Today’s Vacation Bible School verse is, “Praise the name of God forever and ever, for He has all wisdom and power” (Daniel 2:20 NLT). The lesson for today is the account of Daniel being thrown into the lions’ den. If you are unfamiliar with the story, the text is in Daniel 6. So, as I listened to the song I will teach later and looked at the theme for the day, “Amazing! God’s Power Over Circumstances,” I thought, “Do I really believe that God has control over every circumstance?” Yesterday, I wrote about God having control over everything and nothing being too hard for Him; however, if we really believe this, then we should never lose any sleep over our problems.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love to sleep. And, I thought I was the sleep champion until I got my cat, Joy Bella. When I first brought her home, having never taken care of a pet on my own and knowing nothing about cats in particular, I was concerned that she seemed to sleep almost all day. At first, I thought maybe it was because she was a baby. Have you ever watched baby’s sleep? They are so peaceful; they do not have a care in the world. They sleep until they have had enough rest, not tossing or turning, not begging their mind to stop racing. Hence, the phrase, “sleep like a baby.” That is the kind of rest God wants us to find in Him. He wants us to be so assured that He has all wisdom and power, that when we are overcome by exhaustion, we can enjoy peaceful rest rather than become so tired that it is difficult for us to be used for His glory. After a few days, Joy’s sleeping habits continued to concern me, though so, I did some research on cats. I found out that they sleep for about three-quarters of the day, in little spurts (hence, the term “cat nap”) and mostly during the day. I observed Joy Bella, and found that she could fall asleep anywhere. Sure, she has her favorite chair and window perch, but if something or someone (me) is in her way, she simply finds another place to rest and peacefully goes to sleep. The television can be on, music can be blasting, I can be on the phone; it does not matter. When Joy wants rest; she gets it. And, I wish I could be more like that. I wish that I could find rest no matter where I am and no matter what circumstances are going on in my life. I am definitely better at this than I used to be. When I first got divorced, I had a lot of anxiety about being alone again, not to mention I was in law school, which brought on its own set of issues. One day, I realized that I had not slept for more than two hours each night. I went to bed, but I knew when each hour passed because I was looking at the clock. I spoke to a doctor who let me know that I was suffering from insomnia, which I later found out was a symptom of a larger issue; I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. The good news is that I got treatment, I recovered, and then I got rest. But, it was embarrassing for me, as a Christian, to have let fear and worry overcome me so much. It did not end there; I was better, but every once in a while, I find myself back in the grip of anxiety. And, my problems are nothing like what Daniel was facing. Daniel did nothing wrong. All he did was stand up for God and live in obedience to His command. As a result, Daniel was revered and prosperous, which caused him to have some haters. The haters set Daniel up and forced the king to have to throw him into the lions’ den. Now, I mentioned I have a cat, when she playfully scratches me or bites me, it hurts! So, imagine what actual lions could do. This was a serious circumstance! But, Daniel trusted that God knew what He was doing and rather than staying up all night fearing what the lion would do to him, Daniel fell asleep on lion pillows. Most of the time our problems do not involve possibly being torn limb from limb, but I know that when it is your circumstance, no matter how insignificant it seems to others, it is huge to you. Let me encourage you, there is no problem too large or too small for God. When you are facing an unfavorable situation, do what Daniel did. Turn your problems into pillows. Ask God to work it out. Trust that He will work it out. Then, get some rest. Rest is an act of worship. It is us showing God that come what may, we need not lose sleep because we know that He never sleeps or slumbers and that He has all wisdom and power. Grab hold of your lion pillows and get your cat nap on because God has it all under control. Ms. EV
0 Comments
'Dear God, my Master, you created earth and sky by your great power—by merely stretching out your arm! There is nothing you can't do.” Jeremiah 32:17 (The Message)
