Have you ever heard, "Little Christmas Tree," by the Jackson 5? It is a fabulously depressing song, and I love it! If you are new to this blog, you should be aware that I love really, really sad and depressing music because when I hear it, it makes me feel better about my life. I like the blues, Old Toni Braxton music like, Un-Break My Heart, How Could an Angel Break My Heart, you probably get the gist. So, a couple of winter breaks ago after getting tired of hearing how excited people were about Christmas music (in November), I decided to compile some of my favorite Christmas music; the music to which I could relate. The result is a CD with about twelve or thirteen of the saddest songs you have ever heard and "Little Christmas Tree" is on it.
I first heard this song when I was a little girl because it was on my parents' Motown Christmas album. I didn't really pay attention to the words, I just liked belting out the words, "This is the season of LOVE...But, I'm as sad as I can BEEEEEEEE!!!" Please don't call the men in the white jackets on me. Back then, it was about the moving melody, and as I got older and started experiencing some sad and lonely Christmases after break ups and divorce and more break ups, belting out that haunting melody became therapeutic. The song talks about this little, lonely Christmas tree and it speaks to those of us who go to bed alone at night on Christmas Eve and wake up alone on Christmas morning. And, I realize that's sad (Google the words, it gets worse), but it makes me feel happy because before and after I go to bed alone and wake up alone, I spend time with a fanstastic family. I get to see the joy in my nephews' and niece's eyes when they open presents that I gave them. I get to dine on fantastic food with my family. It's sometimes hard seeing everyone be all lovey-dovey, but at least I'm not that little Christmas tree. I mean, according to Michael, "No one seemed to care, they just walked away and left it standing there!" I, on the other hand, have people who care about me; who won't just walk away and leave me standing there. And, even at the times when they are not with me, in the lonely hours, I have a relationship with the one, true God, who never leaves my side, so I am never alone. And, my friend, you are not alone either. God thought so much of you that the Christ, for whom we celebrate Christmas (though, I think some people forget this part), was sent to save you. He has a plan for you. You may not understand His plan, but it is the best plan. And yes, it might include more lonely Christmases than you ever thought you would have, but guess what, you have made it through everyone of them. Don't wait on Santa to bring you the things you think will fulfill you. Trust that God knows exactly what you need, so you don't always get what you want. Whew, I know I needed that! I don't know about anyone else, but I am grateful that even though I feel like that Little Christmas Tree sometimes, I know that not every Christmas will be that way because God has proved to me that He is so much more loving than that! And, when I do have my own family, with whom to celebrate Christmas, I pray that I do not ever forget to be grateful for God's sacrifice, grace and mercy. I truly believe that what I experience now will lead to even greater experiences ahead. Even when it feels like no one cares, God cares and so do I. Ms. EV
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