I loved the movie Despicable Me; I especially love the Minions! I am so excited for the second one. I hope it is as good as the first, but this is not a movie review. This is a letter of thanks to the one and only God, my Savior. You see, I was in Sunday school a few weeks ago and we were talking about our favorite hymns. Some said, "Blessed Assurance." I said, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." Our teacher said, "Amazing Grace." I have a lot of favorite hymns, but when the teacher broke down Amazing Grace, I thought, "How can that not be every Christians battle cry?"
You need only look at the first line to be in awe of God, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me!" Grace is unmerited favor and many people can recognize that we do not and did not deserve the sacrifice of God's only Son, Jesus Christ as our substitute. There is nothing we did or ever will do that can repay such an awesome, and well, AMAZING sacrifice. The part I think I, and possibly others gloss over is the "wretch like me" part. I have sung this verse countless times in my life and I never stopped to think what wretch even means. But, our teacher broke it down, and the meaning that stuck out to me was "despicable." We don't like to look in the mirror and see the parts of our lives that are despicable to God. We love to compare ourselves to other people because they make us look fantastic! We pray more than they do. We give more than they do. We serve more than they do. But, what happens when we actually hold ourselves up to God's standard of human living; the way Christ lived on Earth? Then, we look pretty despicable. And yet, in spite of our messy, mistake-ridden lives, God offers His amazing grace. What makes it so amazing? The fact that someone as despicable as me (and you) has the ability to be cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ and made whole and live forever, and not because of who we are or what we have done, but because of the love of God through Christ Jesus. I cannot speak for anyone else's life, but knowing what I know about me, I cannot understand why He loves me; I am just forever grateful that He does! Ms. EV
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I was on my way to church, and as I drove I noticed a work van in front of me. On the back of the van, it said, “HUSBAND FOR RENT.” My first line of thought was about how that might be nice. Like, if I had a social function to attend, and I could just call someone up and rent him for the night to help avoid all of the awkward “Why are you still single?” stares. My rented husband would have a very detailed background story on how we met, how he swept me off my feet, how he proposed, etc. You know, all of that stuff that people think is their business.
He would make every woman in the place jealous of me because he would be the perfect guy. If figure if I rented him, I must have picked out the perfect one, you know. I didn’t really work out how I would explain his sudden disappearance or why he was never at the house. Or, if I would have to just keep renting him until I really got into a relationship, which could also be very messy. As a matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the whole rent-a-husband thing was a little scandalous, dare I say, escort-ish! When I got closer to the van, I saw the Husband-For-Rent’s tagline, “If he won’t do it, I will!” I quickly realized that this service was for women who already had a husband or a man in their lives (I find that a little discriminatory, by the way). This service is for the women with a honey-do list that is too long for their honey to do. Well, what about me, Harpo?!?! I have a light bulb or two that need changing, a car that needs to be detailed and maintained, trash that needs to be taken to the compactor. I even thought about calling this so-called Husband For Rent and giving him a piece of mind about how he was discriminating against single ladies like me with that tagline. And, furthermore, who are these girlfriends and housewives who would dare bring another man into their home to outshine their current man; just ungrateful, I tell you! As you can tell, I can be a little overdramatic. I realized that I was ungrateful. I had to stop and thank God that I am able to do things like fix my garbage disposal when needed. I also had to thank him that when there is a chore that I cannot manage, I had never had to worry because my family has been there to help. Plus, I had to thank God that I have grown confident enough and content enough in my singleness that I don’t really care about awkward stares and questions in social settings. I don’t need to lie and front about my situation. I am single, I am blessed, and that is it. So, I guess I don’t need the services of a Husband for Rent. I would sure love a maid, though, but that’s a story for another day. Be blessed, Ms. EV One of our favorite things to listen to on long van rides when I was younger was the “Bill Cosby: Himself” comedy tape. We listened to that thing so much we had the whole thing memorized. From “Dad is great…give us the chocolate cake” to Cosby’s impression of his wife, Camille, dealing with fighting children where she screams, “I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIIIIIIISSSSS!!!” That comedy tape is still hilarious to this today.
