Well, since I talked about driving yesterday, I may as well stick with that theme today. There are a lot of lessons to be learned while you are driving. For example, my mom and I were headed out the other day and I was driving. We had to make a left turn out of her neighborhood. This left turn is not an easy turn to make because it seems that traffic is always flowing steadily past the neighborhood, leaving little to no room to get on to the main road. As we approached the exit of the neighborhood, my phone beeped, so when I got to the stop sign, I checked to see who it was and if I needed to return the message while I was safely stopped. The only issue was that when I looked down at my phone, I did not realize that the coast was clear to make that left turn, and, by the time I looked up, there were cars everywhere. My mom looked at me and said, “You missed your opportunity.”
We sat at the stop sign for what seemed to be a very long time, but were probably about five more minutes, waiting until the coast was clear again for a left turn. And, though we reached our destination in plenty of time, my mom’s words were stuck in my head, “You missed your opportunity.” This time, I missed it because I was distracted by my phone. But, because I only live a few minutes away from my parents’ house, there are many times when I am sitting at that intersection, needing to make that left turn, and I miss the chance to make it for another reason, like the fact that I am afraid of making left turns that are not at a light. So, it got me thinking, “How many times do we miss opportunities because we are too preoccupied or too petrified to see our opening?” These missed opportunities can occur in our dreams and goals, our relationships, and in sharing Christ. I once heard my pastor say, “Whatever breaks your focus becomes your master.” We can be on a path to greatness, but if we allow distractions into our lives, they can cause us to miss opportunities. Distractions come in many forms. Our thoughts can be distracting, which is why the Bible tells us to take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). I don’t know about anyone else, but I know that my mind is capable of coming up with all sorts of scenarios that are much worse than anything that would ever really happen. And, when I give in to those thoughts of self-pity, self-doubt, self-centeredness (notice a theme here), it does not take long before I have talked myself out of pursuing a dream or goal. Other people can be distracting. Either we focus on what others are doing and become envious of their successes, rather than being steadfast on the path that God has given us or we become so focused on other people’s issues that we stop pursuing on the dreams God has placed in our hearts. Sometimes, we are too focused on what others are telling us we should do instead of listening to God’s voice alone. The minute we take our eyes off of the end goal because of negative thoughts or negative interactions with people, we miss our opportunity. Fear is another reason we miss our opportunities. Fear is only as powerful as we allow it to be. I have missed plenty of opportunities because of fear. Looking back, as a child of God, fear has no place in my life because it is not something that God intends for His children to have (2 Timothy 1:7). When I was engaged to my ex-husband, my mom, who was and is much wiser than I am, implored me to reconsider my decision. Rather than listen to her and take that opportunity to take control of my destiny, I let fear rule. I feared that if I did not get married then, I would never get married. At that point in my life, being single forever was a fate worse than death and I could not allow that to happen. Though my marriage was short-lived, I stayed married longer than I should have because I feared what others might say or think about me. I let fear win and I missed the chance to go to law school a year earlier, and to have the entire experience as an unmarried person. I am positive that I missed some opportunities to build friendships and fully engage in my learning experience during that time because of a decision based on fear. Are there times when you have realized that you missed your opportunity? I recently had someone with whom I wanted to be in a relationship a long time ago make a comment about missing his chance with me. But, it is not just about relationships. How many times do we miss the chance to use our gifts because we are distracted? How many times do we miss the opportunity to pray for someone or tell someone about Christ because we are afraid of being dubbed a “Jesus freak?” We have to pay closer attention to God’s urging and make that turn when the coast is clear; knowing that He is not going to cause us to turn too quickly and get into an accident. However, when we miss the opportunity, He will let us sit and wait and think about it. The good news is that God is a loving God, and whatever He has for you is for you. So, even though I missed my first opportunity, I eventually made the left turn and reached my destination. In the same way, God will allow us to get to the prize that He has for us, if we will stay focused and fearless. Ms. EV
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I love the fact that my nephews and niece are athletes; I am unapologetically unathletic (that’s not really a word, but it was good alliteration), nevertheless, I love watching sports. There are so many life lessons to be gained from what happens on the field, court, course or track. I was watching the older boys play basketball and one of their teammates was defending a player on the other teams. While the referees in this game were a little whistle-happy, this player was giving his opponent way too much space to operate with the ball. I kept saying, “Go get it. Take the ball!” And then, I said, “You can’t just stand back and wait for it to come to you, GO GET IT!” That’s when the light bulb turned on over my head. I mean, I listen to Mary Mary’s, “Go Get It,” all the time; it is one of my get-hype songs, and in that moment, the message was just louder and clearer. The life you want isn’t just going to come and knock on your door and invite itself in; get up and make it happen.
