Pray While You’re Prey Weekly Devotions for Singles
When I was younger, I love Janet Jackson’s music. The first song I remember getting down to was “Control.” When I was 17, I did what people told me Did what my father said and let my mother mold me But, that was long ago…I’m in control! The song came out well before I was seventeen, but oddly enough, when I was seventeen, I made a choice that would change my life completely. I had graduated from high school and I was in my first serious, long-term relationship (okay, it had been four months, but when you’re a teenager, that’s long term). I really loved this guy and we were going to get married, but we had to go finish college first before we could actually get married. Now, I had vowed to God to remain pure until I was married. God had helped me out by not allowing me to have a real boyfriend until I was nearly an adult. But now, I was in a relationship that I knew would last forever and we were committed to each other; we just couldn’t get married because of school, so it was almost like we were married just not on paper. It’s amazing, as I write it, now it seems like a completely irrational justification for sin, but then, I think I truly believed it. I think I really believed that going to get married and being married were the same thing, so I broke my vow to God to stay pure. I put my relationship with my beau before my relationship with Christ because I was in CONTROL! Clearly, because I am writing this devotion series for singles, that relationship did not last forever. It took a while for me to regain control over my physical urges, which led to too many ill-advised relationships (one is too many, so don’t sit there and try to figure out a number). When I wrote Pray While You’re Prey, I was abstinent and vocal about it because, with God’s help, I had come back to my senses and chose to avoid sexual immorality, which is God’s will. And, just to be clear, premarital sex is included in sexual immorality. Nevertheless, as I stated in the book, I was not in any real relationship, so I had not been tested. And, when I did get into a real relationship again, I stumbled again. Why? Well, even though I was in control of my decisions, I clearly did not have control over lust and trust. The lust part is self-explanatory. I was, at the time, old enough to know that I should not put myself in a compromising position. But, older is not necessarily wiser, and sometimes, we think we know our boundaries and we can stop the inevitable at any point, but I am a witness that doing so is nearly impossible. Plus, when it comes down to it, I did not trust God. I had been in a four year relationship dry spell. I had finally met someone with whom I could see forever, and I did not want him to leave me. Had I trusted God, I would have placed the relationship in His hands and said, “Lord, Thy will be done.” But, I could not take the risk that His will was for me to be alone again, so I blatantly disobeyed God’s will in order to keep my man. Again, obviously, that did not work out too well because I am writing this devotion. Call me old-fashioned, but I do not think that men and women realize the spiritual impact of sex. We know the physical impact. We can most times calculate the emotional impact, but there is a spiritual impact as well that seems to be ignored. For me, submitting to the lust of the flesh caused significant spiritual damage. I did not think that God would or could love me again, but I am so glad that I was wrong. Not only does He love me, but now I have truly placed Him in control because the only way for me to control my body is with His help and His guidance. Abstinence is not impossible with God. Surrender control to Him and He will help you through this time of singleness and temptation. Prayer Thank You, God for being willing to take control over my life. Please forgive me for thinking that I could handle physical urges and passionate lust on my own. Lord, please help me to be wise enough to avoid compromising situations and to trust that You know what and who is best for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen *Scripture quotations are from the New International Version ©1984, unless otherwise indicated.
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Pray While You’re Prey Weekly Devotions for Singles
At least three or four times a week, I see a Living Social or Groupon offer for a discounted workout opportunity. There are usually offers for yoga or Pilates classes, or maybe a 5-week boot camp, or some even offer for you to pick a combination. I have never really been an athletic person. I love watching sports, but the fact that I hate sweating pretty much hinders any actual playing of sports. I have come up with pretty much every excuse in the world as to why I do not work out. I have gone through different weight cycles in my life. First, I was a stick figure until I was about 22. Then, I got married and gained about 20 pounds. Then, I got divorced and I lost 185 pounds (that’s a joke; you can laugh). I actually lost about 25 pounds. It’s amazing what stress, not eating and going to the gym way too much will do. Eventually, when the whole divorce was settled and I was comfortable in my own skin, I gained back the weight I had lost, plus some. Every time I gained weight again, it got more and more difficult to lose it and keep it off. Eventually, I just decided on an acceptable weight and I figured out ways to stay as close to that weight as possible. In recent years, my body has given me the best excuses for not working out. Due to a couple of genetic conditions, I have to be very careful about how much strain I put on my knees and my back. I have to be very cautious not to become a complete couch potato, though because I do want to be as healthy as possible. During the school year, I make sure I walk very briskly around campus at least twice a day. During the summer, I make a weekly trip to the gym with my mom, so my muscles don’t become too weak. There is a combination of what we take in and how we exert our energy that keeps everything in check. I choose to be more vigilant about my food intake, others may choose to work out more, so that they