Well, we’re still here. I guess the Mayan calendar wasn’t right. In any case, I wanted to get back to my Lonely Christmas CD. There is a song that I had to have on the CD that I first heard in the movie, Home Alone, but I am sure that it is older than that. The song is “Nobody Ought to Be Alone on Christmas.”
I have spent every Christmas, except one, with my family. I do not necessarily spend the entire day with them, but at some point, we are all in one location. I didn’t realize how necessary this was until the one Christmas that I was not with them. It was my ex-husband’s and my first Christmas together. Now, you’re probably thinking, “I thought you said you were alone.” There was someone physically present with me that day, but understand that within four months after that Christmas, our minor problems became major. Six months after that Christmas, we separated. Eight months after that Christmas, our divorce was final. So, you aren’t not alone just because you’re with someone (Oh man, that’s some wisdom right there). Anyway, I was so miserable that Christmas that I visited my family a few days later for my dad’s birthday and New Years. I have to say that is the most alone I have ever felt on a Christmas day, including at this point in my life, when I literally spend a part of the day alone. I know how sad it can be, so I want to encourage everyone that if you know someone who is going to be alone next Tuesday that believes in Christmas, give them a call and invite them over. My parents are really good at this. They were in the Navy and different families took care of them when they couldn’t be with their families, so they always adopt some single people or people who don’t have family in town on holidays. I must admit that I did not always understand it. And, of course, I am always hoping they will invite someone over who might be a match for their very single daughter (LOL), but that hasn’t happened yet. Now, as I am truly single again, I understand why they do it because nobody ought to be all alone on Christmas. So, make an effort to help out your single or family-less friends this holiday season, so everyone can focus on the joy of the Savior’s birth and not how lonely they are here on earth. Ms. EV
0 Comments
Usually when I hear something more than once in a day, there is a lesson in it. I read a devotion yesterday about how animals are yoked together, a weaker one with a stronger one, so the stronger one can pull the weaker one along. Then, as my sister and I were reflecting on watching my oldest nephews’ teammates play basketball, we talked about how some of the guys just do not seem to understand teamwork. And last night, when I was on a radio show for NFLFemale, the burning question of the night was about whether individual players should pursue personal records or try to stay healthy for the team’s playoff run. So, all of that led me to really think about working as a team.
I, though not always of my own choice, am somewhat of a loner. I despise group work or group projects because many times I feel like other people get in the way. I like to be in charge, okay let’s just call it what it is, I am bossy. So, in order to not subject too many people to my bossy nature, I prefer to do things on my own. At my job, I am the only person who teaches my subjects, so while everyone else has to work with a team, I am a “unicorn;” the other unicorns and I get together, but work on our own planning and projects. Sometimes I think I have gotten way too comfortable with being by myself because I have to force myself not to opt for solitude and interact with other people. But, there was a time when I needed to be surrounded by people to feel whole, so I am grateful that I have moved away from that. As much as I sometimes think the world would be a better place if there were a bunch of me running around, that is clearly not how God intended for His children to be. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul says, “A body isn’t just a single part blown up into something huge. It’s all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together” (The Message translation). No matter how awesome we believe we are at certain tasks, we were all meant to work together. We are blessed with strengths in some areas, not to brag or boast to others or to show off, but to help those who not as gifted in those areas. Likewise, there are areas in our lives in which we are weak and we need someone else to help us along. Going back to the basketball game, not everyone is talented at ball handling, so usually you have two guards who can handle the ball, one to orchestrate the offense and one to shoot from the outside areas of the court. You have forwards and a center who might not be able to dribble as well as others, but can defend the hoop, rebound or set picks to give the other players more room to operate. But, if one player decides that he is never giving up the ball, it makes the defense’s job really easy. They know they can just pressure that one player and create a turnover. Now, you might get a few plays where it works to have one player take the ball all the way up the court, drive to the hoop and score, but more often than not, players need their teammates to be successful in an entire game. I have to check myself because it is very hard for me to ask for or receive help. I do not like to delegate, and when I do, it is only to those I am pretty confident will do things just like I would. That can cause me to be a lot more stressed out than I have to be in high pressure situations. It might not affect us as much on a few projects, but over a lifetime, it can make this life a lot harder than it has to be. God is so merciful and He did not place us in the world to do life alone. First of all, He gave us Him, in the manner of the Holy Spirit, to lead and to guide us into all truth. We often try to figure things out on our own, but God did not take Jesus and leave us with no answers. If you belong to Him, He is there to answer every question, every moment of every day if you listen. God also surrounds us with people who can do what we cannot do and people who need the skills we possess. Sometimes, we are so focused on being independent (so that we don’t have to share credit) that we forget teamwork makes the dream work. Be a team player. Allow others to share their strengths with you. Share your strengths with others. That is they way that God meant for us to work together and build His Kingdom. Ms. EV Just the other day, I was remarking about how if adults want children to act a certain way, they should model that behavior. The comment came from watching a specific adult. This particular person has made it clear that whining will not be tolerated. This adult has made it clear that if the child or the parent or guardian of the child whines about any policies, that child will not get the same opportunities as others. Now, I am a whiner at times, you know, squeaky wheel gets the oil, and I believe that when you feel that something is not right, you should point it out. Is there a better way than whining about it? Absolutely, but sometimes one gets so frustrated that the legitimate observations he or she is making come off as whining. I truly understand both sides of the issue.