And, on one particular Monday, I felt a little like Camille except it wasn’t about my children (because I have none), it was about my current situation. I woke up this morning and almost immediately wanted to pull the covers back over my head and hide at home. I knew that I had so much work to do, most of which would not ever be appreciated by anyone. I also knew that I had to have an unpleasant, confrontational chat with my students, and I awakened to a text message that seemed to add something else to an already full plate. I think we all get a case of the Mondays, but this case had me wanting to tap out of the fight. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate and love my job. Well, I love the intent of my job because I have a passion for teaching people. It’s all of the other tasks that go along with my job that can make it overwhelming and unpleasant. I finally convinced myself to get up and prayed my way through my morning routine, so I could get out of the house. I usually listen to sports radio on the way to work, but my radio was still on the gospel station from Sunday, and I heard a song I liked so I stayed on that station all the way in to work. Just before I got out of the car, there was a mini-message from a local pastor. He talked about how we want to move forward, but many of us are not sure of when to move. He went on to say that when you’ve had enough of your current situation, it is time to move into what God has for you. This was a Word from God that I had been waiting on to confirm what I believed to be true about some projects I have in progress. I did not march up to my boss and quit my job. My to-do list did not disappear. However, I was able to thank God that my job is no longer comfortable. I was grateful for feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated because if I did not feel that way, I would not be motivated to pursue my dream of a music ministry or to continue writing as God speaks to my heart. If I was still comfortable where I am, I would never move. So, I am thankful that I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!! It challenges me to start building and start working on the next phase of the life God wants me to have and the dreams God wants me to pursue. And, if it is His will, my passions for writing and music ministry will also become my sources of income. But, even if I have to teach until I qualify for retirement, I am confident that God will still open doors and help me to use the gifts He has given me for His glory. Thank You, God, for confirming that now is the time to move, to press into You as I pursue the dreams You have given me. I am going to move forward and trust God because I have had enough! Have you? Ms. EV I woke up very early this morning in somewhat of a panic. I started thinking about what I do not have in my life. I started thinking that I am not achieving enough; that I am a failure. I started wondering how I had taken a step back instead of a step forward. I started praying hard, and I eventually fell back to sleep. When I woke up and started preparing to face the day, the thoughts came right back. I felt myself start to get lost in anxiety, and then, I said, “No. Not today. Not ever!” God has been too good to me for me to let these thoughts break me down. You see, yesterday, I went back into the studio for the first time in five months and recorded my first gospel song. The song is called, “My Victory Is In My Praise.” It was the first song I have recorded that it took one take for the lead vocal. I wrote the lyrics at the beginning of the year and I had it next on my list to record, so I took a leap of faith and recorded it. The song is about using praise as a weapon to overcome your inner struggles; you know those late at night, don’t nobody know, but you and God (I know that was bad grammar) struggles that creep into the daytime sometimes. It is about praising your way through ailments, whether they are physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. It is about praising until your deliverance comes from whatever it is that has you bound; be it singleness, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, illicit relationships, or just not living up to your potential. So, as I thought about yesterday’s recording session, and how close I felt to God, the words from my uncle Rodney’s sermon on Sunday rang in my ears, “That’s why the devil hates you!” I am not a failure. I have everything I need in my life. In fact, I am an overcomer (the red squiggly line says this is not a word, but we churchy people know that it is). So, I decided to start praising. I thanked God for helping me make some tough decisions about my life that I knew would change my ability to afford some of the luxuries that I am used to, but would free up my time to use the talents that God has bestowed upon me. I thanked Him for giving me something to write and say for almost every day of the last year. I thanked Him for keeping my head way above water even when, on paper, it looked like I should drown. I thanked God for helping work through loneliness and its associated issues. I thanked God for getting me through mourning, and giving me the opportunity to comfort others. Victory! Healing! Deliverance! It’s all in the praise and my God is able! Because you are a loyal reader of this blog, I am going to give you a preview of the new song. The preview and all of the lyrics are below. Enjoy! Ms. EV Yesterday, I had the day off, and I was very tempted to stay in the house all day and veg out. But, after a quick pep talk, I decided that since I had a few errands to run, I would make a day of it. I would take myself out to eat at a new place and walk around a shopping center. Perhaps, even get a new phone to replace my rapidly dying, malfunctioning one. I knew I needed to get up, make myself pretty and get out of my house. I had gotten out of the habit of doing so and more into the habit of being a hermit. I could tell that while I don’t particular mind being a hermit most times, it was starting to lead me into a sullen and somber state that tends to happen to me about this time of year.