can eat. It is not very hard to maintain physical fitness if one determines what he or she can do and is willing to do to stay in shape. Emotional fitness seems to be a little trickier. I have had three really big breakups, and, just like my weight cycles, each time a major relationship ended, it was more and more difficult to bounce back. I have discovered, though, that emotional strength and physical strength are both byproducts of what you take in and how you exert your energy. When I would take in what society expected for me as a woman, i.e. how to dress, how to talk, how to look, how to date, it was overwhelming. When I spent all of my energy just trying to find the next man who could be my husband, it was exhausting. There were times when I thought I would never survive being single. However, when I started getting a daily diet of God’s Word and started focusing my energy on using the gifts He had given me, I started to feel stronger and stronger. I still have some down days, but those are the days when I need to do a little more intense workout; I need to pray more, read more, listen more. I have read Philippians 4:13 all of my life, but in my seasons of singleness, it has had more relevance to me than in any other times. Where I am weak, God is strong, so as I continue to use His Word and prayer to emotionally and spiritually workout, He gives me the strength I need to make it through each day. He helps me to not focus on singleness, but on the work He would have me do for the Kingdom. Just like I don’t care to sweat in a physical workout because it makes me feel yucky and gross, there are times when I don’t feel like being alone and I am mad because I feel yucky and gross, but being alone is exactly where God needs me to be, so that I can live my best life. He needs my focus and attention, so that I can be fruitful and fulfill His purpose for my life. So, He will give me all the tools I need, if I will use them, to gain the strength it takes to keep pressing. And, He will do the same for you if you will allow Him to lead your emotional and spiritual workout. Prayer Thank You, God for accepting me as Your own, and as such, giving me everything I need to survive. Please forgive me for paying more attention to what others think I should have or what I think I need. Lord, please help me to listen to Your voice and to engage in emotional and spiritual workouts when I am feeling weak. In Jesus’ Name, Amen *Scripture quotations are from the New International Version ©1984, unless otherwise indicated.
Pray While You’re Prey Weekly Devotions for Singles
Every artist hopes to create a masterpiece; that one original work that will no doubt make the world stand still and notice. It is a work so original that no one will dare compare it with any other because there is nothing of its kind. It stands alone and is taken just for its own beauty, its own decadence, its own wonder. No matter the medium every artist tries over and over again until he or she has finally made the piece of work that defines his or her talent. And, an artist is fortunate if he or she has one masterpiece, but some of the greatest creative minds have more than one. God, the ultimate Creator, has many masterpieces; too many to number. Anyone who finds his or her fulfillment in living the life that God has for him or her is one of His masterpieces. As such, as the Scripture suggests, each of us is an original. There is no comparing my life to your life. There is no time for that. There is time, however, to explore every intricate detail of ever unique quality that God has given you…especially, if you are single. God has sewn each of us together in such a particular way that when we tap into the greatness for which He has called us, we can be an amazing asset to this world and more importantly to the Kingdom of God. However, we get so caught up in what others are doing, what gifts they have, what talents they possess, or what people surround them, that we downplay how marvelous God has made us. We must stop comparing. If we choose to live a life led by the Spirit and really work every detail of our lives according to His plan, then we have to trust that He has given us what we need in every moment of every day of our lives. We must not yield to the temptation to say that another of God’s masterpieces is greater or has it better because they have something that we desire. We must focus on our own mission, our own imprint in this world, and the impact on society that God has chosen for us. The season of singleness gives ample opportunity for this exploration. Much like we would not compare works of Picasso to those of Beethoven because they are completely different genres, we cannot compare ourselves to another Christian, or non-Christian for that matter and say that God may one more special than the other. God knows every one of our capabilities and vulnerabilities and He is able to use it all for His glory. He can take each of us and make a masterpiece if we will surrender and only compare ourselves to the example of Christ, and not other people. Prayer Thank You, God for making me an original. Thank You for having a specific plan for my life. Please forgive me for comparing my life to the lives of others. Please forgive me for downplaying your ability to make me into a masterpiece. Lord, please help me to focus on being the person that you need me to be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen Pray While You’re Prey Weekly Devotions for Singles