This week is Vacation Bible School at our church, so as I study the lessons and the verses for the week, I am going to use them as the inspiration for this week’s blogs. Today, the portion of the memory verse that speaks the most to me is, “There is nothing You can’t do.” God can do anything; there is nothing too hard for God to handle. God created the heavens and the earth. He separated land from water. He spoke and caused plants of every variety to grow. He set the sun, the moon, and the stars in the sky. He orchestrated day and night, and each season of the year. He filled the oceans and the land with animals. He created man in His own image. He created woman out of man. And, that was just the beginning! So, why do we act as if our issues, our circumstances, our problems are too much for God to handle? Last week, in the blog, In ALL Things, I talked about trusting God in every circumstance in our lives, no matter how insignificant it may seem. But, we also have to trust that there is no situation in our lives that God cannot handle. Even when it seems overwhelming or insurmountable to us, God can work it out if we allow Him to have control. Therein lies the issue: control. Who is really in control of your life? I have to ask myself this question all the time. When doubt starts to creep in and when it feels like God is not moving fast enough, I am tempted to take over and do things my way, as if my problem is too hard for God and He needs my help. For example, it is no secret that I would like to be married and have children. At first, I gave myself until thirty to have however many children, I would have because I did not want to lack the energy necessary for my children’s adolescent years. As thirty passed, I extended the deadline to thirty-five, due to some cautionary words from my doctor. Well, I have to be married to have a baby (I realize that it is not impossible to have a baby without being married, but THIS GIRL needs to be married), so with the countdown to thirty-five looming ominously over my head, I held on to a relationship for way too long. Then, when it was over, I had even less time to date someone, get married and have babies, and the anxiety from constant thoughts about running out of time nearly threw me into a depression. So, I decided to give up on the idea of having a baby. If I no longer wanted to physically have a baby (I could always adopt a child), then the pressure to be in a relationship would decrease. I literally thought I could just snap my fingers, take control of my thoughts, and not want my own family, but the desire only disappeared temporarily. What I had done was place limits on God. I looked at the calendar, and I said, “Oh well, God can’t do this, so I will take control and help Him out by no longer making this request to Him. Now, I can get married whenever, and it will not matter.” I doubted God’s power, even though I have read of Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth; all of whom had their wombs opened by God when it seemed impossible. The solution was not to stop wanting the family I dreamed of; it was to start trusting that NOTHING is too hard for God. I will never purposely put the health of my child at risk, but if God wills for me to have husband and children, who am I to put time restraints on the Father of Time? In life, we will face challenges and obstacles that seem impossible to overcome. Maybe you are not dealing with relationship issues. Perhaps, it is a financial issue, a physical issue, or a spiritual issue. These issues are only impossible for you and I to overcome in our own power. They are not too hard for God; nothing is too hard for Him. Giving God all of the control does not mean that we just exist like amoebas floating through life. It means we make the conscious choice to live out everyday of our lives according to God’s Will, and to allow Him to be God. We do not get to tell God what to do, but we can ask Him for what we desire. And, as we grow closer to Him, our desires line up with His desires for our lives. This helps me to know that if I still desire something, as I sit at His feet, it will come to pass. It may not happen the way I thought it would; nevertheless, no matter what the situation may look like to us, there is NOTHING too hard for God. Ms. EV How will the introverted girl who does not enjoy talking to strangers ever meet someone? That is the million dollar question! Let’s get something straight: I am not a hermit. I have a social life, not a super active one, but I do not stay in my house waiting for someone to come, knock on my door and sweep me off my feet. I give many men the opportunity to find me. I go to work (not that I would date anyone there), church, sporting events (cannot wait for football season to start), I play trivia on occasion, and I take myself out to dinner. Nonetheless, I have been encouraged by others to step out of my comfort zone, so to that end, with a little shot of courage and a Living Social deal, I decided to try speed dating. Boy, when I step out I step way out!
