I’m not really sure what God has planned for me, but it must be something really good because the devil is so busy. You see, I know it’s the devil and not God because God tests you. He allows trouble to happen to see if our faith in Him is strong and if we will lean on Him, depend on Him, and allow Him to love us through times of calamity. But, the devil tempts you. The devil tries to get you to fall. The devil attacks the places that you are the most vulnerable and there is no love involved. So, this weekend, I’m sitting at home, minding my own business, drinking hot tea and preparing for church on Sunday when my phone rings. I looked at the caller ID and it was just a number, but it was a number that I recognized (I have a photographic memory, so even if I delete a number form my Contacts, I still know who it is). I looked at the number and thought, “Should I answer this?” and I decided on about the fourth ring that I was finally ready to pick up the phone and be strong in the Lord.
The caller was my ex boyfriend whom I have not heard from in almost a year. We have been broken up for almost four years, but he was a man that I thought I would marry and have a family with, so I have tried to remain friends with him, but we can’t seem to agree on a friendship without benefits. The last time I saw him, he tried to convince me to, how shall I say, be naughty. I refused his advances, but I still felt bad for even putting myself in the situation. And, the last time he called, I missed the call because I was still grieving after my grandmother’s passing and I wasn’t really talking to anyone. So, I called him back when I came out of my depression and told him, as a friend, what was going on, to which he replied, “I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m tired, so I’m going to bed.” And then, I didn’t hear back from him until this past weekend. The conversation was the usual small talk, and then, the request to “visit.” In my mind, I said, “The devil is a liar!” I know what visit means. It took me a minute to learn, but I definitely know what it means when it’s after 10PM. I politely told him that it was not going to happen and I kept a smile on my face as he lied and said he’d call me the next day. The point is that I didn’t give in this time. Next time, I won’t even answer the phone. If I had let him come to my house, it would have been very hard not to let him hold me or kiss me because it has been a long time since I have had affectionate human contact. If I had let him come to my house, I might have “slipped” and knocked God’s plan for my life back a couple more years. I’m tired of doing things my way. I don’t even want to know how many opportunities I have forfeited for fleeting moments of pleasure. So, instead of inviting him over, once I calmed down (because I was mad at him for trying me, but now I understand that the devil will use people close to us), once I calmed down, I invited Jesus in and we talked until I felt asleep and I had peace. I don’t know what God is planning, but I do know what He has done and where He brought me from, and that is more than enough. Ms EV
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