It seems like I have been thinking about not being single from the day I hit preschool. I still remember my first little crush at the daycare center. We chased each other around the playground, giggled and laughed with each other all day. I just always felt like I was not meant to be alone. In middle school and high school, I was just plain boy crazy. I prayed and prayed that God would send me a boyfriend. I was so boy crazy that, looking back, I am glad that I was nerdy and unattractive because if I had gotten the attention I so desperately craved from a guy, I probably would have given him anything he wanted in return. Fortunately, I was nearly an adult when I made the choice to disobey God and give away my virginity. That decision caused some pain and anguish, but not nearly as much as it would have if it had happened earlier in my life. While that decision was a bad one and it strained my relationship with God, I, eventually, got on the right track. I knew that I wanted to be married. So, I prayed and prayed that God would send me a husband. And, I thought He did. After all, I met my ex-husband at church. Nevertheless, I realized that my decision to marry him was a huge mistake. I was not waiting on the Lord so much as I was just waiting on someone to be willing to marry me. After my marriage, I slipped backwards a bit, but eventually found myself back in a place of obedience. I still wanted to be married; forever married. So, I kept asking and asking. And, I met someone with whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life. Then, I prayed and prayed to God to let him be the one. I asked God, correction, I begged God to let him ask me to marry him. That never happened and the relationship ended. I was crushed. At that point, I just wanted God to make the hurt go away. So, I started talking to Him and I started listening to Him. And, I am not sure when it happened, but one day, I stopped asking. It had been part of my prayers for so long, “And, Lord, please send me a boyfriend…a husband…someone to love me like you love me.” I had felt like once I had a mate, my life would be complete, but after spending time just communing with God, I finally realized that, with Him, my life is already complete. I didn’t have to ask anymore. All I had to do was waiting. And, in my waiting, He would strengthen me. Yes, there would be times when singleness would test my limits, but not to the point of disobeying God and trying to get Him to do my will. I learned to stop asking for what I wanted for me and what God wanted from me, so that I could get what I wanted. I started asking Him what He wants for me. And, I learned how to wait. I do not always like waiting, but I have been waiting for so long, and I have been blessed so heartily in the midst of my waiting, that it seems silly not to continue. We must know and trust that God knows and wants what is best for us. I still ask God for things, even occasionally for a mate, but it is no longer my number one prayer. And, I have certainly learned to wait for His answers to all prayers. Prayer Thank You, God for the wisdom to know that You know what and who is best for me. Please forgive me for trying to answer my own prayers rather than waiting on You. Lord, please help me to remember to ask that Your Will be done in my life, not mine. In Jesus’ Name, Amen *Scripture quotations are from the New International Version ©1984, unless otherwise indicated.
Pray While You’re Prey Weekly Devotions for Singles
They (the proverbial ‘they’ of whom no one really knows the identity) say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It is kind of a rallying cry for the stormy times of life. It is the comfort in knowing that a trial might take you to the brink of death, but on the other side of it, you will be better, wiser, stronger, and able to face even more challenges of life. I don’t know about anyone else, but there have been times when my life felt like loneliness itself would kill me. It did not feel like it would make me stronger at all. It felt like I was getting weaker and weaker by the moment. There was even a time in my life when I considered hurting myself, so that those I loved would have to surround. The possibility of death seemed, but a mere inconvenience to my plan. I felt that if I succeeded the loneliness would end because I would be surrounded by people who cared about my life. And, if the plan took a left turn and I did not survive, I would never feel the pain of loneliness again. I am well aware of how irrational that line of thinking was, but at the time, I was so depressed that it actually made sense. I truly considered letting my loneliness take complete control of my life. The interesting thing about that time in my life was that I was actually in a relationship at the time. So, one might be able to imagine how much more lonely it feels to be single. Even though, God had shown me in that instance that all I needed to know is that He is there for me, caring for me, and that He has my best interest in mind, there are still times when it feels like being single is going to be the end of me. There are times when I feel that if I am not touched, held, or caressed, I will just wither and die. There are times when I just feel the weight of loneliness bearing down on me so powerfully that it feels like I cannot breathe. But, every time that happens, I survive. What’s more is that I survive with a testimony. As the psalmist wrote, I realize that I will not die but live. Furthermore, I live to proclaim that being single will not kill you. It may seem like it will at times, but those are the times when we must press in to Jesus’ loving arms a little more. The times when no one will answer the phone or no one seems to be available to lend a shoulder on which to cry are the times in my life when I have experienced the most intimacy with my Savior, God. They are the times when I know He is there. They are the times that confirm that where my strength ends, His strength begins. It is okay to cry out to God in your loneliness. Even Jesus cried out to Him in His darkest hour. It does not mean that you will no longer be single, but He will give you what you need to feel able to keep pushing forward in the life that He has planned out for you. It will be a life that is full of more than you could imagine; a life that will bring glory to His name. You will live and not die. Prayer Thank You, God for showing me that being single will not kill me even when I think it will. Please forgive me for allowing my loneliness to make me think irrationally about how much You love and care for me. Lord, please help me to understand the purpose of this season and to live in that purpose for Your glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen *Scripture quotations are from the New International Version ©1984, unless otherwise indicated.
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