Why speed dating instead of online dating? I have heard some positive feedback about online dating, but I have heard more negative feedback, so it is not something with which I am comfortable, but to each his or her own. Not to mention, every time I fill out one of those surveys on matching sites, it tells me I am too specific. Sorry if I know what I want; I have had plenty of alone time to figure it out. Also, like many of my male counterparts, I am a visual person and if a person is sitting in front of me, there is no mystery as to whether or not they are embellishing the truth about their outer appearance. I know it sounds superficial, but I am a human being and one of the many things I desire in a mate is that I am physically attracted to him. I also liked the idea of speed dating because it’s only six minutes per person, and then, if you don’t want to, you never have to speak to that person again. You also get to meet several people all in one setting instead of meeting one person at a time. So, I arrived with no expectations and a sick feeling in the pit of my belly. The first bell rang, we were given our instructions, and then I met thirteen different men. And, when I say different, they were very different. I knew that only about half of them had a remote chance because that is how many appeared to be taller than me. However, the others were helpful in allowing me the opportunity learn how to talk to strangers, show off my sense of humor, and learn how to be cordial even when I want to run. Of the ones that met the height requirement, one was too old, three were not attractive for various reasons (i.e. not wanting kids, smoking, recently divorced and noncommittal), and that left three. I had great conversations with all three, which was a good start. As the process ended, I tried to reflect on what I learned. First, I learned that I cannot be anyone other than who I am and there is nothing wrong with that. Next, I learned that even as the years go by, there are some things on which I am not willing to compromise and there is nothing wrong with that (see Superficial or Super Specific). I also learned that even though I took the initiative to attend the event, I still want to be pursued, so if someone wants to really get to know me, he will have to make the first move. Most importantly, I learned that I have to trust that God is not going to keep anything that is good for me from me. It would be nice to write that I had this adventure and I met the man of my dreams, and we are experiencing this beautiful romantic courtship that I am sure will lead to marital bliss and a family of my own. But, the fact that I cannot say that does not mean that this was not a successful venture. I sat in a room full of strangers and had conversations; a few of them were uncomfortable, but most of them were fun. That is a victory for me. I did not have my security blanket people to help me (although my BFF was available by text in case of emergency), and I did not break out into hives or start hyperventilating. That was a success. I have no idea how or when I will meet my future husband, but I am so glad that I already know my Present Help (Psalm 46:1). With each day, we grow closer and I am confident that no matter what happens in my love life, I already have the Love of my life. Ms. EV There is a rumor that when I was little I got kicked out of a dance class because I was a little bit of a brat. I can neither confirm nor deny this story. Nonetheless, I always wondered what kind of dancer I would have been had I been instructed in dance. The elementary and middle school years were not pretty when it came to rhythm. As a pretty lanky girl, it was difficult to get the arms and legs moving on the same rhythm.
Then, there was high school and musical theater. I discovered that I could learn choreography, but it took me a lot longer than other people; however, once I knew the dance I could rock it out. In college, I had to learn to step with my sorority, which completely exposed my lack of rhythm, but at the club (yes, I went to the club), I was a dancing machine. Of course, the kind of dancing we did back then did not really require any high level of skill. Although I am pretty sure that it contributed to my current knee and back issues. Even though I may not be the most skilled dancer, I love music and I love to dance. I have started choreographing dance numbers for theater, my cheerleaders, pageants and church. I might not look cute doing the moves, but I know what looks good when other people with skill perform it. There is one place though where it doesn’t matter that I am not a prima ballerina or a whiz at contemporary jazz. That is when I dance before God. Every year at Vacation Bible School, the music includes dance moves. It gives me the most jubilant feeling to teach the choreography to the children. To watch them laugh, be free, let go and just dance before God. There are the exuberant fast songs and the expressive slow songs. And, when I teach them the dances and we perform them, I understand why David chose to dance before God. Once you forget about how you look and just start giving sincere praise to God, dancing is so liberating! Then, as you fully surrender, the greatest Dance Partner, the Audience of One, can join in with you. He can move in and through You, leading you into the most intimate worship. I am learning a song called, “Dance With Me,” by Jesus Culture, and it reminds me of how beautiful it is to just dance before God. You do not have to have any training or talent. All you have to do is just praise Him in your own way. This kind of praise that yields to the movement of the Spirit can break down walls and strongholds in our lives. Give it a try. Put on your favorite praise music, whether fast or slow, old or new, gospel or contemporary, and just ask God to be your dance partner. Whether you are joyful or feeling downtrodden, open yourself up to praise Him and don’t hold anything back. These types of intimate moments can happen in your house by yourself or in a church full of people, but I am challenging you to allow them to happen, you will not regret the closeness that you feel to the Master. Say, “Won’t You dance with me, oh, Lover of my soul to the song of all songs?” God will never deny you the opportunity to grow closer to Him. He will embrace you and lead you in the dance. Ms. EV I woke up one morning with a poem and praise on my heart. I always sleep with either a pen and pad in my bed or my phone nearby ready to record a memo. Sometimes, I even have my laptop in my room for the occasions when I need to wake up and write. Whether it is in the middle of the night, early in the morning, or before I go to sleep, I want to be able to write what God gives me. Some of it is just for me and some of it is for sharing with others. And, as I wrote the poem that morning, and the words flowed from my heart, I realized what an awesome gift of gab God has bestowed upon me. Not that I am awesome, but that words are so powerful.
