Yesterday, I was walking up the stairs to Sunday school and my knee buckled. I went to reach for the railing and I pulled something in my neck and back. The pain was excruciating! I could not turn my head. I could not breathe too deeply. I was miserable. And, everybody knew it. I barely heard the lesson in Sunday school, but I did pick up a few nuggets of wisdom, like, "We don't face adversity because we did something wrong," and "When you have a problem, you should shake it off and not hold on to it and complain and whine." So, I tried to pull it together because I knew I had to sing. And, I didn't want to affect others' worship experience because I was in pain. Still, as I told my family, I was not born with the ability to hide pain, so everyone knew there was something wrong.
The first song was one that I don't like to sing because I always feel like I am lying when I sing it. It says, "I don't mind waiting on You, Lord." And while I will wait on the Lord to move my life in His direction, in His time and according to His will, I am not sure that I always do so with an, "I don't mind" attitude. It's more of an, "I know that being impatient leads to bad things, so I don't have any choice, but to wait" attitude. The sermon subject was, "Wait on the Lord," so I started to sense that God was speaking to me through the lessons.
The problem was that, even though, I had taken some ibuprofen to try to kill the pain from my earlier incident, it was NOT working. So, throughout the sermon, I was desperately trying to listen, but my pain would not lessen. Eventually, I got frustrated, and instead of writing sermon notes, I began to ask God questions, like, "How long am I going to be waiting?" Waiting for what you ask: for my physical pain to end, for my loneliness to end, for my dreams to start coming true. I wanted to clap and praise with everyone else, but I was so bogged down with physical and emotional pain that all I could do was cry.
Then, I felt guilty because on a scale of one to ten, my problems are a negative twelve, when I look at what others are facing. Why am I such a baby? Why do I have such a low tolerance for pain? Why am I so spoiled? Am I like the children of Israel? Am I making my journey longer than it has to be because I whine? The devil is good, isn't he? That dude had me so distracted and I played right into his hands for a minute. Upon reflection, though, I realized that I have started to make great progress on my music this weekend. And, I still haven't been approached by a guy in a long time, but I am able to use my experiences to help others. My neck still hurts, but it's nothing I cannot handle, and through that injury, I saw how much my family really loves me.
So, I guess this is what the prophet Isaiah meant by "run and not get weary...walk and never faint." I truly felt like I was down for the count yesterday. My issues are teeny-tiny, but when combined and over time, sometimes they seem overwhelming. That's when God steps in with those eagles' wings to help us continue to soar. I am still waiting. I know there will be a grand testimony after this because there are great testimonies all up and through this. To God be the glory! Ms. EV
The first song was one that I don't like to sing because I always feel like I am lying when I sing it. It says, "I don't mind waiting on You, Lord." And while I will wait on the Lord to move my life in His direction, in His time and according to His will, I am not sure that I always do so with an, "I don't mind" attitude. It's more of an, "I know that being impatient leads to bad things, so I don't have any choice, but to wait" attitude. The sermon subject was, "Wait on the Lord," so I started to sense that God was speaking to me through the lessons.
The problem was that, even though, I had taken some ibuprofen to try to kill the pain from my earlier incident, it was NOT working. So, throughout the sermon, I was desperately trying to listen, but my pain would not lessen. Eventually, I got frustrated, and instead of writing sermon notes, I began to ask God questions, like, "How long am I going to be waiting?" Waiting for what you ask: for my physical pain to end, for my loneliness to end, for my dreams to start coming true. I wanted to clap and praise with everyone else, but I was so bogged down with physical and emotional pain that all I could do was cry.
Then, I felt guilty because on a scale of one to ten, my problems are a negative twelve, when I look at what others are facing. Why am I such a baby? Why do I have such a low tolerance for pain? Why am I so spoiled? Am I like the children of Israel? Am I making my journey longer than it has to be because I whine? The devil is good, isn't he? That dude had me so distracted and I played right into his hands for a minute. Upon reflection, though, I realized that I have started to make great progress on my music this weekend. And, I still haven't been approached by a guy in a long time, but I am able to use my experiences to help others. My neck still hurts, but it's nothing I cannot handle, and through that injury, I saw how much my family really loves me.
So, I guess this is what the prophet Isaiah meant by "run and not get weary...walk and never faint." I truly felt like I was down for the count yesterday. My issues are teeny-tiny, but when combined and over time, sometimes they seem overwhelming. That's when God steps in with those eagles' wings to help us continue to soar. I am still waiting. I know there will be a grand testimony after this because there are great testimonies all up and through this. To God be the glory! Ms. EV
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