Why speed dating instead of online dating? I have heard some positive feedback about online dating, but I have heard more negative feedback, so it is not something with which I am comfortable, but to each his or her own. Not to mention, every time I fill out one of those surveys on matching sites, it tells me I am too specific. Sorry if I know what I want; I have had plenty of alone time to figure it out. Also, like many of my male counterparts, I am a visual person and if a person is sitting in front of me, there is no mystery as to whether or not they are embellishing the truth about their outer appearance. I know it sounds superficial, but I am a human being and one of the many things I desire in a mate is that I am physically attracted to him. I also liked the idea of speed dating because it’s only six minutes per person, and then, if you don’t want to, you never have to speak to that person again. You also get to meet several people all in one setting instead of meeting one person at a time.
So, I arrived with no expectations and a sick feeling in the pit of my belly. The first bell rang, we were given our instructions, and then I met thirteen different men. And, when I say different, they were very different. I knew that only about half of them had a remote chance because that is how many appeared to be taller than me. However, the others were helpful in allowing me the opportunity learn how to talk to strangers, show off my sense of humor, and learn how to be cordial even when I want to run. Of the ones that met the height requirement, one was too old, three were not attractive for various reasons (i.e. not wanting kids, smoking, recently divorced and noncommittal), and that left three. I had great conversations with all three, which was a good start. As the process ended, I tried to reflect on what I learned.
First, I learned that I cannot be anyone other than who I am and there is nothing wrong with that. Next, I learned that even as the years go by, there are some things on which I am not willing to compromise and there is nothing wrong with that (see Superficial or Super Specific). I also learned that even though I took the initiative to attend the event, I still want to be pursued, so if someone wants to really get to know me, he will have to make the first move. Most importantly, I learned that I have to trust that God is not going to keep anything that is good for me from me.
It would be nice to write that I had this adventure and I met the man of my dreams, and we are experiencing this beautiful romantic courtship that I am sure will lead to marital bliss and a family of my own. But, the fact that I cannot say that does not mean that this was not a successful venture. I sat in a room full of strangers and had conversations; a few of them were uncomfortable, but most of them were fun. That is a victory for me. I did not have my security blanket people to help me (although my BFF was available by text in case of emergency), and I did not break out into hives or start hyperventilating. That was a success. I have no idea how or when I will meet my future husband, but I am so glad that I already know my Present Help (Psalm 46:1). With each day, we grow closer and I am confident that no matter what happens in my love life, I already have the Love of my life. Ms. EV