I was preparing for bed the other night and my cat, Joy Bella, came into the restroom. She looked up at the counter, and then, looked at me. I pushed some items out of her way. Then, she sized up the counter again and hopped up on the counter. Her leap was so graceful and elegant. She does this all of the time, but that night, for whatever reason, I was amazed by it.
You see, Joy looked at the challenge (getting on the counter). She asked for help the remove the obstacle (my stuff was in the way of her safe landing). Then, she went for it! In that moment, I wished that I would have the courage that she displayed. Once, she knew that there was nothing to impede her progress, she jumped. When she jumps, it is as if she knows every time that she will land right where she is supposed to be. I, on the other, see a challenge. I try to avoid the challenge or deal with the challenge on my own. I do not like to admit that I might need help. Then, even if the obstacle is removed, sometimes I still tell myself all of the reasons that I cannot or do not deserve to reach my goal. Even though I have prayer and preparation on my side, I am sometimes still afraid to take the leap. It should be just the opposite. Because I know that God is with me, all of my leaps of faith should be effortless. That is not to say there will be no challenges once I leap. That is not to say that I should put myself in a bad position that is not the desire that God has for my life. What I am saying is that I should freely face the challenge and take the next step know that God is in control. If He is the one who told me to step out on faith and I am obedient, then there may be obstacles, but nothing will go wrong. So, what is it that you need to trust God for today? Whatever it is, I challenge you (and me) to LEAP!!! Ms. EV
0 Comments
Back in the day, on MADtv, there was a sketch called, "Lowered Expectations." It was a series of vignettes featuring what seemed to be the world's most undateable people. The premise of the sketch was that you called this hotline to meet someone, basically, after you have given up on your dream mate.
Well, there have been times in my life when I have been tempted to lower my expectations. As a matter of fact, there have been times when I have been begged to compromise my standards. I am 35, single (divorced) and childless, so it might seem logical to some that lowering my expectations might yield better results in my love life. But, here's the thing, my expectations are high because I know who I am and I know WHOSE I am. I am a daughter of the Most High God. Any man, who is meant to be with me, has to love me in the way that my Father does. And, He has to meet the standards that my Father has set. This is not a trivial matter of a list of qualities I prefer in a mate (although, I want those, too). And, honestly, as long as I have waited, I will hold out for what I desire because my Father promised me that He would give me the desires of my heart. Furthermore, this extends beyond dating and relationships. I will not lower my expectations for God's movement as it concerns any of my dreams: marriage, family, or career. Just because something does not pan out the way I envision, it doesn't mean that I should give up on God and lower my expectations. What it does mean is that what I wanted was not the best for me and I need to press in to God and expect even greater things to happen in ways that I could never imagine because His thoughts and ways are so much higher than mine! Do not EVER let anyone tell you to compromise, settle, or lower your expectations. God will do what He said He will do and He will BLOW YOUR MIND...hang on in there!!! Ms. EV I got a lot of fantastic and encouraging comments last week while I was showcasing my music at One Spark. But, the comment that had the most impact, and was spoken by more than one person was, "It's about time!" The context was different each time that the words were spoken, but, even though it sounds a bit like a dig, it was always encouragement.
