Around this time last year, I was doing a lot of self-reflection. I felt like my life was just going around in circles. It was boring, too routine. I thought I needed a challenge, something to shake things up. I was stuck in a rut. Well, as I discussed last Wednesday, in Jesus Will Work It Out, I took on the challenge of a new class believing that it would breathe new life into my passion for teaching. However, just like with law school, I found out very early on that this new class was not something that I wanted to do long-term. This leaves me stuck in a conundrum because a friend fought for me to get to teach the class, so I do not want to disappoint my friend, but I also do not want to continue to teach a class that makes me miserable. Please do not misunderstand me, though. No matter what teaching assignment I have whether I love it or hate it, I teach to the best of my abilities because the Bible says to do everything as unto the Lord. So, it’s not just about my preferences or enriching students lives, it is also about doing my best for God. So, here I am stuck in a conundrum and still stuck in a rut, but yesterday, I had an epiphany.
Since the beginning of this year, I have gotten back to focusing on music. I started learning to play the guitar. I started writing new songs and putting music to old songs. It has been truly fulfilling. Last night, I went to an amazing church service. The Word and the worship were so on point. In the middle of worship, as tears streamed down my face and the music pierced my soul, I wrote in my notes, “Lord, this is what I want to do.” I do not desire for people to praise me, but I want to write music that helps people tap into the power of praising God. I want to help people reach the full potential of true worship; worshipping in Spirit and truth. I can quit my job, take a new job, switch classes, but none of that will make me feel any better. The true reason for my rut was that I had abandoned what God had placed on my heart a long time ago. My pastor always says if you can’t find your passion, think of what makes you cry. That is where your passion lies. Nothing makes tears flow from my eyes like powerful music; music that makes you reflect on how good God is, music that makes you remember His grace and mercy, music that helps you realize how much He loves you. That is what was missing. I am passionate about shaping young lives in education, but my real passion is making music: singing, writing, and now playing.
My rut was never going to end as long as I kept tweaking surface issues in my life. Now, I have been reintroduced to my passion and reinvigorated towards my passion. Pursuing the gift that God has given me is what will make everyday of living my life enjoyable. A new song or a new melody can change the whole tenor of my day. So, if you are like I was and you are bored because your life has become routine, do not randomly change things about your job, your relationships, or your church. Discover or rediscover your passion. Pursue it in a way that you have never pursued it before. I am sure we have all heard that you can’t get what you’ve never gotten by doing what you’ve always done. Change the things that matter. When you use the tools and gifts that God gives you, it can enhance every part of your life. You do not have to be stuck in a rut. Ms. EV
Since the beginning of this year, I have gotten back to focusing on music. I started learning to play the guitar. I started writing new songs and putting music to old songs. It has been truly fulfilling. Last night, I went to an amazing church service. The Word and the worship were so on point. In the middle of worship, as tears streamed down my face and the music pierced my soul, I wrote in my notes, “Lord, this is what I want to do.” I do not desire for people to praise me, but I want to write music that helps people tap into the power of praising God. I want to help people reach the full potential of true worship; worshipping in Spirit and truth. I can quit my job, take a new job, switch classes, but none of that will make me feel any better. The true reason for my rut was that I had abandoned what God had placed on my heart a long time ago. My pastor always says if you can’t find your passion, think of what makes you cry. That is where your passion lies. Nothing makes tears flow from my eyes like powerful music; music that makes you reflect on how good God is, music that makes you remember His grace and mercy, music that helps you realize how much He loves you. That is what was missing. I am passionate about shaping young lives in education, but my real passion is making music: singing, writing, and now playing.
My rut was never going to end as long as I kept tweaking surface issues in my life. Now, I have been reintroduced to my passion and reinvigorated towards my passion. Pursuing the gift that God has given me is what will make everyday of living my life enjoyable. A new song or a new melody can change the whole tenor of my day. So, if you are like I was and you are bored because your life has become routine, do not randomly change things about your job, your relationships, or your church. Discover or rediscover your passion. Pursue it in a way that you have never pursued it before. I am sure we have all heard that you can’t get what you’ve never gotten by doing what you’ve always done. Change the things that matter. When you use the tools and gifts that God gives you, it can enhance every part of your life. You do not have to be stuck in a rut. Ms. EV
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