My parents have a Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes Greatest Hits CD and there is a song on it called, “Yesterday I Had the Blues.” I have no idea what the lyrics are, but the song is sung in such a melancholy tone and the chorus just repeats, “Yesterday I had the blues…” in this deep, depressing manner. Well, that is literally how I felt yesterday. Not all day. It was actually not until I got ready to go to sleep. I was talking to God, as I always do (not just before bed, but throughout the day), and, all of a sudden, I was crying.
I was so deeply saddened by my loneliness in that moment that I stopped talking and started crying out to God. Why does loneliness have to hurt so bad? Am I ever going to have my own family? Will there ever be someone lying next to me to hold me at night? Will I ever get to feel the safety of someone’s arms wrapped around me? Will I ever get to say silly things that only my husband understands? How long is this going to last, Jesus? And then, I took a deep breath, dried my tears and said, “I don’t know when or where or why or how or even what, but I know Who.” I still don’t know the answers to any of those questions today. But, I know Who does. I know that it is the same One who promised that all things will work together for my good. I know He has a plan for me. I know He will never leave me or forsake me. I know He will never put more on my than I can bear. I had to get up earlier this morning than usual and when I felt myself getting upset, I thought today would be a bad day. It wasn’t. It was actually a pretty darn good day considering I got little sleep and I am not a morning person. One of my friends even commented that I was smiling so early in the day and that it was scaring him. That’s what God’s peace does. It helps you say, “Yesterday, I had the blues…but today is a new day that God has made and I am rejoicing in it.” Ms. EV
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We have undoubtedly all heard the saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side." But, what exactly does this phrase mean. It usually means that from where you are standing, it seems the people around you have better everything. They have a better life, a better family, a better job, a better relationship. And, it's frustrating because you seem to be doing the same things, in fact, sometimes you're even doing better and you serve the Lord faithfully. Yet, they still seem to be getting the best in life while you are struggling to survive.
Most of my life I have been taught to ignore what other people have and that the grass only seems greener. But, a few years back one of our ministers shed some light on this popular phrase. He said that the grass really is greener and if you hop across the fence you'll see why. What's the best way to make grass grow? Fertilize it. What fertilizer makes grass all green and shiny? Usually, manure. So, when you hop over to "the other side" the grass is bright green, but you usually find yourself knee deep in...manure. The family with the fantastic house down the street is up to their eyeballs in debt. The woman whose husband is so perfect is cheating on her, or worse, he is abusive to her. The man at your job who got a promotion that you worked hard for stepped on so many people that they are plotting his undoing. Are we really sure that greener grass is what we want? Or, do we want the future and hope that God has promised us Have you ever wondered why God doesn't make things easier by telling us what will happen in the future? I'm not talking about the Revelation; I mean I know we win. I am talking about tomorrow or a few years from now. I am talking about God telling us if we will get married and when. If we will have children and how many. Have you ever thought about why God reveals the pieces to our life's puzzles little by little?
I know I'm not the only person who struggles with impatience and an insatiable need to know what lies ahead for me. Don't you sometimes wish that God would just tell you how something will turn out, so you don't have to face indecision or bad decisions? For instance, what if God would tell you the career that is best for you. Then, you wouldn't spend extra time in school, getting bad grades or constantly switching majors. But maybe you went through that because you needed to be more humble. Or, once you get to your dream career, couldn't God just show you how far you would go? Not likely because you might be too anxious too get there and try to take a short cut to the top. Ah, but what about relationships? I mean couldn't God have told me that my marriage wouldn't? Well, He did, but I didn't listen because I wanted to prove that I could make it work. Sometimes, God can't tell us where we are headed because there are things that He needs to fix in us, so we don't mess up our opportunities. Sometimes, when God does reveal something about our future, we try to make it happen instead of letting God control how it happens. Sometimes, we don't listen to what God does reveal because it is not what we want to hear. In essence, God won't tell us everything that will happen because we can't handle the truth. He gives us what we can handle and He knows what we can bear. Trust Him and be patient. The best is yet to come. Ms. EV These are definitely rough recordings (I just started playing guitar 6 weeks ago), but the praise is genuine... ![]()
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Copyright © 2012 Toni L. Wortherly
Lord, I’m thanking You Singing of Your grace Enemies tried to hurt me But stumbled on their face When I needed You, You were there Throwing the godless of their game, You wouldn’t let them get the best of me Erased them from the halls of fame I know it’s alright I know that I’m safe with You I know it’s alright I know I’m safe with you You’re a safe-house for the battered A sanctuary in bad times As Your child I can find rest in You The moment I arrive You keep Your eye on me Hear every whimper, every cry. I'll write the book on Hallelujahs; Because You dry my weeping eyes I know it’s alright I know that I’m safe with You I know it’s alright I know I’m safe with you All of my life I have been a whiner, I am growing out of it, but I still catch myself living a whining, worrying, why-oh-why lifestyle and throwing personal pity parties from time to time. Why is it that sometimes it seems that Christians are more comfortable living in a place of misery and unhappiness? Is it because we want sympathy from others? Is it because we feel like God owes us more than we have? What I do know is that when I am having a pity party, I reject every attempt by any other person to feel better. I don't want to feel better. And, maybe, that's why God doesn't answer some of our prayers. Because God knows when we want to be better and when we just want pity. He knows when we really want to do something about our circumstances and when we want someone else to take care of us.
