There are so many types of love. The way I love my fellow man should be agape love, which is unconditional. It is the kind of love that is described in 1 Corinthians 13, a patient, kind, humble love. This is the love that the other types of love are built from. Then, there is philia, the love between family and friends. This is the kind of love that makes you feel loyal to someone. There is also eros, this is love that extends beyond friendship. It is an intimate love, and intense desire that one feels towards another. And then, there is blind love. This kind of love is probably not really love. It is more of an offshoot of lust. It is not necessarily lust for physical contact with someone, but it could just be the lust for being in a relationship.
Blind love is dangerous. When we love someone giving no thought to what type of relationship that person has with Christ, how that person treats us and our loved ones, and the characteristics that he or she display that are clearly not in our best interests, we are setting ourselves up for failure. I have been in that place where I chose blind love and I really felt like I was in love with the person. I saw these people they way I wanted to see them and not for who they really were. You know, there is quote that says, “When someone tells you who they are, believe them!” No, blind love doesn’t believe in that. Blind love believes that one human being can love another human being hard enough to make significant changes that really only God can make. This is the type of love that usually leads to heartbreak and bitterness. Then, it becomes difficult to find a place between blind (and sometimes deaf) love and bitter contempt. When the people you love without abandon hurt you, it is not easy to feel like risking your heart again. As much as love can distort your vision, pain can destroy your vision. And, the distressing result of the contempt end of the spectrum is that it does not always limit itself to the person with whom you attribute the wound. Sometimes, the damage can be so severe that it affects everyone that you have ever loved or trusted. There has to be somewhere in the middle where we are not completely gullible in the face of romance or completely gutted in the face of rejection. Think about how God loves. He loves unconditionally, but there is a difference between unconditional love and blind love. God allows us to make our own choices for which there are consequences. We can be obedient and reap the benefits of being obedient. Or, we can be disobedient and face the results of our actions. God does not turn a blind eye to our faults, nor does He throw them in our faces; He allows us the opportunity to grow in Him. When we turn our backs on Him, He is says, “I’m still here.” He doesn’t walk away, but He doesn’t necessarily give chase or stalk us or hunt us down like we sometimes do to those we claim to love. He says, “I stand at the door and knock.” If we do not answer that is our choice. God does not burst through the door and drag us out kicking and screaming, singing, “And I am tell you…you’re gonna love Me!” He wants us to give a freewill offering of love. That is the difference between unconditional love and blind love. When we enter into a relationship with anyone, they have a place on our love spectrum. We have to ask, “Where is the love?" And, then be honest with the answer. If you are a Christian, you are commanded to love one another, so we should have agape love for everyone, but sometimes that is where it stops. Do not try to force a relationship into philia or eros for the sake of not being lonely. Trying to love someone in a way that is not meant for that relationship can be very damaging not only to the current relationship, but to future relationships. Ms. EV
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