In my younger days, I realized the power of words, but did not use words in a way that was pleasing to God. When I was a little girl, I was tall, skinny, and awkward. I did not have a lot of friends because allegedly, I was also bossy. I was teased a lot in elementary school and middle school, and that was before I got glasses and braces. When I was very young, I learned a bunch of words, most of them with four letters, that I quickly found out made me very scary to others. Before I knew it, I could string those words together in such a way that no one was willing to go up against me. In high school, I was picked on because I “talked funny” and acted like an “Oreo” (in other words, I used proper English and took honors classes). When curse words were no longer strong enough, I started using my intelligence to find words that cut my bullies at the very core of their beings. Sometimes I won arguments by making people feel inferior and other times I won because they could not understand my insults. While gratifying at the time, I know it was not the correct thing to do. Yet, I still continued to be brazen with my words, especially in writing. Then, one day, in college I found myself locked in a room, while several girls waited in my living room wanting to beat me up over some of my comments. That was a wakeup call. We hear all of our lives that “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” but sometimes words are even more painful than sticks or stones. As you can see, I remember almost every insult anyone has ever hurled at me, but I don’t remember as many positive statements that have come my way. When I was older, I told my parents that as a child, I would have rather gotten a spanking when I did wrong than to hear either of them say, “You disappointed me.” Those words broke my heart. The Bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21), and yet we use words so cavalierly. If you do not believe that words are important, ask any couple that is on the verge of breaking up with one another. If you do not think that words are significant, speak to members of a family that have not spoken to each other in years. If you do not think that words are of great consequence, talk to someone who no longer feels like they can talk to God. Communication is at the center of every relationship in our lives. It is an awesome gift to be able to express ourselves, not only to God, but to everyone else who plays a role in our lives. Like any precious gift, we must be careful with our words because the wrong words can hurt rather than heal. The wrong tone of our words can injure rather than encourage. There is the old adage, “If you cannot say something nice, then do not say anything at all.” Those words of wisdom are not just for playgrounds. I am not saying to sugarcoat everything because sometimes people need to be corrected, but even correction can be delivered in a positive way with love. To sustain and improve all of the relationships in your life, use the gift of words wisely. Ms. EV I like to bake desserts in my spare time and for your next event (shameless plug for EV Catering). My favorite thing to bake is cupcakes, but the hard part about cupcakes is pouring the batter into the cupcake pan without making a mess and wasting batter. After watching several episodes of “Cupcake Wars” on Food Network, I noticed that the professionals use ice cream scoops to get the right amount of batter quickly into the cupcake liners. So, I decided that before I baked my next batch of cupcakes, I would get a scoop.
