Has anyone ever heard that saying, "Your perception is your reality"? I have and I have come to know what it means in many situations. It goes something like this, and I am speaking from my own experiences, so please do not think that I am trying to interpret your reality. You have a conversation with two people about the same issue, and it seems like they are talking about completely different instances. Or, you personally have a conversation with someone, and you both walk away thinking that the converstion had different outcomes. In my observation, when we communicate, we hear what the other person says, but we listen to our perception of what that person said and how we think they feel behind what they said. Here is another situation that I know I do all of the time. You have an issue with someone and you want to do the right, Christian thing to do and talk with them about the issue, but before you talk to them, you have the conversation in your head, anticipating what they might say, so by the time you actually talk to them, you are fired up about the statements they made in your imaginary conversation.
If you have not been in any of these situations, maybe you have been on the other end. Have you ever had someone close to you be mad at you for what you deem is "no reason"? Have you ever found that people who barely know you seem to not be able to stand you and you have no idea why? All of these situations stem from perception versus reality. For example, many people I work with and go to church with have felt that I am mean, arrogant, self-absorbed, standoffish, antisocial because they have no idea that I am intensely introverted (I am not hiding behind it; it is who I am and anyone who has a problem with my personality should talk to the One who crafted it). Anyway, I have learned that I need to explain my nature to people because no matter how I try to combat what they perceive me to be, that version of me has become their reality. I would submit that if you have a problem in a relationship, with anyone --friends, family, spouse, significant other-- it my stem from your perception of the other person or their perception of you.
When God looks at us, He only sees the reality of what we say, do and think. He does not perceive us to be anything that we are not. He can see our next thought, word and action before it even happens. And, I am grateful that even though He is omniscient, He still loves me. We should strive to be more like that in our relationships with each other. I admit that it is difficult, but it could save some of your most precious connections. Ms. EV