of God no matter what. Peter, my boy Peter, cut off the ear of the soldier that grabbed Jesus, and then, denied him three times before daybreak. And, as the sky turned dark, Jesus cried out, “Father, why have you forsaken Me?” Then, He took His last breath and died…for me. Can you imagine the despair? Because after He died, and the earth shook and the tombs were open, some finally realized that Jesus was who He said He was and that they had killed the Son of God. Can you picture the grief of those who believed all along? The Savior, their Savior, was dead. He was to be buried in a borrowed tomb. He was their hope, their peace, their joy. And though, He spoke of rising from the dead, if these humans were anything like me, in that moment they felt a deep despair. They probably felt that all hope was lost. And then, they rolled the stone away on Sunday morning and He was not there. At first, they thought someone had stolen Jesus’ body, but the angel reminded them that Jesus had foretold this miracle of Resurrection. In our lives, our Friday nights are those times when everything goes dark. Friday nights are those times when we think that God has forgotten about us. Friday nights are those times when we need our faith the most because it seems like everything we believe is being tested. But, if we can hold on until Sunday morning, then our miracle can happen. If we can trust God, then our healing can happen. If we can be patient and faithful, then our deliverance can happen. It may not be literally three days. It could be weeks or months or years, but if we can just wait until our Sunday comes, everything will be as He planned. And, no matter how dark it looks right now, Sunday’s on the way! Ms. EV On Friday night, they crucified the Lord at Calvary, but He said, “Don’t fret because in three days, I’m gonna raise again. You’re gonna see…So, when problems try to bury you (six feet deep) and make it hard for you to pray, they may seem like that Friday night, but Sunday’s on the way. - Take 6
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You know something needs to be said when you think it, write it down, share it with no one else, and then, you hear a person who you know is in tune with the Holy Spirit speak on it. That is exactly what happened with this blog. I wrote the concept early this week after having read the Scriptures about Judas several times. I thought about what must have been going through this disciple’s heart and mind when he decided to rat out Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. I was blessed with some insight about Judas to which I had never really paid attention.
Let’s start with the end of Judas. He killed himself. He realized what an awful thing he had done or he realized that he had been caught and he could not bear the shame, so he ended his life and he will burn eternally in hell; not because he committed suicide (not a debate I am going to get into today), but for the reason others go to hell. As my pastor explained, Judas never accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior; he was not saved by faith or any other means. This revelation was shocking to me because Judas walked with Christ and they were friends; he was a disciple, a follower of Christ. Then, I began to think of all the people who come to church, but are not saved. They are around Jesus and His Holy Word, but they do so because of a ritual, or what they can get from Jesus, not because of a loving relationship with the one, true, living God. I admit this is something that I was taught, but having studied the Scriptures, I see no reason not to believe, as my pastor explained, that Judas hung out with Jesus because he thought Jesus would overthrow the Roman government and he wanted to be on the right side on earth. His thoughts were not about eternity. His suicide was an act of remorse, not repentance. Just thought I would share that with you; hope my pastor does not mind. So, what about the beginning of the betrayal? In the Bible, it says that Judas allowed Satan to use him. We should not be shocked by this. Each and every day, I allow Satan to use me in some way; whether it is too watch television instead of studying God’s Word or to fall asleep instead of communicating heartily with God. If we truly examine our lives, we will all find places in our lives where Satan knows he can enter in and distract us. The sad part is that those distractions are usually wrapped up in doing something with good intentions, especially for those of us who Satan knows will not say ‘yes’ to pure, unadulterated evil. He is a tricky fellow. So, after Judas allowed Satan to use him, he went to the Pharisees and offered to give up Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. In Exodus 21:32, it says that if a servant is accidentally killed by an ox, the owner of the ox should stone the ox and pay the owner of the slave thirty shekels of silver. So, basically, Judas felt that Jesus was worth no more than a slave! Let that sink in for a moment. (SN: I learned this from my pastor, too. The man has a wealth of knowledge. If you are in the Jacksonville area and searching for a church home, come check us out at New Friendship) Okay, now before we get all high and mighty about what Judas should or should not have done, let’s take a look in our spiritual mirrors and ask ourselves, “What’s Your Price?” Really be honest. We condemn Judas all the time, but sell Jesus out each and every day of our loves. Instead of cheerful giving to our local church, we buy more “things.” Instead of listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit, God’s gift to us, we choose to do things “our way” (because that always works out well -- insert sarcasm). We may not literally be handing Jesus over to Pharisees, but we might as well be, every, single time we choose the people, things and issues of this world over him. So, what is your price to betray Jesus? Might I suggest that we all work on that price being so high that no one can pay it? Can you picture the nail-scarred hands and feet of Jesus Christ and imagine what it cost Him to save you? That’s how high our price should be. Ms. EV As I continue to reread what Jesus went through in the days before His crucifixion, I see His “trials” before Pilate and Herod. I graduated from law school nearly ten years ago and I practiced law for a few years. Despite what many people think about attorneys, I do not love litigation. In fact, I made it a mission of mine to not ever be involved in criminal litigation and to avoid civil litigation as much as possible. Why? I do not care for confrontation.