For some, the statement meant that they were excited that I had finally gotten up off of God's gifts and started to do something with it. I have been singing since I was a teenager and writing since my late teens/early twenties. When I got out of college, I tried to do a couple of demos with some pop/R & B songs I had written. It did not work out. A little while later, I was invited to a gospel music conference where I one of my favorite gospel artists of all time and worked with another very successful gospel artist. I made a lot of contacts, but I still did not advance in my singer/songwriter career. A few years after that, my computer crashed. I lost all of my music, plays, poems, except for the hard copies of the music I had taken to the gospel conference. Since I didn't feel like my book was successful, and I had lost most of my hard work, I felt like God was telling me that this was not what He had for me. I quit. And, for about two years, the music stopped. Then, my grandmother passed away and I was in a pretty deep depression. At my lowest point, I thought about how disappointed she would be if I let grief take me out. So, one night, I decided that I no longer had any excuses. I always said that no one would listen to my songs because they had no accompaniment, so I bought a guitar. I used money as an excuse for not recording, so I saved up money to record one song at a time. I used the fact that I could not get signed or published as an excuse, so I started this blog for my writing, and I copyright and publish my own music for now. It's about time! It's about time I stopped letting excuses keep me from walking in the gifts that God has given me. It's about time that I took advantage of opportunities to spread the Gospel through music and writing. It's about time I started believing that my God is able to do just what needs to be done in my life for His purpose and glory. It's about time! Ms. EV Go with the Flow…what does that even mean? We hear people say it all the time “go with the flow” or “roll with the punches,” but how can we do that? Does it mean that we don’t think about what’s coming next? Are we just supposed let life happen? Should we not plan for tomorrow? I don’t know about you, but I’m just not very good at going with the flow. This is where the power of the Holy Spirit has to come in and rule in our lives.
There is no way that, of my own power, I can stop thinking and analyzing and trying to stop catastrophes (big or small) before they start. I am just not wired that way. But, thank God I don’t have to live this life by my own power. I have the Holy Spirit dwelling within, and right about now, I need some Jesus peace; the kind of peace that passes all understanding (even my own). Because I am tired of being tired. How about you? So, pray for me and I’ll pray for you that the peace of God will cover all of the broken pieces of our lives, so we can roll with the punches and go with the flow. Ms. EV I love to write! And, even though it may seem like it’s easy for me to share my writing because I blog and share my music, my writings are like my babies. Every time I share something, it is an act of obedience because, trust me, I do not share everything. Last year, I was asking God what to do with my music. I felt led to enter a couple of songwriting contests. Not to sound prideful, but I think my songs are great, and I needed to know how they stacked up against other writers. I needed to know what was working and what improvements could be made. So, I entered two songs in two different contests.
Each contest noted that it would provide a critique of the song. That was the scary part. I wanted brutal honesty because I want to learn and grow, but I did not want to hear anything I didn’t want to hear (you know what I mean). Well, last month, I got the results of the first contest. My song made the first two cuts. Of “hundreds of entries,” my song was among the top 45. When I looked at the critique, I could understand what the evaluator was saying and I will use the comments to help when I write more music. This week, I found out that my second entry did not even get honorable mention. I got the evaluation today and it was not very helpful. I was pretty bummed. Again, everything I write comes from my heart; so, to have someone give negative feedback would be like calling someone’s baby ugly. It just hurts. After I saw the critique, I went to lunch. I was waiting for my order, and I heard a student from my school say to me, “Oh my gosh, I just have to tell you this…,” so I looked up and saw her face beaming. I had no idea what was coming next. She continued, “I listened to all of your songs, and I love them! I especially love ‘Little Sister’!” For the second day in a row, someone complimented my music out of the blue. And, what made it even better was that Little Sister was the song that did not fare so well in the contest. One of the comments was, “An objective listener would not understand the vague lyrics.” But, this little girl understood the lyrics. But, wait, it gets better. This little girl has one of the most phenomenal singing voices that I have ever heard. She is a gifted and talented musician! And, God sent her to me less than an hour after I read the evaluation of my song. I am pretty sure I skipped out of the restaurant and to my car. I said this yesterday, but it can be repeated, God knows when we need encouragement. I am not, by any means, being proud and boastful, nor do I think I am all that. I know that God can make me so much better and that there is work to do. But, in getting two completely unsolicited compliments, it lets me know I am on the right track. It helps me to know that I need to keep pressing forward. There may be people who don’t like or understand what you are doing when you are on the path that God desires for you, but what they think of you is merely a matter of opinion. Listen to God. Obey Him. He will promote you at the right time and He will keep you encouraged along the way! Ms. EV In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days:
Supported IN God’s Lifting Encouragement – Jeremiah 29:11 At this point, I probably sound like I am all gumdrops and candy canes with a sickeningly sweet disposition all the time. This is just not the case. In fact, most people who know me would cackle at that very idea. I am a real person, not a God-robot. I have good days and bad days. I have ups and downs. Just because I can be content with being single does not mean that it does not bother me at times. I do not like being the odd-numbered wheel when I’m out with friends, but I have friends. I do not enjoy taking out the trash or maintaining my own car, but I can. And, when those things bother me, I am encouraged to know that God has a plan for my life. He does not want me to fail. I am a vessel for God’s glory, so my failure would not be a good testimony. God’s plans are not my plans. They are better plans; in fact, they are the best plans for my life. When I reflect upon that thought, I am lifted and encouraged, knowing that I am supported by God. Satisfied IN Giving the Lord my Energy – Psalm 37:4 God is a jealous God. I have read the entire Bible and one of the things that shouts out loud and clear is that God wants to be my focus. He wants my heart, my mind, my soul and my time. At first glance, that might sound overly-possessive, but I am His creation. The earth and everything in it belongs to Him, so He should be my first priority in life. That does not mean that I cannot love another person, or my family, my job or my church, but I cannot put any of those things before my God. I need to be satisfied with Him alone. Once, I am satisfied with Him, everything that He adds to my life is just icing on the cake. Ms. EV One of our favorite things to listen to on long van rides when I was younger was the “Bill Cosby: Himself” comedy tape. We listened to that thing so much we had the whole thing memorized. From “Dad is great…give us the chocolate cake” to Cosby’s impression of his wife, Camille, dealing with fighting children where she screams, “I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIIIIIIISSSSS!!!” That comedy tape is still hilarious to this today.
And, on one particular Monday, I felt a little like Camille except it wasn’t about my children (because I have none), it was about my current situation. I woke up this morning and almost immediately wanted to pull the covers back over my head and hide at home. I knew that I had so much work to do, most of which would not ever be appreciated by anyone. I also knew that I had to have an unpleasant, confrontational chat with my students, and I awakened to a text message that seemed to add something else to an already full plate. I think we all get a case of the Mondays, but this case had me wanting to tap out of the fight. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate and love my job. Well, I love the intent of my job because I have a passion for teaching people. It’s all of the other tasks that go along with my job that can make it overwhelming and unpleasant. I finally convinced myself to get up and prayed my way through my morning routine, so I could get out of the house. I usually listen to sports radio on the way to work, but my radio was still on the gospel station from Sunday, and I heard a song I liked so I stayed on that station all the way in to work. Just before I got out of the car, there was a mini-message from a local pastor. He talked about how we want to move forward, but many of us are not sure of when to move. He went on to say that when you’ve had enough of your current situation, it is time to move into what God has for you. This was a Word from God that I had been waiting on to confirm what I believed to be true about some projects I have in progress. I did not march up to my boss and quit my job. My to-do list did not disappear. However, I was able to thank God that my job is no longer comfortable. I was grateful for feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated because if I did not feel that way, I would not be motivated to pursue my dream of a music ministry or to continue writing as God speaks to my heart. If I was still comfortable where I am, I would never move. So, I am thankful that I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!! It challenges me to start building and start working on the next phase of the life God wants me to have and the dreams God wants me to pursue. And, if it is His will, my passions for writing and music ministry will also become my sources of income. But, even if I have to teach until I qualify for retirement, I am confident that God will still open doors and help me to use the gifts He has given me for His glory. Thank You, God, for confirming that now is the time to move, to press into You as I pursue the dreams You have given me. I am going to move forward and trust God because I have had enough! Have you? Ms. EV I am a HUGE NFL football fan. I am in love with my team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, even though, they have not been very good for the past several years. I am still loyal. I have season tickets. I watch every away game. I go to training camp and draft parties. I am the Official Fan Reporter for NFLFemale. As the Jaguars’ slogan for this year suggests, I am “ALL IN” when it comes to my team. The Jaguars finished with its worst record in franchise history this season. They won two games and lost fourteen. It was a long season.