As much as I love cake and cupcakes, I do not like frosting, so when I am baking for myself, I usually leave it off or use very little. However, when I am baking for a client, I have to frost the cupcakes and they need to look professional, so, in order to do that, I have tried several different piping bags and methods of making the frosting look beautiful and appetizing. I know that it tastes fantastic; however, many people eat with their eyes first, so it needs to look fantastic. So, in addition to my cupcake scoop, I also set out on a mission to find a new cupcake decorating tool. I recently had an order to fill, so when I went to get ingredients I looked for my new baking toys. I was a little dismayed at the prices of the items though. In the aisle, as I scanned up and down, back and forth for something in the right price range, I stopped and prayed. I asked God to help me find what I needed. I took one more stroll down the aisle, and all of a sudden, I see not an ice cream scoop, but a cupcake scoop. It was priced perfectly. I moved on to the aisle with the decoration tools. The same scenario played out. I found what I wanted, but it was way more than I was willing to pay. I stopped, and I don’t even think I said a whole prayer, I think I just said, “Ok, God, here we go again.” I turned around and I spotted a cupcake decorating tool. I did a little mini-shout right there in the store. I used both of these new tools for the order, and my prep time and decorating time were greatly decreased, I was less frustrated, and the cupcakes were a “huge hit,” according to the client. Why am I going on and on about cupcakes and baking tools? It is not about those specific items. It is about the fact that I love and serve a God who cares about every detail of my life. If it concerns me, it concerns Him because He cares for me. In fact, He said I could cast all of my cares on Him because He cares for me. A lot of times, we think that we are bothering God with the “little things” in our lives. I can attest to that. There are people dying and suffering and hungry and unsaved, so why would I bother God by asking Him to help me find baking tools? Because the God I serve can handle the sick, the wounded, the hungry and the lost, and He can still care about everything that concerns me. I have found that when I stop asking God about the smaller details of life, eventually I star leaving Him out of the bigger details in my life, and then, I just start getting all sassy and independent. God wants to communicate with us and be our companion. He has called us friends. And, I don’t know about anyone else, but I tell my closest friends even the smallest details of my life because I find beauty in that level of intimacy with friends, even when the details seem silly. God wants to be involved in ALL things in our lives from buying baking tools to buying a house; from choosing furniture to choosing a future spouse. The fact that we talk to Him and listen for the promptings of the Holy Spirit shows our trust in Him. So, include God in ALL things. If you have a real relationship with Him, there is no area of your life that about which He does not care. If you really tap into an intimate friendship with God, it will be the best relationship in your life. Ms. EV Last week, I read a devotion that talked about the woman with the issue of blood who was healed by Jesus. The devotion posed the question about what readers thought happened to the woman after she met Jesus. In response, I said that I think it may have taken her some time to live freely in her new, healed and whole condition. This woman suffered for twelve years. She was seen as unclean. No one could help her; people took advantage of her. She just wanted to get her secret blessing by touching Jesus’ hem and go on with her life. Then, Jesus called her out and reassured her that He knew her plight and that she was now whole. I am confident that she was grateful and I am sure she told her testimony to anyone who would listen; it is just that I know in my life that there have been many times when God has delivered me from afflictions--emotional, spiritual, physical and financial--yet, it takes a little while to adjust to the new found freedom.
When my marriage began to crumble, which was almost as quickly as it began, I tried to make it work because I was afraid to look like a failure. I stayed and I tried not because I loved him, not because I made a promise before God and a church full of people, but because I was afraid of what other people would say about me. I had somewhat isolated myself from people who cared deeply for me. I had taken my husband’s side on many issues where I knew he was dead wrong to the detriment of some of my relationships, but I thought I was being a good wife. And, I felt that if I was a good enough wife, eventually, he would change and we would change, and it would become a decent marriage. That was not the case. When I decided that the marriage was over, my ex-brother-in-law told me that I was a sinner and that divorce was a sin for which I could not repent. At the time, I acted as if his words meant nothing to me and I pressed forward with the divorce, and with good reasons, biblically-backed reasons (if you don’t know what that means, look it up in Matthew 5). Even though, I had a way out and I was delivered from one of the worst mistakes of my life, I felt damaged. How could I make being divorced right with God? I went from feeling damaged to acting destructively. No one on the outside world knew because I am a fantastic actress, but I had been broken for so long that I did not think the pieces would ever come back together again, and that is a dangerous place to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Eventually, after having my heart broken on more than one occasion, I realized that God had restored me, but I was still living as though I was a reject. No one who is a child of God is a reject. God