We have to stop living defeated lives. There is nothing wrong with being mad or sad for a little while, but there is something wrong when a person who claims to love Christ and believes He loves her would rather stay down than get up and fight. And if you can't seem to fight, talk to someone; you may have a physical or mental issue that's causing you to feel the way you do. But, even if that is true, it's not an excuse to wallow; sometimes, we just need extra help getting back in fighting shape. Either way, we should never live as though we have been beaten because I read the end of the Book and it says that WE WIN!!! Have you ever been in a situation where your lips say one thing, but your heart says another? It happens to me all the time. Other people may not be able to tell when you are being genuine, but God is not fooled. I often hear people say, "God knows my heart." It is an expression that is usually used as an excuse for not going to church, not paying tithes or not confessing sin. Indeed, God does know our hearts, so why do we act as if we can fool Him as easily as we fool other people?
When I returned from summer vacation between my first and second years of law school, I had lost 200 pounds. I hadn't discovered a miracle diet and lost weight, but I had gotten a divorce and got rid of the person who was weighing me down. Some people said, "I can't believe you two got divorced, you were the happiest couple I knew." That's because I was the best actress they knew. But, God wasn't fooled by our carefully choreographed public appearances. God knew we were unhappy. We weren't just unhappy on the days we fought, but also on the days we pretended to make up. God knew what was going on in our hearts. And though, my mouth asked God to fix me and fix him and fix our marriage, in my heart, I wanted out and God knew it. It is impossible to hide your true feelings from God whether they are about another person, a task God has assigned you to, or how you really felt when you were doing something that no child of God has any business doing. I am not advocating divorce; there were very serious issues of abuse and infidelity that led to my divorce. What I am saying is to not hide behind empty words, so that you can fool the crowd. God knows how you really feel, so don't try to mask what your heart says. Ms. So I was typing on my computer and I saw the power cord, and I assumed that because the computer was still on, it was plugged in, but then the red battery light came on. So, I looked at the power strip and it was plugged into the wall, turned on and functioning properly, but when I inspected the power cord, I discovered that while it was close to the computer, it was not plugged in all the way.
It made me think about my life. I go to church every Sunday; I attend and sometimes teach Sunday school. I pray and I read the Bible. I sing and play gospel songs. But, there are those times, and I am sure I’m not the only one, when I just feel drained. I feel powerless, even hopeless at times. I feel like my power, my victory, is fading. Usually, during those times, I am feeling tired and empty because, although I am close to God, I am not really plugged in to His power. I am simply going through the motions of a routine or ritual, but not fully experiencing His grace, His mercy and His might. I am not fully engaging in my relationship with Christ, which is why I start to feel down. So, if you are feeling powerless, tired, uninspired, check your connection to your power source. Are you just close enough to see what your life could be like in the fullness of God? Or, are you plugged in to God and His greatness? Ms. EV God made each and every one of us. He may not be the Father of us all, but He is the Creator of us all. And, because He is omniscient, He knows everything there is to know about us. He created our personality and nothing we will ever do will surprise Him. While this fact is not a license to live in an ungodly manner, it does give us the freedom to be who God created us to be. It gives us the liberty to explore the strengths of our personalities. It gives us the comfort of being able to lean on God in our weakness. If God wanted us to all be alike, He would have done so, but instead He created us in His image with our own personality. So, if someone questions an aspect of your personality, do not let that cause you to feel defeated. Your Father knows who you are even when others cannot seem to understand. Trust God and ask Him to help you stand on the strengths that He has given you and use the talents that He has given you in a way that will uplift His Kingdom. We are a body that is made of many parts. If we were all hands or all feet, the Body of Christ would be useless. God knows this, so He gives each of us a distinct set of skills for His glory. Perhaps sometimes, we get upset that people don’t like who we are because we are seeking our own glory. So, be yourself; it is pleasing to God, your Creator to embrace who He created you to be. If anyone has a problem with who you are, kindly ask them to take that concern to God. Ms. EV
How do you make it through when you are so broken that you don't think that anyone could possibly put the pieces of your broken life back together. What do you do when you're feeling a little like Humpty Dumpty? There are many circumstances that shatter our lives. Some of us have been abandoned by one or both parents, by a spouse, or maybe by friends. Some of us have been molested by someone we know, or raped by someone we don't know. Some of us have been beaten down by the words and actions of someone who claimed to love us. some of us suffer from low self-esteem and shame. Some of us are our own worst enemy; victims of ourselves, our bad decisions, our mistakes, our bad judgment calls. Every time something bad happens, we break a little. The more devastating the circumstance, the more broken pieces.
Sometimes you feel so broken that you don't think you will ever reach your goals, or your purpose in life. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty back together and you've been through more than falling off your seat. So, how do you put the pieces back together? The answer is...you don't put the pieces back together. You can't. What you can do is sweep us those pieces into your hands and then place them in God's hands. He's the Master craftsman, He's got something even better than superglue for you. He'll give you a new Spirit, a new reality, a new life. Give God the pieces and He will put you back together better than you were before. Ms. EV |
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