I was on my way to church, and as I drove I noticed a work van in front of me. On the back of the van, it said, “HUSBAND FOR RENT.” My first line of thought was about how that might be nice. Like, if I had a social function to attend, and I could just call someone up and rent him for the night to help avoid all of the awkward “Why are you still single?” stares. My rented husband would have a very detailed background story on how we met, how he swept me off my feet, how he proposed, etc. You know, all of that stuff that people think is their business.
He would make every woman in the place jealous of me because he would be the perfect guy. If figure if I rented him, I must have picked out the perfect one, you know. I didn’t really work out how I would explain his sudden disappearance or why he was never at the house. Or, if I would have to just keep renting him until I really got into a relationship, which could also be very messy. As a matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the whole rent-a-husband thing was a little scandalous, dare I say, escort-ish! When I got closer to the van, I saw the Husband-For-Rent’s tagline, “If he won’t do it, I will!” I quickly realized that this service was for women who already had a husband or a man in their lives (I find that a little discriminatory, by the way). This service is for the women with a honey-do list that is too long for their honey to do. Well, what about me, Harpo?!?! I have a light bulb or two that need changing, a car that needs to be detailed and maintained, trash that needs to be taken to the compactor. I even thought about calling this so-called Husband For Rent and giving him a piece of mind about how he was discriminating against single ladies like me with that tagline. And, furthermore, who are these girlfriends and housewives who would dare bring another man into their home to outshine their current man; just ungrateful, I tell you! As you can tell, I can be a little overdramatic. I realized that I was ungrateful. I had to stop and thank God that I am able to do things like fix my garbage disposal when needed. I also had to thank him that when there is a chore that I cannot manage, I had never had to worry because my family has been there to help. Plus, I had to thank God that I have grown confident enough and content enough in my singleness that I don’t really care about awkward stares and questions in social settings. I don’t need to lie and front about my situation. I am single, I am blessed, and that is it. So, I guess I don’t need the services of a Husband for Rent. I would sure love a maid, though, but that’s a story for another day. Be blessed, Ms. EV
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