In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days:
Situated IN God’s Learning Experience – Matthew 11:28-30 We often learn lessons and then just want to take off and run with the lessons, which is what I did after Pray While You’re Prey. But not long after, I felt empty again. I submit that I was so focused on fixing other people that I didn’t take the time to find rest for my soul. I was just looking to make some sort of restitution for my past sins, so that God could bless me with the love of my life. Instead, I should have taken the time to rest in Him and be sure that I was ready for a new relationship. Now, I am relearning some of the same lessons, but this time my focus isn’t on finding a new man; it is on sustaining my relationship with Christ and trusting in God’s plan for me. He has me in this place for a reason, which leads to the next definition. Standing still IN Great and Limitless Expectation – Psalm 46:10 One of the hardest things for any human being to do is waiting. Now, if you magnify how hard it is for normal people by about one million, you get how hard it is for me. “Be still and know that I am God…” Sometimes, I read that and think, Has God met me? I mean, He created me, so He knows how hard it is for me to sit still and not try to make things happen. But, here’s the cool thing about God, He gives me the chance to let Him handle it and then, He puts in a situation where I have no choice, but to let Him handle it. I don’t mean that He takes away my free will, but God has a way of making it abundantly clear that if I want things to work out in the best way possible that I have to let Him do His job. And, I have come to learn --usually the hard way --that God always exceeds my expectations when I stop limiting Him to what I want and submit to His will for my life. Ms. EV
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There are days like today when I want to write, but I cannot think of what to say, so I go back to some things that I have not yet shared (hard to believe there are such things, right). In any case, this is a reflection brought about by a devotional from Girlfriends in God back in the very beginning of this year. The subject was about Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know I am God." Here are the questions that readers were given to ponder and my responses. I started responding to questions and at times ended up communicating with directly with God about them. I invite you to answer these questions for yourself. For me, they brought some clarity about where I was in that moment and how to move forward.
How good are you at "be still and know that I am God?" I know that God is God and I know that He controls everything in the Universe. I know that He made the Earth and everything in it. I know that He made Heaven and Earth, land and water, moon sun and stars, beasts on the earth, fowl of the air, fish in the waters, every plant, every molecule, every human being in His image. Maybe the fact that I am made in Your image is why I feel like I need to control everything, which leads to me not being still in situations. You, God, know all and see all, and I have the desire to do the same. Maybe that’s why it’s hard for me to be still and let things just play out. But, that’s not really showing faith. That’s not showing that I know You have your best plans for my life. I have to sit back and let You be You. I have plenty of evidence that I cannot and will not do a better job than You of controlling my life or the way that others think and act. When I think ‘be still,’ I used to think lazy, sit around, take a nap, take a load off, and I am not too shabby at those things. But, when I see ‘cease striving,’ that means something much different. Cease striving means stop trying to figure out what my purpose is and who I am supposed to be. It means stop trying to stockpile accomplishments and impress people. It means to rest in the life that You have given me right now and wait (I do not like that Word and You know it) for the next natural--or rather supernatural--progression. I wake up everyday with this desire to change my life, my world, my job, my home, my friends, so much so, that I don’t enjoy anything around me. And, that is not a testimony to how good You have been to me. And, that is a travesty because You have been more than good to me. You have been so amazing. And, I adore You and I am sorry for taking who You have been to me and what You have done for me for granted because it doesn’t look the way I think it should look. Have you ever felt God say those words to you? I feel that You are saying them to me right now. Stop striving. Stop surviving. Start thriving. Take a step back and enjoy where I am and stop trying to get to the next place. Stop listening to the voice (even if it is my own) that says I am supposed to be something or do something different. Life is not a to-do list, filled by accomplishing one goal after another; it is a journey with one goal, and that is to praise and please You. Being still: Easy? Hard? What do you think stands in the way? It is certainly easy to say and think I will be still while I am sitting in my house, in my pajamas basking in Your Glory. If and when I face the world later on, I do not know if I can stay in this place of peace and calm. As I said, I have a desire to feel ‘in control’ that is in direct conflict with my need to give up control. I mean I know giving up control doesn’t meant wondering mindlessly and aimlessly, but that’s what I did for a while, thinking it is what You wanted me to do. I keep thinking there is some formula, but I’m just going through the motions and waiting for you to change my life instead of being grateful for everyday and every moment of wisdom. I live for attention and acknowledgment, but praise and honor belong to You, not me. I know I cannot thrive without You because it involves facing my own insecurities, other people and Satan (although, I don’t think Satan can hold a candle to what I can do to my own self-image and self-esteem). I need You. I know that You are in my heart and You have been since I accepted You in my life. But, I have been acknowledging You and yet, living like You’re not there for way too long. This reflection actually inspired my song, "Living Like You're Not There." As I prepare to go into another school year, I think at times, I need to go back and reflect on the lessons I have learned so that I can be prepared for what may come. I certainly do not want to go back (see William McDowell, I Won't Go Back), but I will look back to press forward, stop striving and start thriving! Ms. EV It's been quite a week. Don't get me wrong, nothing major has happened, and I am very much grateful and blessed; yet, I find myself at times feeling overwhelmed. I wake up trying to focus on God and His goodness and how I can be a light throughout the day, and then I leave my house and the world attacks. It's not big things, just little jabs hour by hour and day by day. I don't know if this means that God wants me to change my environment or to do something different. So, I have prayed and tried to seek new opportunities, but nothing has materialized. I just don't know what to do.
In times like these, all we can do is heed the words of Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God." Or, as The Message Bible reads, "Stop striving..." and know. We can tire ourselves out struggling and striving to figure God out or we can sit back and watch Him work things out. I know it's easier said than done, but I am praying that I can make it a reality in my life, and if you are struggling, that you can do the same in yours. What do you do when you don't know what to do? Nothing...be still. Ms. EV |
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