It was almost as if I was having an out-of-body experience. Here I was looking at myself sitting across from someone having a pleasant conversation after four days of imagining that I would tear him apart verbally the first chance I got. Even my friends could not believe what they were witnessing. If this had happened last year, oh wait, something very similar did happen last year. And though I did not resort to tongue lashing, I made it abundantly clear to the person and anyone who was listening that I am not someone you want to cross. I was angry. At one point in that situation, I was angered to tears. And, every time I saw the person who upset one of my boys, I was seething with wrath.
Well, this time, I did not want it to get to that point. So, I prayed. I was still angry. I prayed some more. I was still angry. I was still angry when this guy sat down near me. In my head, I had my speech all ready. But then, the spirit took over. It was definitely a “where I am weak, He is strong” moment because I felt totally powerless as I smiled (genuinely), extended my hand, and introduced myself. One of my friends, who did a double-take as she passed by and observed the interaction, asked me what happened. I said, “I don’t want to be angry anymore; I did that last year.” She told me that is called growth. I said, “Well, if you’re not growing then what is the point?”
I am not proud of my mistakes, but I talk about them to show that as I grow closer to God, He makes me a better person. As I seek more of Him, He makes me more like Him. When you accept Christ as your Savior, you become a new creature. Yes, you are going to Heaven, but if God does not take you there immediately, how will you live on this Earth? Will you keep the status quo? Or will you allow God to help you grow? Though what Christ gave we can never repay; we can still choose to grow and obey. Ms. EV