Back in the day, before it skipped five years and got weird, I watched the show Desperate Housewives. It followed the paths of four friends who lived on the same street and were all experiencing varying degrees of marital dysfunction. It, and many other shows like it, portrays issues that might cause one to consider never getting married; they make the institutions of marriage and family seem like some cruel joke. I know that each family faces its own set of difficulties, but it does not stop me from wanting a family of my own.
One morning on the radio, the topic of the day was, “When I graduated from high school, I thought I would be a _____________, but I ended up being a ___________.” So, of course, I talked back to the radio. When I graduated from high school I thought I would be a high-powered attorney, wife and mother to three or four children, but I ended up being a divorced high school teacher with a very spoiled cat. The good news is that I have recently discovered that, despite my life not being how I envisioned that it would be, I am no longer desperately seeking the things that are out of my control. There was a time when I wanted a husband and children so badly that I married the wrong person because I feared he would be the last one to ever ask. There was a time when I was willing to compromise my morals and do what I knew was wrong in the sight of God just to feel loved because I felt I had to give in to temptation to keep a man in my life. There was a time when I was willing to look past what I desire in a mate for the sake of going on a date because I did not know if I would ever date again. But now, I am so filled with Love from the inside that the desperation has dissipated. I am willing to wait for the person that I have asked God to provide for me. I am willing to live alone, sleep alone, and eat alone because I know that God has me right where I need to be. I also know from reading the Bible that God never refused to provide, for people who followed His Word, after a famine was over. Does it hurt some nights? Absolutely; it hurts some days, too, but I know my role in how I got where I am, so I know it could be much worse and I praise God for His mercy. Desperation can lead to life-changing decisions, and not in a good way. It can lead to infidelity, violence, promiscuity. It can lead to behaviors that have hazardous results. Desperate is not cute on a woman (or a man). The only thing any of us should be desperate for is more of God; more time in His presence and more intimacy with Him. Ms. EV
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