Week Thirty One
Who Says You’re Not Good Enough
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Quote from Pray While You’re Prey:
“I have had the occasion to think that I was the bottom of the barrel. I wasn’t pretty enough; I was book-smart, but not street smart enough; I just wasn’t…enough.”
People who know me now would never know that, for most of my life, I struggled with self-esteem issues. If I am being honest, when I look back at my relationship mistakes and failures, many of them stemmed from the fact that I undervalued myself.
Growing up, I was tall and lanky. In kindergarten, I was scolded by a teacher because she thought I was supposed to be on the big kids’ playground, not the kindergarten playground. It seemed like I was about a head taller than everybody else. To exacerbate the situation, I had some health problems and was quite sickly, so I was ridiculously skinny. And, I had eczema, so when my skin wasn’t dry and flaky, I had scars from scratching all my itches. I was quite the awkward child. I had no fashion sense whatsoever. I was smart, but I quickly learned as a little girl (from my peers, not my parents) that intelligence is intimidating, not attractive. By fifteen, I had glasses and braces, and, needless to say, no boys were knocking down my parents’ door to try to take me out on a date.
I made up for feeling inadequate by trying to outperform and out-achieve others. I was an honor-roll students, participated in plays, represented my high school on the mock trial team, and placed in our school’s pageant. I won scholarships, got into every school for which I applied for entry. The list went on and on because I thought that doing all of these things would make me feel like I was good enough.
My parents made every effort to tell me how great I was and that I could do anything. Unfortunately, their praise and pep talks were drowned out by all of the negativity that perceived was coming from my peers. When I got older, and out of my very long awkward phase, the pendulum swung in the completely opposite direction. I went right past self-esteem into pure, unadulterated conceit. I was pretty and I felt pretty and people (meaning guys) started to notice. But, that inner awkward girl was ill-prepared to handle the attention gained by her cocky counterpart. I did whatever I needed to do to keep the attention because I thrived on getting attention.
It wasn’t until recently that I discovered that the only One I truly need love from is my Heavenly Father. He is the only one that I should be working and living for, and not so He can give me praise, but at a testimony of praise back to Him for all He has done in my life.
The reality is that, regardless of what we look like, how smart we are, how accomplished we may be, God, the Father, knew that spiritually, we were not good enough to receive His love. And yet, while we were still not good enough, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice for our sins to unite us with Him. He does this so that those who believe in Him can be good enough and live lives that are more than enough through Him, here on Earth and for eternity in Heaven. If He loved us that much, when we really were not good enough, who is anyone else to say that once we are His, we are not good enough? Is there really anyone’s opinion that matters more to you than God’s? Who said you were not good enough? Family? Friend? Enemy? You?
Well, I have news for you, friend, God says, “You might be all messed up, but I sent My Son to clean you up before you even asked or accepted it, and I offered it because I love you.” You don’t have to get better, live better, or do better before you come to Christ. He accepts us as we are and heals and delivers us into being better. No one who claims to love you should ever make you feel that you are not good enough, including yourself. God does not lie and He said that you were good enough to love when He sacrificed His Only Son.
Thank You, God for loving me
before I knew how to love You or even love myself.
Please forgive me for placing the opinions of others
higher than Your opinion of me.
Lord, please help me to know that I am loved and lovable
despite what my circumstances look like.
In Jesus’ Name,
*Scripture quotations are from the New International Version ©1984, unless otherwise indicated.