I set off on my journey, looking cute I might add, and I went to a new restaurant. I had nearly forgotten what it was like to eat alone in public. I had built up a certain confidence in the practice of eating alone, but I hadn’t done it in so long that I began to panic. But, I made it through lunch with the help of my best friend who participated in a conversation by text. I made three stops in that shopping center (this will be important later), and then, I headed to my last stop. I went to look at phones, but the line was too long, so I left the store. On the way out, there was a Salvation Army bell ringer. I thought I should put something in the bucket, but realized I had $0.31 on me and decided to keep walking. I got in my car, turned the key and nothing happened. I prayed, turned the key again, still nothing. I called my mom, who is out of town, to see if she or my dad could offer some advice. They told me to call my uncle and see if he could help. I tried to reach him, but my phone wouldn’t let me dial the number and my aunt wasn’t answering. I started to panic. I surmised it was the battery and I probably needed a jump start, but I didn’t have jumper cables and I was not comfortable asking a complete stranger for help. So, I tried my phone again. The next number it let me dial was my nephew, but he couldn’t come help me, so I decided to try to call my roadside assistance plan. I texted my best friend to update her on my situation, opining that I should have opted to stay in for the day. She quickly calmed me by saying that what I was experiencing could happen to anyone and I should just be thankful that it happened there and at that time, where I could get some help. She was right. While I was reading her text, I thought of a way to try to reach my uncle. I went into the store and called him and he was willing to come and help me. On my way out of the store, I dug into my pocket, took the $0.31 out and dropped it in the bucket. I didn’t want to take any chances that being disobedient to the urge to give it the first time had caused my current trouble. As I sat and waited for my uncle to come to the store, I thought about what my friend said. I had made several stops during my trip. Most of them were not as close to my house as this last stop. Had I been further in town, my uncle might not have been able to reach me. Had I stayed home, and tried to start the car this morning when it was time for work and it didn’t start, it would have caused far more trouble. Sometimes, we just have to examine our perspective on a situation and find the places where God clearly shows His hand, so that we can give Him praise. There is more to this story. Tune in to Ms. EV’s blog tomorrow, for part two. Ms. EV I am just waking up from a mid-morning/afternoon nap after a night of Black Thriday shopping (I saw Thriday because it no longer starts on Friday, now it starts on Thanksgiving Day and continues through Friday morning). Now, I come from a family of deal hunters; not extreme couponers or extreme cheapskates, but deal hunters. I believe the reason my siblings and I always felt so well off growing up (even though we had no idea what my parents salaries were) is because my mother is so incredible at money management. She knows how to be sure that bills are paid and that we have all of our needs and most of our wants. She is...THE BARGAIN HUNTER.
