The Inside Scoop
The Lord confides in those who fear Him; He makes His covenant known to them.
Quote from Pray While You’re Prey:
“Fear of God is the key to His secrets. I do not speak of fear in the sense of being scared, but in the sense of reverence and respect.”
I have made so many mistakes in judgment when it comes to character that one day I said, “Okay, God, I need You to put a force field around me, so that no one who is not good for me can get to me. And then, when the right one comes along, I need You to put a big, bright, neon sign (like “Eat at Joe’s”) over his head. I had lost faith in my ability to make right decisions. That lack of confidence in my relationship decisions spilled over into every other decision in my life. I discovered that this was one insecurity that was actually a good thing.
In the beginning, my disdain for the prospect of making bad decisions was paralyzing. I literally was not willing to make any moves because I feared that I might make the wrong move and end up headed in the wrong direction and knocking myself further off-course. However, eventually, I realized that I had someone better to trust than myself: God. My miscues led me to put all of my trust in Him. And, not just in the major things like jobs, relationships, money; in EVERYTHING.
I fear the Lord. I am not scared of God (although, I am glad to be living in the age of grace--have you read the Old Testament?); I reverence God. I respect God. I have learned that God knows what is best for me and that He has a future plan for me and a right now plan for me that will work out for my good if I will listen to Him and obey His voice.
I have been blessed with several gifts to use for ministering to others, but for a very long time, I struggled with how to properly use God’s gifts and talents. Every time, I have tried to do something my way, it has not turned out well. So, then, I just stopped trying, but that was not the correct answer either. Earlier this year, I felt a nudge to record, but I had no idea what the purpose of my recording would be. I agonized over what to do with the music that I had. I was not sure if I needed to do an entire CD, or just a demo. I didn’t know if I should try to sell my work or give it away. Taking a step forward just brought about so many questions. Admittedly, for a little while, I was discouraged because I felt like God was not showing me what to do.
Then, I read a devotion that encouraged me to spend some quiet time with God; not talking, not singing, not making a sound, just listening. This was very difficult at first because my mind is always racing. I know God knows that, but each day, as I endeavored to respect Him by giving Him quiet time, it became easier and easier to quiet my mind. And soon, His voice began to drown out mine. And, after one month of asking what I should do, it became clear. There are still a few details that I am sure God will give me in the right time, but I know the answer to my main question.
I have to believe that as I continue to show reverence for God, whether in quiet time or by simply being obedient to His leading, He will reveal anything that I need to know to me. That is the beauty of the God we serve. Anything that He is not showing us, He is holding back for a good reason. That gives me hope as I wait for my spouse to come into my life. I am not being obedient to get answers or to get what I want. If that were the case, I would have stopped being obedient when I felt God was saying ‘no’ and ‘wait’ too much. I am being obedient because I respectfully fear the Lord and His greatness. I know that He is stronger and wiser than I will ever comprehend. So, I will wait patiently for His secrets to my life to be revealed.
Thank You, God for loving me enough to not give me
any information that I will misuse.
Please forgive me for not being respectful to You in my actions
and in the way I divide up my time.
Lord, please help me to listen, move when necessary and be still when necessary.
In Jesus’ Name,
*Scripture quotations are from the New International Version ©1984, unless otherwise indicated.