People ask me all the time why I stopped practicing law. The simple answer is that it made me sick. No, it really physically made me ill every time I walked in the courthouse and knew that I would either be standing before a judge or another attorney who would fire off questions at either my client or me. It made me queasy to even think about the level of confrontation that I would face in court and that how I handled the confrontation could change a person’s life forever. This is not to say that I never argue. My siblings and my exes will definitely tell you that I am fully capable of carrying on an argument. My problem is that long after the argument is over, I replay it in my mind. I go over everything I said, everything my opponent said, what I should have said, and what I will say the next time. So, I generally choose to argue over things that are more trivial, like sports or fashion, so that I do not drive myself absolutely batty. I have learned in my life, though, that there is a time to defend and a time for silence. I learned that from Jesus. In two so-called trials, Jesus uttered but a few words. To Pilate, He answered the question, ‘Are You the King of the Jews?’ with the reply, ‘You said that.’ In front of Herod, the Pharisees screamed accusations and Jesus did not say a word. Jesus knew that His purpose was to die for a sin-sick world. He knew that He was facing certain death. Bickering back and forth with the kings and His accusers was not going to change God’s plan. Sometimes, we get so caught up in how many opportunities we miss to say something that we do not even consider how many opportunities we miss to be silent so that God can move forward with His plans. I am not speaking of denying your faith, but simply allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you about what to say and when to say it. I know I have missed plenty of opportunities to shut up and I have caused more damage to the Kingdom of God by “defending myself and my beliefs” than I would have if I had just been quiet and walked in love. It is nearly impossible to have an argument with only one participant. It is not a matter of being weak or getting walked on, but a matter of trusting that God will tell you when it is your time to speak on the issue. If we remember, like Jesus, that all of our battles belong to the Lord, then perhaps, we will learn that there are times when silence is golden. Ms. EV After the Last Supper, Jesus went up into the mountains to pray. He took some of His disciples and instructed them to pray that they would not fall into temptation. After giving this command, Jesus went up the mountain a little further to be by Himself and pray to His Father. His prayer was not, “I am ready to face whatever is coming my way. Bring it on! Let’s do this!” He humbly sought His Father’s face and prayed, “Father, if You are willing, please remove this cup from me; nevertheless not My Will, but Yours be done.”