Many times we sit back and watch the devil play with our lives. Sure, we are defending him, but we are giving him way too much space to operate. We sit back just hoping that he makes a mistake or we catch him off guard and we can get back on track. Or, maybe Satan isn’t toying with you; you are just too scared to make a move. You can’t just wait for something good to happen; in the words of Mariah Carey, “Make it happen!” (Can you tell I love music?) My best friend is so good at this and she really inspires me. While most people make excuses about what they can and cannot do, including me, she sets her mind to a goal, and then she does whatever it takes to achieve that goal. She is not reckless, but she is also not one to sit back and dream while not doing anything. The key to her success at fulfilling dreams is that she listens to God and walks in faith. Another person who inspires me to go and get what God has for me is a student at our high school. He had a promising basketball career ahead of him last year until he was struck by a car while riding to school on a scooter. He was put in a medically induced coma and doctors prepared his family for the worst. When he woke up, the medical professionals did not have high hopes for him, but he did and his family did. They did not wait around for a doctor to heal him. His brother helped him rehabilitate. I have seen this young man go from a hospital bed, to a wheelchair, to a walker, to a cane. Now, he can take steps on his own and his goal is to learn to run again. I have no doubt that he will achieve it. I have many friends who are starting their own businesses and they are successful. It did not happen overnight. They each have their own story, but they are all go-getters. And there is no reason that any child of God cannot be a go-getter. You may ask, “What am I supposed to be doing?” Alright, here goes, I am going to let you in on a little secret…I DON’T KNOW. I have no idea what you should be doing. I just figured out what my dreams are and how to press forward no matter what trusting that God will make a way. What are your passions? What makes you upset? What makes you cry? What do you complain about that needs a solution? Those issues that concern you are the places where God can use you (I got that nugget of wisdom from my pastor). God is powerful and faithful; He is also loving enough that He will not enable us. He will not do for us what we can do for ourselves. This is not a quit your job, rent a Winnebago and see the world blog. Let’s not be ridiculous. Just stop saying why you can’t do something and start thinking of ways that you can. If God wills that it becomes your career, then it will happen. Maybe it is not meant to be your career and is only meant for a certain season of your life. Again, I do not know what God has for you. I do know that we, as Christians, must stop sitting on the sidelines waiting for life to come to us. God wants to use you and me in a mighty way for His glory. The blessings already exist In the words of Mary Mary, “It’s Your TIME!” Actually, it is always “your time,” if you are a child of God. The question you have to ponder is, “Are you doing what God has for you to do with your time?” Ms. EV When I wrote and published Pray While You’re Prey, I thought it would be the key to my success. I figured it would bring me financial freedom, forever-lasting fame, and foster feelings of affection from suitors worldwide. I had a few visions of grandeur; don’t judge me. It was always my intention to keep God first and foremost in my endeavor, but somewhere along the line, I started making decisions and asking God about them afterward, which is very obviously not the right way to go. At the time, however, I did not see that I was leaving God out of the very gift He had bestowed upon me. I felt as if He wanted to use my testimony and the talent He had given to me for writing and public speaking to reach the masses, so that is what I aimed to do.