Nevertheless, as I watch this adult in high intensity situations in which this adult is the focus of many, including those who are, at times, admonished for their behavior, I noticed that the behavior exhibited by this adult is the very thing that this individual tells the children not to do. There is yelling, screaming, and whining when this person does not get what this person wants and it is constant. The children see this and I see them acting and reacting in the same way. Why? Because, even though they have been warned and/or punished by this adult, they still like, respect, and look up to this adult. So, whatever behaviors are exhibited, and this adult does have great qualities, like being fun-loving and friendly, but the children emulate all of the behaviors; the good and the bad. There is a great lesson to be learned from this. I do not know about anyone else, but me, so I will speak to my experience. Sometimes, I am so focused on my best qualities that I fail to notice when I exhibit my worst qualities. I expect that those around me will pick up on the best insights that I have to offer, but they will ignore the insults that so easily slide off of my tongue. I expect that the people over whom I have some influence will see me setting, seeking and reaching goals and will be inspired to do the same. I forget that they might also see me seeking validation from all of the wrong places and they may think that nothing they do is fruitful unless someone else cosigns. I want them to see me when I am being generous, but to turn a blind eye when I hold grudges. Everyone has their sphere of influence. We must be careful that we are examples, especially, if we are Christians. I said something last night in front of my niece that should have never entered my mind let alone come out of my mouth. Sure, I laughed because it was funny at the time, but then, this morning, I thought twice about it and realized that I need to be an example of how to be hilarious without being inappropriate or insulting. I am not suggesting that people be fake; be who you are just be mindful of who is watching you and how you may shape that person’s idea of Christ-likeness. If we want the people around us to behave a certain way, we need to give them a proper example. We all have the greatest example of how to act and react in any situation in Christ Jesus. Sometimes we wonder where the children (or even adults) around us get their worst behavioral habit. Well, I am reminded of an old ‘Say No to Drugs’ commercial where a father grills his son about why he is doing drugs. The son responds, “I learned it by watching you!” You might not be lighting up a joint in front of impressionable young people, but your bad habits can be just as contagious. So, be an example; it matters not whether you are dealing with your own relatives or someone else’s, just set a good example. Then, not only will you be cleaning up the junk in your life, but you might just help someone else live a better life as well. Ms. EV So, yesterday, I was recounting the story of how my car would not start and I left off at the part where my best friend had kind of calmed me down and my uncle was on the way to help (If you need a refresher, scroll down to Part I or click over the Ms. Ev's Blog to see the beginning). Anyway, in between the phone call to my uncle and the text from my bestie, the devil went to WORK! It is so funny, but when you are single, EVERY issue seems to always come back to, "and I wouldn't be in this situation if I had a man!" So, I sat in the car and stewed until my uncle called and said he was in the parking lot.
