For much of my life, I was known as a worry wart. Not the kind of worrying normal people do, but I had a paralyzing sense of fear over the smallest details. In my mind, little problems turned into catastrophes in a nanosecond. For example, if there was thunder, I thought the sky was falling. If I felt sick, I thought it was an incurable disease. When I was a senior in high school and had not ever had a real boyfriend, I thought no one would ever love me or want to marry me. When I was younger, I thought everyone thought this way.
About ten years ago, my anxiety had such a tight grip on me that I suffered from insomnia and paranoia. I finally decided, with the help of some of my inner circle, that it could not be normal, and I sought help. After some therapy, I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. I was so conflicted about this diagnosis because, as a Christian, we are not to have fear or anxiety or worry. But remember, those of us who are saved, are in this world, but not of this world. As long as we are a part of this world, we are subject to the trouble of this world, which includes illness – even mental illness. But, praise God that He created doctors, therapists, and medicine. There is no shame in seeking help. It does not make you less of a Christian. That is something that the devil would have you believe, so that you can stay sick. I knew that there was an issue, so I followed the treatment plan of my doctor, and I got the issue under control.
I have been fine for years, but just this week, I started to feel that old familiar feeling of paralyzing, worrisome thoughts. Only this time, I knew that it was irrational and it was nothing but the devil trying to distract me and throw me off my path. How do I know this? Because the anxieties that were, and still are, going through my head are blatant lies. And, I know that there is nothing to even be concerned with because God, my Father, cannot and does not lie. And, God, my Father, has told me that I have nothing to worry about or fear. And, God, my Father, has told me that He will never let anything happen to me that I cannot handle. And, God, my Father, told me that He will never leave me or forsake me. So, anytime thoughts cloud my mind about having a desperate need or being devastated or abandoned, I know they are lies and God does not lie. Ms. EV