Because I was caught up in being a commercial success, I never stopped to realize how God used my testimony. I considered what I had done to be a failure. I gave up because the book did not produce my desired results. I did not stop to think or ask if it had produced God’s desired results. People kept asking when I would write another book and what my next project would be, but I did not feel like I could succeed at anything. An unsuccessful marriage, short-lived law career, and not being invited to be in Oprah’s Book Club left me feeling like nothing that I would do would ever matter. Feeling like a failure led to other behaviors for which I am not proud, but thank God that when He has a path for you, He will pick you up and put you back on that path with a better understanding of Who is in control. In an attempt to please other people, I tried to write another book. I followed the same format as the first one. I looked at Scriptures that spoke to me. I wrote an outline. I started writing. I pitched it to publishers and literary agents and got rejection after rejection. I could not understand why God would give me a gift and not let me use it. The truth of the matter is, God gives me plenty of opportunities to use my gifts and talents, but when I do not see their usefulness, I feel like a flop, which is right where the devil wants me. Because the devil knows that my ego is so big that I am unlikely continue on a journey if I am not getting some sort of accolades. But, this is not about me. Have you ever noticed that when you are not doing what God calls you to do you feel miserable? Not only do you feel miserable, but a lot of times, you want everyone around you to be miserable as well? So, I asked, “God, how do you want me to use what you have given me?” He replied, “Just write.” I responded, “But,”--because you know we like to throw those “buts” in there when God gives us an assignment; am I right, Moses--“Lord, nobody wants to read or hear what I have to say. It seems like a waste of time and effort.” He said, “I want to see what you have to say. Does anything else matter?” That was the problem. Everyone else’s opinion mattered more to me than what God desired. When the psalmist wrote, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I thought, “Yes, please. Lord, I love you. So, I’ll take a Christian male about six-foot-six, a writing and singing career, and a mansion with maid service, for the win!” That is so not what that verse means. That verse means that when you get in sync with God, His desires for you become you desires. You start to understand that regardless of the outcomes you see in front of you, there is a greater plan at work; the Master’s Plan. He doesn’t need your help, but He will use it if you are a willing vessel. So, I started writing as I was instructed. I honestly didn’t think that I would have something to say, but nearly every day, there is something on my heart to say. At times, that old, ugly monster of discouragement tries to bring me down by saying, “No one reads what you write, no one listens to your music, and no one cares, so why are you doing this?” My response, “Because my Daddy said so.” And, the Lord knows that I need encouragement, so every once in awhile, He lets me see His gifts to me reach someone that I do not know or did not think was paying attention. But it is not about me getting attention; it is about me giving God glory. It is about letting others know how He has surrounded me with loving people and life-changing experiences. If you know what your gift is, just use it to His glory because nothing else matters. If you do not know what your gift is, just ask God to enlighten you. He wants to use us as vessels for His greater works, but we can only be used when He is the center of our focus. Ms. EV People sometimes think I am a grumpy person. I try not to be, but I know that I can have a very challenging personality. This is in part because I am an introvert and many times I am thinking about the issues in my life, having discourse with God or myself in my head, working through situations constantly. So, as the internal reflection takes place, the external result is that it looks like I am sad, annoyed, worried, or just plain mad. (I have never been able to hide what I am thinking; my face gives me away every time). During that time, I need to work through whatever it is that is going on in my head before I can interact with people fully. Therefore, if someone interrupts my process, they might see behaviors that would incline them to label me as aloof, arrogant, or antisocial. At least, those are the ones people have said to my face.
