I woke up this morning, after enjoying sleeping in, and decided to try to beat the crowds and get all of the ingredients for my bake-a-thon (shameless plug: If you want to order holiday treats visit my Catering page). Anyway, I decided that I should look decent because you never know who you are going to run into during the holidays. This is the time of year when people have the day off or they are in town visiting relatives, so you just never know.
I was pulling into a parking space and I noticed this very nice looking guy, walking with a little girl who was probably about five or six years old. As he got closer, I realized it was someone with whom I went to high school and on whom I had a very, very BIG crush. He, like many others in my high school days, did not give me the time of day, but that was okay because he didn't really give any girls the time of day in high school. When we were in college, we kept in touch as friends, but after a couple of years we lost touch. I have seen him sporadically since I moved back home, but he's happily married with children, so he's most definitely off limits. Today, was the first time I have seen him in years, and there he was holding his little girl's hand and taking her to get her nails done. (Everyone say it with me, "Awwwwwwwwww!!!) I wanted to think, "I am so happy for him that he is a great dad," or something remotely spiritual, but all I could think was, "Why didn't he ever want me? Then, it might be my little girl going to get her nails done." I don't know this man's situation; I haven't spoken to him in over five years. But, in that moment, in my mind, his life was perfect and I just couldn't understand why I don't get to have what his wife has, which I think is the exact definition of coveting. Yes, I was delighted to enjoy my day off when I left my house, feeling blessed beyond measure, but when I saw him standing there, I just felt drained. Suddenly, all I could think of was everything I do not have. However, less than ten minutes later I was reminded of what I do have when I ran into someone who had a real reason to be sad. I am blessed with some pretty awesome people in my life; my family, my friends, my fellow church members. I am blessed with a home and enough of everything: money, food, clothes, shoes. If I need it, I have it. Are there things that feel like they are missing? At times, absolutely yes; especially, when I think carnally. But, when I reflect on God's promises, I can confidently say that I have everything I need for this season of my life. And, I am truly thankful for that! Ms. EV
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