So, every day after Thanksgiving since I don't even know when, we spread out the sales papers and plot our route of savings. I like to get all or as much of my Christmas shopping done as possible, and then, see if there is something on sale for such a good deal that I just must have it in my life. I am, however, as a result of many flawed spending habits in my past, pretty frugal, though, so I will only spend on myself if it is REALLY worth it. We layer up our clothes, and head out to stores in search of great deals. This year, for the first time in forever, I got everything I was looking to get and it was a great feeling. After the first leg of our shopping trip, I got another great feeling. We all went back to my parents' house to rest up for round two of our shopping trip. I just reflected on how great it felt to have most of my family under one roof for the night. With a nephew that's about to go to college next year, and just the business of life, it was nice to be surrounded by my family and I had to stop and thank God for that. But, as I woke up this afternoon, I realized, I got an even better deal. I got the deal of a lifetime when Jesus chose me. When He knocked on the door of my heart, and I answered, that was the best deal ever because honestly, without Jesus, I cannot even imagine what my life would be like. There are times now that I know that He is the only reason I still go on and survive. There are some things I don't share with everyone with which I struggle, and in the darkest of times, He is my hope for my future. And, get this, even though I will only purchase a deal if it is of great value or I really need it, God didn't look at me that way. Without Him, my life was worthless, but He still died for me. He definitely doesn't need me because He's God, but He still wanted me and chased after me. The best part is that even though, I stumble, I fall, and I fail, He doesn't return me or exchange me. He keeps me and He holds me and He loves me like no other, which is saying a lot because I come from a family filled with love and it still doesn't match the love that God shows me. Talk about an awesome deal. Ms. EV I love Walter Hawkins' music. It is timeless and relevant and pure true gospel music. One of my favorite songs of his is, "Be Grateful," I love to hear it and I love to sing it. This week I am reminded of the lyrics:
God has not promised me sunshine That's not the way it's going to be But a little rain mixed with God's sunshine A little pain makes me appreciate the good times. Being saved doesn't mean that there are no more problems. God's peace doesn't come from the absence of trouble, but from being safe in His Presence. The song reminds us to not just call on God in hard times and praise Him in good times, but to maintain a relationship filled with worship and adoration at all times. Further, the song reminds me that there are people who are facing issues much worse than mine: Be grateful because there's someone else that's worse off than you Be grateful because there's someone else who'd love to be in your shoes. I know of several people going through horrible personal tragedies right now. It doesn't mean that God loves them less than He loves me. It also doesn't mean that God cares more about their huge issues than my little issues. The Bible says, "Cast all you cares on Him; for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7. It doesn't say that God can only handle big issues. If you are a child of God and a problem bothers you; you can know it bothers God and He wants you to come to Him for a resolution. I often feel bad for taking my "small stuff" to God and then hearing that someone is going through literal hell on Earth. But, my mother reminds me that Gods wants us to give Him ALL of our burdens. The struggles of others remind us of all the good in our lives and give us an opportunity to serve our brothers and sisters through prayer and compassion. My favorite line of the song is the last one because it sums everything up with encouragement: Be grateful for it will be alright Whatever the situation, God has it under control. Even if you cannot think of a worse situation than yours, imagine if you had to go through it without God. Give thanks for having Him in your life. For, it will be alright. Ms. EV I woke up this morning, after enjoying sleeping in, and decided to try to beat the crowds and get all of the ingredients for my bake-a-thon (shameless plug: If you want to order holiday treats visit my Catering page). Anyway, I decided that I should look decent because you never know who you are going to run into during the holidays. This is the time of year when people have the day off or they are in town visiting relatives, so you just never know.
