I think some of my messages lately may have been slightly miscontrued. Being single during the holidays can, well how shall I put this delicately, suck; however, as a friend of mine tweeted yesterday desperation and settling are not the answer. Just because I don't want to spend Christmas Eve or New Years Eve alone, it doesn't mean that I am going to jump on the first man who shows any interest in me. I still have a list that I refuse to deviate from (If you want to see my list, check out Superficial or Super-Specific) because my God is able and I am not THAT single. (SN: Just because someone fits this list in general it does not mean that he is the one because there has to be attraction, i.e, my list says nothing about age, but I cannot date someone who is closer to my dad's age than mine. I tried; I didn't work. Remember, to each his or her own; we all have our quirks)
I know a couple of my blogs may have mistakenly indicated that I am prime for the picking, but I have been doing this whole holidays alone thing for way too long to just give up and "take what I can get" at this point. I just want other singletons to know that I understand what you are going through and you are not, by any means, alone, especially if you have a relationship with Christ. The last thing you want to do right now is to get into a relationship with someone for the sake of making it through the holidays, even though you know that person is not the person for whom you have been waiting. Sure, it's tempting if you notice that someone new is flirting with you and you know you could probably get whatever you want from that person from now until February 14th, but temptation is how we all ended up in the state we are in today, remember Eve (and Adam). So, resist the urge to call or text your ex and see if you can make things work. He (or she) is your ex for a reason. Do not accept dates with people who you would normally NEVER date because now, all of a sudden, he or she just might be the one. Just remember this mantra...I'm not THAT single! Trust me, you can do this. The first holiday season after my last breakup, I got a cat. I was so focused on that little booger that I couldn't even think of being alone. The next year, I was dealing with the death of two dear friends, so I was just feeling grateful for being alive. The following year, I threw myself into baking and candy-making and my grandmama was in the nursing home, so she was my focus. And, I am glad that I focused on her because by the next holiday season, which was last year, she was no longer with us. It was particularly hard because my grandmama's birthday is on Christmas Day. I never thought I would make it through that day, but it turned out to be one of the best Christmases I have ever had. So, before you answer that text, make that phone call, accept that date, start flirting back, think to yourself, "After I get over the holiday blues, will I still want to be involved with this person?" If your answer is "yes," then go for it, but if your answer is "no," then boldly declare, "I AM NOT THAT SINGLE!" and keep it moving. Maybe you don't have an issue with getting through this time of year, thank God for that, but still trust Him to send you the mate for whom you have been waiting and do not settle for less thinking, "Well, this is probably as good as it's going to get." Remember, God can do exceedingly, abundantly above all you can ask or think. I know for me, that is a tall (and I do mean tall) order, but I am willing to wait on it. Any time that you feel loneliness pressing down on you. Press in to God. When you need to be held, ask Him to hold you and request that He will let you physically feel His arms wrapped around you. I have done it and it works. Do not let people diminish your feelings by telling you that you are never alone because while that it true and God is with you, the Bible never says that you will not feel lonely. Jesus even felt lonely when his family and friends could not understand what He was going through. You will make it; I am a living witness. Some years have been easier than others, but I have always made it through stronger better and wise enough to know that unless, God sends me the one I requested, I am not THAT single. Ms. EV
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