Then, there are the times when God speaks so clearly to my heart that all I can do is sigh a deeply heartfelt, “Thank You.” As you may have figured out, I am bothered at times by the fact that I am 34 and I do not have a husband (or a boyfriend for that matter) or any children of my own. Like the judgment of Job’s friends, I have experienced people looking at me with the side-eye, likely wondering what I did or what is wrong with me that I am now a “consecrated spinster.” Surely, I must have made some mistake or I must have made God mad at me. I know enough to know that is not the case, and so did Job. I watched a show last night that showed me that having a family might make my aspirations in life difficult, not impossible, but difficult. And, I don’t know that I will have the particular career that these women have (though, it would be nice), but as I saw a mother struggle to say goodbye to her husband and children in pursuit of furthering her career, I felt peace about my situation.
Perhaps, God is has not given you what you desire because He has a plan that you cannot imagine. And, for that plan to work for His Kingdom, He needs you to be where you are. I have separation anxiety just saying goodbye to my parents and my nephews and niece; it would be heart-wrenching to be torn from my own husband and children. I am not ready for that. And, God knows it; now, He has allowed me to know it and it gives me a sense of peace. I still do not know the “what” in particular, but I feel that I got a glimpse at the “why.” Ms. EV