Though none of us will ever face anything nearly as horrid as what Jesus was getting ready to face when He prayed this prayer, we do come to a point when we know we are going to face hard times. Perhaps, the doctor gives us a diagnosis that we were not expecting. Maybe our boss gives us some grave news about the future of our careers. It could be that a spouse or loved one decides he or she no longer wishes to be a part of our lives. Jesus teaches us that it is acceptable to not want these things to happen in His prayer. He asked His Daddy if it was at all possible that His future could take a different route. I truly believe that there is nothing wrong with saying, “Lord, Father, if You are willing, please don’t make me suffer like this.” The part that we forget is that second part of the prayer, “Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours be done.” I know I like to forget it at times. When situations are not going the way I want them to go, I can be quick to ask God to change the situation into one I am with which I am more comfortable. Who chooses suffering? Well, Jesus did. In saying, “Not My will, but Yours,” Jesus chose to trust that whatever suffering God allowed would work out for the greater good of all. As human beings it is our nature to focus on the temporal pain or suffering that we will face and to forget about the bigger picture of what could happen. We might suffer from a disease, but through our suffering a cure or treatment may be found that benefits others. We could be let go from a job, but perhaps, it gives us the push and the opportunity we need to focus on the job ministry into which God has called us. Our loved ones may leave, but our testimony about how God worked through the situation could save another family. His Will is for our good. Yes, pain and suffering may be involved, but there will be victory on the other side. After this prayer, Jesus gained strength from the presence of an angel from heaven. Yet, He was still in agony; Jesus prayed so hard that His sweat fell like blood to the ground. It is not strange if you are agonized by your burdens, but you must cast your burdens and cares on the Lord. He may not take them away from you, but He will make a way for you. Just pray, “Not my will, Father, but Yours.” Ms. EV I know that there is no possible way for me to fully know what Jesus went through in the week leading up to His death, burial, ad resurrection. Yet, this week, while I really have time to focus, I want to try to my best to understand His sacrifice. The basis of my faith is Jesus’ salvation of me through His death and resurrection. I know and believe that I will meet Him one day face to face because He cared enough for this sinful world to lay down His life as the ultimate sacrifice for sin. Yet, I still cannot fathom what it must have been like to know everything that was going to happen and still go through with it.
In years past, we used to sing a song in our church devotions that said: This may be the last time This may be the last time This may be the last time It may be the last time I don’t know This may be the last time we all sing together It may be the last time I don’t know This may be the last time we all pray together It may be the last time I don’t know That is the difference between us and Jesus. When we gather together with friends, family and fellow worshippers, we have no idea if it is the last time we will see them, sing with them, pray with them, or eat with them. But, Jesus knew that when He entered Jerusalem and was celebrated, honored, and heralded as a king and savior, that it would be the same people who cried, “Hosanna,” that would later cry, “Crucify Him!” Jesus knew when He sat to eat with His disciples that it would be the Last Supper. Jesus didn’t waste time lamenting over what He could have done or should have been. He prepared His dear friends for the battle that they would face. He made sure that they knew how to remember Him. He confronted the issue of betrayal without callousness or cruelty. He gave the example of how to be a servant leader when He could have demanded that every one of them bow down to Him. He remained calm, even though He knew what would happen. As I read this account of what Jesus experienced in those last days, I had to examine my own heart. Would I be able to dine with a dear friend who I knew would stab me in the back for some money? Would I be able to let that person know that I knew without calling him out and confronting him in front of others? Would I be able to comfort and console others knowing what I was about to face? Would I be able to continue to be a leader and not totally fall apart? I can absolutely say that as much as I want to answer, “Yes,” I could not imagine facing death as Jesus did. I realized yesterday that I am still hurt by betrayals that happened in my adolescence and my early adulthood. I nearly came to tears recounting one particular episode that happened in high school. And, when I see the people who hurt me, love is not the first feeling that I feel. Yet, nothing that any person has ever done to me has lead to me being unjustly killed. I simply do not know how Jesus did it. Nevertheless, I am so glad that He did. I can never repay the debt I owe for the sacrifice that He gave; and, God is so loving that He does not request reimbursement. He only asks that we trust Him and obey Him; that is how we show our love to Him. What if you knew what would happen? Could you go through with trading your blameless life for people who did not deserve your sacrifice? Ms. EV For the foreseeable future, Ms. EV's Blog will feature music from Toni LaShaun Music. Today's song is Worth Dying For. This is the first one of mys songs that I ever professionally recorded. After hearing the finished product, I felt compelled to continue writing and recording. This song is in response to feeling unworthy of love. I went through a period in which I felt I was unlovable, but God reassured me that, not only does He love me, but He loves me so much that He thought I was worth dying for and fighting for. Enjoy! Ms. EV Worth Dying For Copyright © 2012 Toni L Wortherly I’ll never know why You felt that I Was worth dying for I can’t know the pain Can’t feel the hurt You endured But though You were never guilty You took my place before the Lord And You showed me I was worth dying for It’s hard to believe You look at me And think that I’m worth fighting for I’ve caused You such pain I feel so ashamed Oh Lord But You have never given up on me You bring peace in the midst of my storms And You showed me I am worth fighting for Before I ever took a breath of life You knew what my path would be You know I’d make mistakes, lose my way But You still loved me I am trying to do Your Will Live a life that will bring You glory That is my purpose to fulfill For the One who gave His all for me I’ll never know why You felt that I Was worth dying for It’s hard to believe You look at me And think that I’m worth fighting for So I won’t be ashamed To sing praises to Holy Name To show You You are worth living for Worth Dying for is available on Amazon, iTunes, and at the Toni LaShaun Music Store
I had to repost this today as a reminder to myself to not let people get to me.