helped me realize how much He cares for me. He helped me reclaim my title as a holy princess, the daughter of the Almighty King. Then, I was able to fully engage in life. Yes, there have been ups and downs in my life, but I know my value. No matter what situation arises my value to my Father and myself does not change. I am undamaged. Many times when we have been suffering or afflicted for a long time with some situation, whether it is health-related, heart-related or wealth-related, we have a tendency to continue to live as though we are damaged, even though we have been delivered. However, once we realize that we are His and His love starts to flow from within us, so that we can accept who He made us to be, and not give any thought to what others may think of our past, our present, or future, we cannot help but shout of His love from whatever platform we may have. I AM NOT DAMAGED! I AM NOT SHATTERED! I AM NOT UNDERVALUED! I AM DELIVERED! I AM REDEEMED! I AM LOVED! Ms. EV I was reading through some past journal entries the other day and I ran across this little mini-poem:
“It may be me one day, but right now it is not; I have to keep my focus on what I have got.” I cannot remember what prompted that little message of encouragement. It could have been anything. Perhaps, I read a devotional on thankfulness. Maybe I saw an article about a wedding. It is possible that I saw someone who is very wealthy on television. There is no telling what my eyes or ears witnessed that caused me to stop immediately and affirm my gratitude and contentment with my life. And, the other day when I read it, I thought, “Thank God for what I don’t have, too.” Do you ever think about all of the things that you don’t have? I am not speaking of the wants and desires that you wish you had; I am talking about all of the things that you don’t want and you don’t have. Or, how about all of the things that you should have, but you don’t have? We may never know the depths or breadth or lengths of God’s love and mercy. But, as we look around the world at the tragedies that are suffered, it ought to cause us to throw our hands up in praise if we are not afflicted with that type of calamity. When we look over our past mistakes, and we realize that we have escaped some of the worst possible scenarios for our lives with consequences that are not nearly as awful as they could be, we ought to fall to our knees and thank God for His mercy. These mirrors of mercy can appear on any level of our lives. On a spiritual level, children of God can be thankful that we do not have to go through someone else to get to God. We can come boldly before His throne of grace asking anything we need in Jesus’ name because Jesus took our place on the cross (Hebrews 4:16; John 14:13). We should be thankful that we do not have nail-scarred hands and feet or a pierced side, which is the least that we deserve for our sins. On an emotional level, we can praise Him when we do not have any more tears to cry over someone who has caused us pain, whether it is a spouse, a loved one, a family member, a co-worker, or a friend. It is such a blessing when we get to the day when we do not have any more emotion to give to that situation and we can finally move on with our lives. On a romantic level, thank God for that person that He did not allow you to be with or to stay with who would have done more damage to your life than good. On a physical level, we should appreciate that we do not have all of the ailments that we could have. Some sickness happens because we live in corruptible bodies. Some sickness happens because we have bad habits or do not properly value our health. In either case, even when we are infirmed with something, we can be grateful that we do not have other conditions and diseases in addition to that one. On a financial level, we ought to be grateful that we do not have to depend on man as our source. Once again, this is not an encouragement to quit your job, but just recognize that no matter what man does, if you belong to God, He has your back--and front and sides. (2 Thessalonians 3:10; Psalm 27:1). Just think about all the debt you could have that you do not have. Whether you are in good standing because you used Godly wisdom in economic evaluations or because God has spared you from the most severe outcomes associated with your financial foolishness, you should shout, “Hallelujah”(especially in this economy). I believe that there are many times when we are trying our best to be content with what we do have that we can identify the gifts of grace, but we also should be thanking God for His mercy; for the circumstances with which we do not have to grapple. What makes it difficult to recognize these blessings is that we truly do not know all of the situations from which God has protected us, which is a blessing in and of itself. Nevertheless, the next time you find yourself feeling pitiful because of what you do not have, turn the pity party inpraise party for what you do not have by the mercy of God. Remember, (and I cannot think of the exact quote or who said it) it is better to be able to desire what you do not have than to have what you do not desire. Ms. EV The other day, I had a marvelous time with one of my dearest friends. She wants me to get married almost as much, if not more, than I do. So, I was sharing with her some of the issues that I have been having and some of my future plans to kickstart my social life. As our discussion went on, I talked to her about two different old flames who I have had contact with in recent months and one person with whom someone tried to play matchmaker. My friend, who has no problem telling me when she thinks that I am wrong (those are the best kinds of friends), did not quite understand why I was not open to some of the options for interaction that had been proposed to me. And, her inquisition caused me to express this position, “I am saying ‘no’ now to avoid saying ‘yes’ later.”