Last year, the team that had that record was the Jaguars division rival, Indianapolis Colts. After coming off a 14-2 season, the Colts lost their franchise quarterback for the season, and ended up with the worst record of any NFL team in the 2011 season. Despite the fact that he had led the team to the playoffs the season before, the 2-14 record was enough to get the Colts head coach, Jim Caldwell, fired. So, the Colts started looking for a new head coach. One of the candidates they were pursuing was Chuck Pagano, the defensive coordinator for the Baltimore Ravens. The only issue was that the Ravens were in the playoffs, so the Colts had to wait to interview Coach Pagano. The Ravens made it all the way to the AFC Championship, where they would face the New England Patriots. But, for the Colts, time was running out to find a head coach, as they needed to be sure they had the proper staffing in place. The AFC Championship game was intense. A dropped touchdown down and a missed field goal ended the Ravens season in defeat and they were crushed. However, it meant that the Colts could talk to Chuck Pagano and they ended up hiring him as their new head coach. This past weekend, the Colts faced the Ravens in the first round of the 2012 NFL playoffs. When asked how he felt about the previous year’s defeat in the AFC Championship, Coach Pagano talked about how tough that loss was to swallow, but he went on to say that had it not been for that loss, he would not have been able to become the head coach of the Colts. His words really spoke to me. Sometimes, we focus so hard on the losses that we do not realize that they can be worked out for our good. If you don’t follow football, there are many examples in the Bible of much more devastating losses than a football game. Think of Job losing all of his family, finances, and fitness. Think of Joseph being thrown in a pit, and then, going to prison. Even though they lost and they had major disappointments, in the end, they gained so much more because God was with them and they were faithful. Now, if you know the story of Coach Pagano, you may know that he was diagnosed with cancer this season. You may ask how someone could consider that a victory. Well, for Coach Pagano, it did turn out to be a victory. With his family, his team and his community’s support, he went through grueling treatments for his cancer and he beat it. He never gave up. He hung in there and he inspired many people along the way. Sometimes, we have to lose so we can win. I’m not going to sit here and write that it doesn’t hurt or that it doesn’t suck. But, when we consider that everything is in God’s control and He has the ability to work every loss into a win, it is hard to stay bitter or discouraged. This year, when Coach Pagano came back to coach his team in the playoffs, he had a completely different perspective when they lost. And, we have to learn how to use our losses, our obstacles, our setbacks as stepping stones. God uses the losses to get us to the wins if we will submit to His will and let Him work, the losses in life help us prepare for the battles we are meant to win. They make us stronger, smarter, and more serious, so that we can be victorious! Ms. EV For the past several weeks, I have not been interacting very much on my personal Facebook page. I have posted the blogs and devotions of the Elevated Values page and I would read a couple of things that looked inspirational, but I didn't go through my news feed and all of my lists to see what was up with various people in my world. I do this every once in a while for my own mental health and well-being As much as I love staying in touch with friends and family, I have to take a break from the social network universe, have actual interactions with people and have some “me” time. Well, I should say “me and God” time.
