This morning on the radio, the topic of the day was, “When I graduated from high school, I thought I would be a _____________, but I ended up being a ___________.” So, of course, I talked back to the radio. When I graduated from high school I thought I would be a high-powered attorney, wife and mother to three or four children, but I ended up being a divorced high school teacher with a very spoiled cat. The good news is that I have recently discovered that, despite my life not being how I envisioned that it would be, I am no longer desperately seeking the things that are out of my control. There was a time when I wanted a husband and children so badly that I married the wrong person because I feared he would be the last one to ever ask. There was a time when I was willing to compromise my morals and do what I knew was wrong in the sight of God just to feel loved because I felt I had to give in to temptation to keep a man in my life. There was a time when I was willing to look past what I desire in a mate for the sake of going on a date because I did not know if I would ever date again.
But now, I am so filled with Love from the inside that the desperation has dissipated. I am willing to wait for the person that I have asked God to provide for me. I am willing to live alone, sleep alone, and eat alone because I know that God has me right where I need to be. I also know from reading the Bible that God never refused to provide, for people who followed His Word, after a famine was over. Does it hurt some nights? Absolutely; it hurts some days, too, but I know my role in how I got where I am, so I know it could be much worse and I praise God for His mercy. Desperation can lead to life-changing decisions, and not in a good way. It can lead to infidelity, violence, promiscuity. It can lead to behaviors that have hazardous results. Desperate is not cute on a woman (or a man). The only thing any of us should be desperate for is more of God; more time in His presence and more intimacy with Him. Ms. EV