Whenever someone hears that it has been six years since I have been on a real date, they are utterly shocked. I mean, I am gorgeous, intelligent, talented, knowledgeable about sports, and, of course, humble. (That was a joke; stay with me). But honestly, I do believe that I am quite the choice catch for the right suitor. I think that all single people should believe that about themselves. If you do not think you will make a great mate, then perhaps, you have no business going out on dates. But, Ms. EV, isn’t dating just for fun? Maybe for you it is, but I want to get married. So, when I date, it has a purpose that goes beyond companionship or the need for a free meal or movie. I have learned, with God’s help, how to have fun with me because if I cannot have fun with me, then how could I expect someone else to? When I date, it is because I see that the person has the potential to be my forever guy. He fits the general mold and I will accept a date with him to find out if he fits the nooks and crannies. Where am I going with this? Well, it’s not that I have not been asked on a date in six years. Though the requests are few and far between, there have been requests for my company. And, I should clarify that I was in a relationship for two of those six years, and pining for that relationship for at least another year after the break up, so it has really been three years that I have been open to a relationship. So, why not say ‘yes’ to every person that asks to take me out and weed through the good, the bad and the ugly? Again, that might work for other people, but I know myself. When I went on my last first date six years ago, I was attracted to my ex (or I would not have gone out with him), but, at dinner, I did not really see how the relationship could work because he lived in another state and worked in another country for half of the year. But, he seemed to be so into me that I could not help but agree to meet up again before he left town. The only problem is that he didn’t call when he said he would (if you know me, you know that this seriously irks me), so I was confused. When he did call, I should have said what I had told other people for years, “Not calling when you say you are going to call is a deal breaker.” Instead, I took the call, got charmed all over again, and agreed to explore what could develop between us. I cannot tell you how many times in that relationship I did not get a phone call that I was told was coming or a visit that I was promised, which is why we broke up. And, during that time, I had eyes for no other person, so I have no idea how many opportunities I missed to be with someone who could have been my soulmate. So, now here I am with some opportunities to date or hang out with people that I know do not qualify for marriage according to my standards (which are mine and I am entitled to them, so don’t tell me I am too picky). Why say 'no' when there might be potential there or why not just go for practice, so I know how to date other guys? Here’s why, and this strictly applies to me. I know that if I go out with someone and he treats me well and wants a future with me, I am prone to settling. Sure, I may not be willing to settle on the first date, but as time goes on, I may find the gentleman to be truly endearing and agree to a serious relationship, although not really the person with whom I envision a relationship. Every serious relationship I have been in has followed this pattern, including my marriage. And, I have heard that doing the same thing and expecting different results is what causes insanity. So, now, I have chosen to say ‘no thanks’ when someone has a trait that I know I will not appreciate in the long term (I may even become resentful about the trait--I am a work in progress) to avoid settling and saying ‘yes’ to a relationship with that person later out of the sense or need to be in a relationship. God knows what I want in a relationship and what I need. Each of us has our own individual journey. You may be capable of going on a date and then cutting that person out of your life if they are not your match (I wish I had that ability), but have some other issue that you need to take to God. Maybe it is not a date you need to say ‘no’ to now to avoid saying ‘yes’ later to something that is not what is best for your life. Maybe you are dealing with a career decision or friendships. Whatever the case may be, we have to know our personal boundaries and limits. We have to work with God to find out what will truly be satisfying for the long term and what will simply fill a temporary ache. I am trusting that when it is time to say ‘yes,’ God through the prompting of the Holy Spirit will give me that wisdom. I look forward to that day, and until then, I will wait for His best. Ms. EV I figured that since I have already written about driving for two days, I would continue with that theme today. Today, however, I am not talking about the rules of the literal road, but the rules on the proverbial road of life. What drives us? What is transporting us toward our goals? What is motivating us in our relationships with people? What is getting us to a deeper love and understanding of our Master? Are we purpose-driven or profit-driven? Is it wrong to be both?