Last week, I began to look at my new feed again, and over the weekend, I saw some distressing messages about a terrible instance of heartbreak. I felt so awful for the person who was going through this gut-wrenching situation because I understand what it feels like. I am still in the process of waiting for God’s answer for what the right words are to say to this individual if there are any right words at all. Having been through this, I know that when your heart is broken, whether by someone or some circumstance, it doesn't make you feel better to hear bad things about the person and it doesn't help when family and friends say hurtful things to the person because when your heart has just been broken there is still a part of you that hopes it’s all a terrible nightmare or that the person had a lapse in judgment and can explain everything so your life can get back to normal. I personally am not moved in those moments of heartbreak by encouraging words or fighting words, especially when I feel like my dream has just died. And, even more so, if my identity at that point in my life was wrapped up in that dream. So, what could I possibly say to this person who is experiencing the excruciating pain of heartache? I am not sure what will help this person. When I think back on my most painful experiences, I can only say that God got me through it. Left to my own devices, I would still be in the corner of a dark room somewhere bawling my eyes out until I ran out of tears. I have grown enough to know that crying in tough times does not mean that you don’t love God anymore. Remember, Jesus wept. Nonetheless, like my pastor preached from Job 1 on Sunday, though I was down and I grieved, I also worshipped. I did not leave God out of my grieving process. I went to church when I did not feel like it. I sang and prayed when I wanted to just cry. I clapped and lifted my hands even when I felt defeated. I did not give up on God because I knew He had not given up on me. Each time, the heartache went away and I felt stronger and closer to the Lord. But, there wasn’t a magical formula. There is no specific time period. Sometimes it was days. For other instances, it was weeks. Still for some, it was months. Nevertheless, He brought me through it all. I lived to love again and to dream again. Every day is not sunshine and rainbows and if my heart is ever broken again, I know where broken hearts should go. Humbly place yourself in the arms of the Healer of broken hearts, the One, true God. Ms. EV I woke up one morning with a poem and praise on my heart. I always sleep with either a pen and pad in my bed or my phone nearby ready to record a memo. Sometimes, I even have my laptop in my room for the occasions when I need to wake up and write. Whether it is in the middle of the night, early in the morning, or before I go to sleep, I want to be able to write what God gives me. Some of it is just for me and some of it is for sharing with others. And, as I wrote the poem that morning, and the words flowed from my heart, I realized what an awesome gift of gab God has bestowed upon me. Not that I am awesome, but that words are so powerful.
In my younger days, I realized the power of words, but did not use words in a way that was pleasing to God. When I was a little girl, I was tall, skinny, and awkward. I did not have a lot of friends because allegedly, I was also bossy. I was teased a lot in elementary school and middle school, and that was before I got glasses and braces. When I was very young, I learned a bunch of words, most of them with four letters, that I quickly found out made me very scary to others. Before I knew it, I could string those words together in such a way that no one was willing to go up against me. In high school, I was picked on because I “talked funny” and acted like an “Oreo” (in other words, I used proper English and took honors classes). When curse words were no longer strong enough, I started using my intelligence to find words that cut my bullies at the very core of their beings. Sometimes I won arguments by making people feel inferior and other times I won because they could not understand my insults. While gratifying at the time, I know it was not the correct thing to do. Yet, I still continued to be brazen with my words, especially in writing. Then, one day, in college I found myself locked in a room, while several girls waited in my living room wanting to beat me up over some of my comments. That was a wakeup call. We hear all of our lives that “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” but sometimes words are even more painful than sticks or stones. As you can see, I remember almost every insult anyone has ever hurled at me, but I don’t remember as many positive statements that have come my way. When I was older, I told my parents that as a child, I would have rather gotten a spanking when I did wrong than to hear either of them say, “You disappointed me.” Those words broke my heart. The Bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21), and yet we use words so cavalierly. If you do not believe that words are important, ask any couple that is on the verge of breaking up with one another. If you do not think that words are significant, speak to members of a family that have not spoken to each other in years. If you do not think that words are of great consequence, talk to someone who no longer feels like they can talk to God. Communication is at the center of every relationship in our lives. It is an awesome gift to be able to express ourselves, not only to God, but to everyone else who plays a role in our lives. Like any precious gift, we must be careful with our words because the wrong words can hurt rather than heal. The wrong tone of our words can injure rather than encourage. There is the old adage, “If you cannot say something nice, then do not say anything at all.” Those words of wisdom are not just for playgrounds. I am not saying to sugarcoat everything because sometimes people need to be corrected, but even correction can be delivered in a positive way with love. To sustain and improve all of the relationships in your life, use the gift of words wisely. Ms. EV |
About Ms. EVWhen you have elevated values, it is not about being snobby; it is about living victoriously! Archives
March 2016
Categories
All
Copyright Notice© Toni L. Wortherly and Ms. EV's Blog, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Toni Wortherly and Ms. EV's Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
![]() Ms. EV's Blog by Toni L. Wortherly is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. |