I do my best to try to be aware of where my weaknesses are. I know that I am not perfect and that I have shortcomings. Some are obvious and others are less blunt, so I often ask God to show me the areas of my life in which I am failing Him. One of those areas is in dealing with adverse people. Mary Southerland of Girlfriends in God calls them sandpaper people. Don't get me wrong, I am a nice person. I have been told that I am compassionate, genuine, and loving. But, when it comes to the people who seem to exist only to unnerve me, sometimes I fall short in the area of Christian love. I know this is an issue because yesterday I mentioned to my mother that I may need to work on my people skills. I was in a situation where I found myself getting very frustrated with someone who asked me for help, and then, did not want to listen to me when I tried to give help. I have a feeling that my frustration was very obvious because, just like I do not have the ability to hide pain, I also have very little ability to hide the exact emotion I am feeling. Even though I was talking to my mother about the issue, I have a sneaking suspiscion that God overheard our convo (just in case you are wondering, I do realize that God hears everything). This morning, when I got to work I saw a person who not only annoys me, but goes out of his way to annoy me. I would prefer to have this person pretend that I am invisible because everything that comes out of his mouth is obnoxious. I have tried to ignore him. I have even tried, as recently as a few days ago, to be nice to him. But, there he was this morning as I arrived at work, pre-Coke Zero, to make another snide remark. I don't even know what I retorted, but I do know that it was accompanied by the yuck face and a possible eye roll. A couple of hours later I was reading a devotional and it spoke about making peace with people. OUCH!!! "But, I tried, Lord! I was nice to that dude the other day. I even smiled a genuine, not forced, smile. Surely, You can't mean him; he doesn't even recognize when I am trying to be peaceful." Even in the midst of my heart plea, I was wrong. And, I am still not really sure how to fix it. I don't want to brush off the obnoxious comments because I don't want this person to think that it's okay. Ignoring him is not going to fix it. Reacting adversly doesn't fix it either because even though I have had words with this guy and my friends have told him he is a jerk to me, he continues to act foolishly. Though I don't know what to do about this particular person, I am confident that God has the answer and He will guide me to it. Nonetheless, the issue is bigger than this one person. I don't want anyone to view God in a bad light because of how I treat other people, so I have to watch my actions and attitude towards others, especially obnoxious others. I figure if God can put up with the way I act and the things I say, I can learn to love in spite of. It is a process and I am sure I am not the only one who has to deal with those people. One thing is for sure, if you ever start thinking you have it all together and you ask God to point out your flaws, He will make them clear to you. The question then becomes what are you going to do about it. I have a few days to figure that out before I have to deal with this particular person again. But, in general, we have to keep love and peace in the forefront of our hearts and minds because some people are just too willing to let the devil use them to try to trip us up. Don't let the devil win! Ms. EV My cat, Joy Bella is potty-trained. About a year and three months ago, I decided I was tired of buying litter and I had heard that cats could be trained to use the toilet. It is not exactly their natural instinct, but through a series of behavior modifications, it could be accomplished.