I absolutely believe that I was meant to publish Pray While You’re Prey seven years ago. The book is my testimony, and, to this day, people tell me that it is helpful to them as they walk the single, Christian journey. While I am confident in publishing the book, I am pretty sure that the way that I handled publishing the book was not the way God would have chosen. With a manuscript that got rave reviews and just enough legal know-how to be dangerous, I very quickly took God’s plan and ran down my own path with it. I tried to get a publisher for the book. I sent out query letter after query letter and got rejection after rejection, so I felt that it was in my best interest to self-publish. I did all of the research of the costs of printing and publishing, gathered a team that was willing to invest time, talent and treasure and I was off to the races. Even with the help of others, I still needed more funding, so I got a small business credit card that had zero percent interest for the first six or twelve months or something, and then, of course had a huge interest rate if the balance was not paid in that time frame. (I should probably mention that at that point in my life, I was two years into my dad’s credit reconstruction/financial responsibility plan from all of the bad financial mistakes I had made in college and law school.) So, here I was with this fantastic testimony in manuscript form and a credit card, so that I could act immediately on my dream. At the time, I felt that by putting the printing and marketing costs (keep in mind that there was no social media) of the books on credit, I was showing God that I was “all in” on this vision. I was ready and willing to take on any challenge. In hindsight, I realize that I just was not willing to wait on Him to provide a better plan for what I wanted to do. So, I had a book release event, got my book in stores and did book signings. I was even on the radio promoting the book. But, as the time started to wind down to the high interest rate on the credit card, my motivation shifted from conveying a message of hope and encouragement to getting that cash money honey. I did not handle the moderate success that I had with the book very well. I expected people to come out in droves to my book signings and invite me to speak all over the country. And of course, once Oprah got a hold of the book, it would be in her book club, and I would be RICH…hahahahahaha! And, I wonder why God only shares pieces of information with me and not the whole picture! There is nothing wrong with believing that God will prosper you in His purpose for your life, but when you replace His plans with your own, you cannot expect the same results that you would have gotten if you had listened to Him. So, now I am at the halfway point of recording my first CD. People keep asking me what my next step will be and I keep asking God the same question because I never want to veer off onto my own path again. I had to stop and ask myself why I am even recording. The fact is that I have always had a desire to record music. The only other careers I envisioned besides attorney were educator and recording artist/producer. I do not feel like I came to those conclusions on my own because God has blessed me with the talents to match. I know that with music and writing of any kind that I do, the most important aspects are the lyrics and the message. Music is a universal language and I believe it to be one of my gifts for Kingdom-building. I would love for writing and music to be my careers; nevertheless, it is about God’s will and God’s timing. Right now, I am a teacher and I love teaching, but I did not intend to be a high school teacher forever, so is it wrong to want to make a career out of my gifts? Let me give you a hint, that question was rhetorical. I do not believe that it is wrong to pursue the passion that God has placed in you. But, we have to take the time to be brutally honest with ourselves and know whether we are driven by moving on God’s mission or driven by making that good money. When I felt that I was no longer going to make any money from my books, I quit because, at the time, I was profit-driven. All that mattered was the bottom line and that was wrong. Imagine if all that mattered to God was the bottom line. What if all He cared about was your salvation and after that you were on your own? Thankfully, He is a gracious and merciful God that does not just want us to be saved, but also cares about the quality of our lives. When it comes to dreams, goals, relationships, and loving God, we should be driven by purpose first and foremost. It is okay to be profit-driven if the gain is God’s glory revealed or souls snatched from the devil’s grip. God created us to praise and please Him, so that is what we are called to do and it is not about what we can personally gain. If God’s purpose in giving talents is for it to become a career, then that is what it will be. However, even if is it not meant to be a career, we should not going to stop using the talent for His glory. Many times we look at the provision, the people, and the purpose God blesses us with and we only want them for the benefits associated with them. If you throw away a blessing because you don’t feel that you are getting enough out of the deal, then you are strictly profit-driven. And, by profits, I do not mean strictly monetary harvests. So, as you move in the vision that God has for your life, be sure to note whether you are purpose-driven or profit-driven. Ms. EV |
About Ms. EVWhen you have elevated values, it is not about being snobby; it is about living victoriously! Archives
March 2016
Categories
All
Copyright Notice© Toni L. Wortherly and Ms. EV's Blog, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Toni Wortherly and Ms. EV's Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
![]() Ms. EV's Blog by Toni L. Wortherly is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. |