When my marriage began to crumble, which was almost as quickly as it began, I tried to make it work because I was afraid to look like a failure. I stayed and I tried not because I loved him, not because I made a promise before God and a church full of people, but because I was afraid of what other people would say about me. I had somewhat isolated myself from people who cared deeply for me. I had taken my husband’s side on many issues where I knew he was dead wrong to the detriment of some of my relationships, but I thought I was being a good wife. And, I felt that if I was a good enough wife, eventually, he would change and we would change, and it would become a decent marriage. That was not the case.
When I decided that the marriage was over, my ex-brother-in-law told me that I was a sinner and that divorce was a sin for which I could not repent. At the time, I acted as if his words meant nothing to me and I pressed forward with the divorce, and with good reasons, biblically-backed reasons (if you don’t know what that means, look it up in Matthew 5). Even though, I had a way out and I was delivered from one of the worst mistakes of my life, I felt damaged. How could I make being divorced right with God? I went from feeling damaged to acting destructively. No one on the outside world knew because I am a fantastic actress, but I had been broken for so long that I did not think the pieces would ever come back together again, and that is a dangerous place to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Eventually, after having my heart broken on more than one occasion, I realized that God had restored me, but I was still living as though I was a reject. No one who is a child of God is a reject. God helped me realize how much He cares for me. He helped me reclaim my title as a holy princess, the daughter of the Almighty King. Then, I was able to fully engage in life. Yes, there have been ups and downs in my life, but I know my value. No matter what situation arises my value to my Father and myself does not change. I am undamaged.
Many times when we have been suffering or afflicted for a long time with some situation, whether it is health-related, heart-related or wealth-related, we have a tendency to continue to live as though we are damaged, even though we have been delivered. However, once we realize that we are His and His love starts to flow from within us, so that we can accept who He made us to be, and not give any thought to what others may think of our past, our present, or future, we cannot help but shout of His love from whatever platform we may have. I AM NOT DAMAGED! I AM NOT SHATTERED! I AM NOT UNDERVALUED! I AM DELIVERED! I AM REDEEMED! I AM LOVED! Ms. EV