Well, of course, I have the cutest, smartest cat ever, so, though it took some time, Joy was able to become fully potty-trained. Along the way though, she would have an occasional accident. At first, I would punish her, but then I learned to use positive reinforcement, and soon, she was not having as many accidents. Today, I came home and out of nowhere (I mean it has been at least six months), she had obviously had an accident. I know this is kind of gross, but go with me for a minute. I was not happy, but I did not punish her; I cleaned her mess and I did not give her a treat because she did not do what she knows to do. Right now, she is laying on my lap. She is not mad at me; actually, she is closer to me than she usually is when I get home from work. Why am I telling you about a potty-trained cat? Because, we, human beings, have a sinful nature. That is what we are hard-wired to do. However, once we let God into our lives, we are prepared and pruned until we learn to live a new kind of life. We develop a cleaner way of living. Yet, those old, natural habits are still there. And, if we are not careful, we may slip back into our old way of living; not permanently per se, but just for a moment. In those times, it has been my experience that God does not necessarily punish me, but He does not reward my bad behavior either. He lovingly corrects me, which draws me closer to Him. When we mess up, that is not the time to run from God; when old habits are beating down your door, that is the perfect time to run closer to Him. That is the time to hide in the safety of His arms, admit what you have done, and accept His mercy and forgiveness. Then, you can lay with your head in His lap of love and move forward in His plan for your life. You can learn a lot from a cat. Ms. EV So, it’s not a secret that I love music. And, Stephanie Mills’ song, “Never Knew Love Like This Before,” is currently stuck in my head. No, you did not miss the newsflash; the kid is still single. Nevertheless, I am celebrating the love that I sometimes take for granted; the love of Jesus Christ.
You see, sometimes, I get caught up in the world and what it has to offer. Sometimes, I look around and feel sorry for myself because I don’t have the kind of relationship that I desire. Sometimes, I feel sad because I think I have never truly experienced what it means to be in love. But then, I am reminded that, although I am single, and my earthly relationships have not been successful, I do know what it feels like to fall in love. There is something so awesome about falling in love with Jesus. When I think about what my life would be like without Him, I cannot help but love Him more. When I think of all the times He has forgiven me, I cannot help but fall deeper in love with Him. When I think about how He has never given up on me, even though others did, I cannot help but feel a sense of joy and peace from the inside; the likes of which no man can give. This kind of love, peace and joy can only come from Jesus. One more piece of amazing news is that you can fall in love with Him over and over and over again because, everyday, He gives us more and more reasons to love Him. He gave His life, so that we could live despite our faults, flaws and failures. He still believes in us. Even the best love this world has to offer is no match for that kind of love. You can search your whole life for the perfect wife or perfect husband or You can open up your heart to Jesus and let Him supply all you will ever need. I choose Jesus…’cause I never knew love like this before!!! Ms. EV A couple of weeks ago, I was preparing to do the Ms. EV's Relationship Advice broadcast, when I realized that I was just spent. I was tired physically, emotionally, spiritually just tired. So, I decided to take a little break. And, it was not an easy decision. However, I realized that it was better to take a break, get a chance to rest and rejuvenate after a huge event for which I am responsible, and then, come back stronger and better.
The two weeks away was anything, but relaxing. I knew that if I did not step back for a moment from a few things, then everything I had going on would be at stake. I love writing; it is an emotional and spiritual outlet and I love sharing the wisdom that God has given me over the years. I did not want to risk writing mediocre content or missing out on a message that was supposed to be written because of my busyness. It wasn't what I wanted to do, but it was what i had to do. Sometimes, we get so busy that we do not give our best. Even after I decided to take a little hiatus, I realized that I still was not giving my best to God. I was so busy doing "good" things that I was not spending quality time with God. Even if it meant giving up things that I liked, I could not abandon my first love. I had to purposefully make time to pray and not rush through my alone time with God regardless of other demands on my time. I had to get creative, and sometimes I faltered, but God is faithful and He picked me back up and what is even better, He did not beat me up about it (I was doing a perfectly good job of that myself); instead, God encouraged me to take the rest I needed and to find that rest in Him. So, now I am back. I have some VERY exciting adventures on the horizon and I an expectantly waiting to continue to see God's wonders working in and through my life. If you need a break, take it. God wants us at our best; that is why He encourages rest. Ms. EV |
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