A Time to Love
“There is a time for everything…a time to love…”
Quote from Pray While You’re Prey:
“…if God desires someone to be in my life, He will not keep that person from me.”
Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock! When I was younger, I did not really believe that there was such a thing as a biological clock. I just thought that this concept of some annoying, nagging urging to settle down, get married and have babies was mythical in nature. Then, I turned 30; the age at which I had always hoped to be happily married and finished having children. Instead, I was in a failing relationship with no chance of a baby in sight. That is when the ticking started. Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock! Then ticking was followed by the following thoughts, “If you don’t get married soon, you will never have a child.” And, “You are going to be old and all of your eggs will dry up, so even if you do get married, no babies for you.” And, “Who wants a woman that is too old to have kids?”
From the time I was a little girl, I dreamed of being married. The mom thing was not really my preference, but if my husband wanted children, then I was willing to have and/or adopt children. It was never a necessity for me when I was younger. Oh, but when the possibility that I might never have the option to give birth to my own children entered the picture, it was no laughing matter. People say to me, “You can have a baby anytime you want. Women are becoming moms all the time all by themselves.” And, that may be fine for other women, but my babies need a full-time father, and that father needs to be my husband. So why, I began to think, won’t God send me a husband, with whom I can have a family?
His reply: Timing is everything. We think of time as finite. But God’s time is infinite. I know that I have allowed myself to get caught up in timetables, some set up by society and some that were concocted in my own mind. My first marriage was the result of an irrational timetable. I was 21 and unmarried, and I thought that if I didn’t get married then, I would be an old maid. Well, I did get married then and I am now, a maid -- not old, but definitely single.
The issue with my logic was that God does not work on timetables. He simply says, “There is a time for everything.” And, God is so awesome in power that your time to love and my time to love may take place at different times. God knows how to keep track of the perfect timing for every blessing in each and every one of our lives. We have to stay patient and let Him work. I have had many accomplishments that have caused people to be impressed, but I am deeply saddened by all of the times I got in the way of God’s timing because I know I missed out on amazing blessings.
Sarah, Abraham’s wife, got impatient and got in the way of God’s timing (Genesis 16). I think she had good intentions; she just had poor execution. I believe she thought she was helping God when she asked Abraham to sleep with Hagar and have the son they were promised; just like I was helping God move things along when I got married so young. The damage from not waiting on God’s timing for His promises can be catastrophic. The sons of Ishmael and Isaac are still warring to this day. And, I am still dealing with some of the consequences of not listening to God about not getting married.
God is love. He wants us to know love and feel loved. He wants us to learn how to love His way because that is the only way we can experience the fullness of love towards one another. In a season of singleness, there is a unique opportunity to focus solely on loving God, and as a result, loving God’s way. In His timing, everything else will fall into place and it will be worth the wait.
Lord, thank You for helping me accept that your timing is perfect.
Please forgive me for trying to “help” when You never asked me to.
Lord, teach me how to love Your way while I wait and when it is my time to love.
In Jesus’ Name
*Scripture quotations are from the New International Version ©1984, unless otherwise indicated.