So, in this scenario, if the sibling receiving the item would prefer to have a different item, but has no leverage, the phrase, “Beggars can’t be choosers,” is often used. What this means is that, because one is in a needy position, he or she should be content with whatever item is acquired. After all, he or she is the one in need with nothing to offer in return. How then does someone with nothing to offer have the audacity to make demands about a loan or a gift? Having been in this situation with family members, friends, and students, I understand what it is like to offer assistance to someone who is in need only to have them tell me that they want something more or different. So, I get why people use this phrase in certain contexts. However, this idiom should never be used toward or by someone who is waiting on God for a blessing.
It occurs to me, as I expand my visibility in the dating world, that I have a very specific “someone” for whom I am waiting. If you pinned me down, I could make a list, but honestly, I just know if someone will be a good fit for my quirks. I actually am glad that I have a lot of idiosyncrasies. It narrows down the amount of people I have to wade through to get to the right one. I am beginning to think that there may actually only be one person who can fit the mold. And, that is fine by me because: a) I only need one person to fit the mold; and b) I will know that this person is sent by God because it is really difficult to be the person I desire to have in my life.
I am 34 years old. I am divorced and I have no children and a ticking biological bomb (yes, I meant to say bomb and not clock). I would love to have someone with whom I could go to dinner or cuddle on the couch or go to karaoke or sporting events. But I am not a beggar, and therefore, I can be a chooser. I once was a beggar. I was a desperate girl who just wanted to be in a relationship, so I compromised. I compromised who I was, what I wanted in life, what I deserved and what I believed in on more than one occasion for the sake of not being alone. But, at this point in my life, I have been alone for so long, that it would just seem silly to start making compromises now.
I hear this all the time, “I’m not saying lower your standards; I’m just saying be more open. You never know where love will come from.” Um, actually, I do know where love comes from; it comes from God. He is the same God that I talk to all day every day; the same God that knows me inside and out and know that I am weird--er, um unique. God knows exactly what I want and what I need. I don’t think I hear Him saying, “Girl, sending you a man that fulfills all of your desires is just too hard for Me. Can you ease up a bit?” Rather, I think God is saying, “I made you who you are and I know you. You will know who to choose because you will know that I sent him because he will be the perfect one for you.”
My best friend says, “Every pot has its lid.” And, I cannot help but think of my parents, who have been together for thirty-nine years. They are so different from each other, but they understand each other’s quirks and they are each other’s best friend. They don’t try to change each other. Okay, well my dad tries to get my mom to try weird food, but he would never leave her because she is not like him and vice versa. I am not a beggar, and beloved of God, neither are you. So, wait for what you want. Being a chooser does not make you uppity, suddity, bourgeois, or ungrateful. It makes you a human being who knows what he or she wants and trusts God to deliver on His promises. Now, run and tell that! Ms. EV