I am giving this explanation because lately there has been a shift in my focus. Rather than focusing on what I do not have or have not done, I am trying my best, with God’s help, to pursue my dreams. Not the ones that I thought I would do to get everyone’s attention, affection, and acclamation, but the ones that God gave me for His glory. Focusing on writing and singing for the glory of the Lord is taking up so much of my reflective process that I do not have time to focus on the instability of my career or the fact that I do not have the family I envisioned I would have at this point in my life. And, people are noticing a shift in my personality. It is somewhat embarrassing when people are scared because you are smiling. But, like the old song says, “Something on the inside is working on the outside; I feel a change in my life.” Am I perpetually joyful now as I pursue my dreams? Joyful, probably; happy-go-lucky and walking on rainbows, not so much. But, I am learning what the psalmist in Psalm 37 meant when he wrote, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I thought it meant pray, go to church and pay your tithes and you will get what you want. It means become so wrapped up in God that His desires for your life become yours. I still do not have a clue what God wants me to do as a writer and a singer, but, with each open door (and closed door), I am excited about the possibilities. God places dreams in our hearts; we can ignore them and pursue what we think we want or we can live the life He has planned for us. I promise when you do the former, you will always feel like something is missing. You may even project what you feel is missing on to other areas of your life: relationships, career, finances, etc. However, when you keep the dream alive, when you know in your spirit that you are living in God’s Will for your life, the concern, the worry, the emptiness dissipates and contentment sets in and you can ride the waves and go with the flow. Ms. EV So, I took a step out on faith and pursued my dream. I had no idea what the outcome would be. I knew that I had extremely high hopes. I knew what I could envision happening. I knew I wanted someone to recognize my talent. But, in the end, I don’t know if that happened. What I do know that is my life is in God’s hands. I know that for the first time, I went to an audition, gave it my best, and didn’t feel the least bit rejected or disappointed when I didn’t get the outcome for which I had hoped. That was a victory. I also felt so much love and pride from the most special people in my life. That was a victory. I did not cry. If you know me at all, you know that was a victory. Even in the face of what some people would envision to be a failure, I can still see victory.
But, what about the dream, what is next? It is a fantastic feeling to know that I have overcome my hesitancy to try for things because I do not like rejection. It is a wonderful feeling to know that I have so many people that support and believe in me. It was a triumphant feeling to not even be able to conjure up a tear of sadness. Still, I feel like there is unfinished business. So, what do I do? I have made enough mistakes in my life to know that I should not take any action without prayerful consideration. I have also missed enough opportunities in life to know that I should not give up on my dreams or set them on the backburner. I know that my true passions in life are Kingdom-building enterprises. My goals are focused on God’s glory, so at His appointed time, I will be used in a way that is appropriate. All I can do, the best thing I can do, is pray and listen, wait and work. As I pondered the question, “What’s next?” a song by my favorite gospel artist came to mind. What Shall I Do by Tramaine Hawkins: What shall I do? What step should I take? What move should I make? Oh Lord, what shall I do? I’m going to wait for an answer from You, I have nothing to lose. Oh Lord, what shall I do? I know You’ll come through with a blessing for me. Please Lord, set my soul free. Oh Lord, what shall I do? After that song popped into my head, I heard my mom talking about a situation that broke my heart, and immediately, a song began to form. And, there I was pursuing the dream again. Not in such an overt way as the day before, but I was being obedient and listening. The dream is not dead, it is not even delayed; it will come true right on time and be exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could even imagine, so until then, I’m going to wait…For I know He’ll come through. Ms EV I truly believe that God places dreams within each of us, so that we can fulfill His purpose for our lives. What we do with our God-given dreams is up to us. But know, you were created for a purpose. We can turn the dream into ministry and reach to seek the lost. Or, we can devote our time to making the dream profitable. Is it possible to do both? Well, the Bible says that we cannot serve two masters. Still, I have faith that if I submit to God’s Will for my life and use the dreams He has placed in me for the building of His Kingdom and to glorify His Name, I will have riches untold. Those riches may be spiritual, material or both. And, whatever He provides will be enough and more than enough.
I have had several dreams. Some have always been present in my life; some have been present for a season. Some have been used to honor God, but honestly, most times, I got swept up in how the dream to uplift me. I have realized, the hard way, that God’s purpose for my life is for others to see Him through me and to feel His love through my love. All the good deeds and good intentions in the world are worthless if I am not seeking His Kingdom. At times, the dreams placed in our hearts may seem strange or even risky, but God knows what He is doing and He knows who He can use. My dream may not fit your life and yours may not fit mine. What God has for me is for me and what He has for you is for you. Once we know the gift He has given us, we must make the choice to live it out for His glory. We must choose to walk it out daily. You may not be able to see what is coming, but if you could, you might not take the leap of faith. So, trust in Him, lean on Him, let Him direct and guide you into the dream He has placed in your heart. Ms. EV |
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