I was pulling into a parking space and I noticed this very nice looking guy, walking with a little girl who was probably about five or six years old. As he got closer, I realized it was someone with whom I went to high school and on whom I had a very, very BIG crush. He, like many others in my high school days, did not give me the time of day, but that was okay because he didn't really give any girls the time of day in high school. When we were in college, we kept in touch as friends, but after a couple of years we lost touch. I have seen him sporadically since I moved back home, but he's happily married with children, so he's most definitely off limits. Today, was the first time I have seen him in years, and there he was holding his little girl's hand and taking her to get her nails done. (Everyone say it with me, "Awwwwwwwwww!!!) I wanted to think, "I am so happy for him that he is a great dad," or something remotely spiritual, but all I could think was, "Why didn't he ever want me? Then, it might be my little girl going to get her nails done." I don't know this man's situation; I haven't spoken to him in over five years. But, in that moment, in my mind, his life was perfect and I just couldn't understand why I don't get to have what his wife has, which I think is the exact definition of coveting. Yes, I was delighted to enjoy my day off when I left my house, feeling blessed beyond measure, but when I saw him standing there, I just felt drained. Suddenly, all I could think of was everything I do not have. However, less than ten minutes later I was reminded of what I do have when I ran into someone who had a real reason to be sad. I am blessed with some pretty awesome people in my life; my family, my friends, my fellow church members. I am blessed with a home and enough of everything: money, food, clothes, shoes. If I need it, I have it. Are there things that feel like they are missing? At times, absolutely yes; especially, when I think carnally. But, when I reflect on God's promises, I can confidently say that I have everything I need for this season of my life. And, I am truly thankful for that! Ms. EV "...and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need.My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become." 2 corinthians 12:8-10 (The Message)
Different people have different ways of dealing with problems. When I was younger, I was prone to worry, but I learned in my late twenties that, as Dr. Phil says, "Worry is like rocking in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." Incidentally, Dr. Phil also says this about guilt and a couple of other things, but I digress. I have always admired how several people very close to me seem to never worry about problems. They seem to take adversity in stride with a smile on their faces and a song in their hearts. Then, there are others who skip straight past worry into all out panic. They scratch and claw desperately for a solution to the issue. Now, instead of worrying, I tend to ignore the problem, hoping that it will just go away. I do not recommend this particular coping mechanism. What I have found lately is that when I ignore a looming or lingering issue, it tends to sneak up and consume my thoughts when I least expect it. This happened to me just yesterday. I was getting ready to enjoy my day off when suddenly, I became paralyzed by fear and worry. I didn't utter a word. I couldn't utter a word. But, in my heart, I said, "Lord, I cannot do this. I do not know how to make it through this time. What am I supposed to do?" I felt completely helpless. I had this sudden feelings that all of my best efforts to be obedient were still not enough to get me out of a situation that I had hoped would just go away or be miraculously resolved. And, then, I gave up. I gave up trying to make things work out and just said, "Lord, you have to fix this because I can't." Later in the day, I received two blessings that directly related to my problem. No one knew what the problem was, but God. I knew I had reached my limit. I had taken all I could take and I had done all I could do. And, I believe that God was glad that I came to that revelation, so that I could get out of His way and let Him show me how much He loves me. And, He did. Not that He didn't already show it when He sacrificed His only Son, but He continues to show us in our daily lives, that He loves us. He is strong enough to take care of our every need. His grace is sufficient. If we would learn that it's alright to be weak and limited because our God is strong and limitless, imagine the miracles He could work in and through our lives. Ms. EV Yesterday was Veterans Day; today is the day that it is observed around the nation. As the daughter, sister, and niece of so many veterans, I have to take the time to say how grateful I am to those who have served and continue to serve in this great nation's armed forces. I know that I am not brave enough to make the sacrifices that these courageous men and women chose to make to protect my freedoms. I feel a very personal sense of gratitude towards everyone and anyone who has ever risked life and limb to fight for me, without even knowing me.
I am also grateful for the One who fought for me, even though He knew me. He knew exactly who I was and who I would become. He knew every trial I would face and every triumph I would gain. He knew every mistake I would make and every miracle I would need. Yet, He still fought for me. He knew that I would sometimes have doubts about if He was listening. He knew that sometimes I would have deficiencies in my learning. Nevertheless, He fought for me. Most would think that the biggest battle for me would be with the devil, but honestly, I think He had to fight me harder for me than He ever had to fight the devil. But, He fought for me. He died for me. He rose for me. He keeps me day by day. Even on a day like today, when I wake up feeling defeated, He gently whispers to me, "I'm fighting for you. You have not and you will not lose the battle. It is not your battle to lose; it is my battle and I never lose. Just hold on tight to My unchanging hand. You will make it!" The men and women who volunteer to serve this great country are worthy of honor. Whether they serve for one year or thirty years, they are willing to make a sacrifice that I cannot say that I was ever willing to make. So, I salute them! And, I give thanks and praise to the God who made them and made them so very brave. This same God who made them willing to fight for you and me also fights for you and me daily. We just have to turn the battles over to Him and let Him win! Ms. EV |
About Ms. EVWhen you have elevated values, it is not about being snobby; it is about living victoriously! Archives
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