He arrived and went to work to figure out why the car wouldn't start. I had a suspicion that it was the battery, and my mom told me to have him check the water in the battery as well. So, he checked and the water was nearly non-existent. He hooked up the jumper cables and sent me inside to get some water to fill the battery. The water cost about twice as much as I had put in the bucket, so I thought, "Okay, I am going to have to spend some extra to remind me to listen to the urge to give when it comes. Got it. Lesson learned." My uncle put the water in, waited a bit and had me start the car. I turned the key and it started. We tried again and it started again. I was very hopeful, except the car was still hooked to the jumper cables. So, he took the cables off, I said I prayer, I turned the key, and "click"...nothing happened. I tried to hold back tears as my uncle tried to reassure me that it would be okay. I sat in the car trying to figure out what I was going to have to give up to be able to fit a new battery in my budget while we tried to let the jumper cables do their thing. We tried again, but the car wouldn't start; the battery was dead. We went into the store, again, thank God I broke down somewhere where they sell car batteries. We looked for the battery I needed. It came in three types, Value, Zoom and Maxx. I was hoping to find a Value one because it wouldn't damage my budget too much. The only one we could find was the Maxx (the most expensive one). Again, I sucked back tears, as I thought about my earlier disobedience and how I was solely responsible for this. I also lamented over the fact that if I had a husband or a boyfriend, he would have reminded me to put water in the first battery, so it wouldn't die. When, we reached the cash register, I pulled out my debit card reluctantly and before I could swipe it, my uncle picked up the tab, which really made tears come to my eyes, but in a good way. I told him that I could pay for it, I didn't want to, but I had the money, but he replied that he just wanted to see me smile and he as glad to be a blessing and he said, "Now, you can put this in your praise bucket." I thought, "What an awesome uncle and what an awesome bit of wisdom!" He never once made me feel like I was inconveniencing him or bugging him. His demeanor was as if I was doing him a favor. So, I learned a lot. First, I learned that when I do something for someone else, I need to be more gracious about it. Second, I learned that sometimes we are going to feel down, but God can hook us up to friends and family that will get us going just like jumper cables. I also learned, because I clearly heard God speak this to my heart, that God was not going to punish me over not giving up $0.36; He definitely let me know that I had not listened, but I was more blessed than punished. Finally, I learned that we should store our blessings in our praise bucket. That way, when we have a down day (or maybe I'm the only person who isn't happy-go-lucky all the time), we can pull something out of out praise bucket and get to shouting! What's in your bucket? Ms. EV Today is Election Day. And no one is happier than I am. I am hopeful that, after tonight, there will be a winner and we can all go back to living our lives. For the past few weeks and months, I have really been annoyed by the overabundance of political ads, phone calls to my home, snide remarks on my Twitter feed and Facebook timelines, and the constant barrage of instant debates that pop up all because people have differences of opinion. I understand freedom of speech; I am an American government teacher. I just wish that people would exercise their right to free speech to themselves and leave me out of it.
What is really alarming is how passionate some people are about their candidates. I understand passion and I am not saying that there is anything wrong with having convictions. Nonetheless, when I see people who proclaim Christ being more concerned with an election than they are about Christ, it makes me sad. When I see brothers and sisters in Christ turning their backs on the love of Christ to insult people who have differences of opinion with them, it makes me sad. When people assume they know what typer of person I am because of the political party with which I identify or they think they know the political party with which I identify because of who I am, it makes me mad! Imagine if we lived in a world where we were as passionate about Jesus as we are about our favorite politicians and policies. Not to the point of degrading others, but just trying to persuade them of how incredibly awesome Jesus is and how a life lived with Him is like no other! And don't think I am just talking to other people; I even wish I was more passionate in sharing my love for Jesus. No matter what happens tomorrow, I truly understand who is really in control and it is not a Republican or a Democrat. It is not a politician at all. For the past 34 years, there have been different political parties in the White House and on Capitol Hill and yet, my life feels unaffected by anything they do. I believe that it is because I have the King of Kings on my side. I vote because the Bible tells us to be good citizens and because people fought and died for me to vote, but my faith and my trust and my hope and my change rest in Jesus alone. No man can do for me what He has already done! Ms. EV “Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you’re out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong.” Romans 14:22-23 (MSG)
For the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to find a day where I could just take a break and have some “me time.” Now, that might sound strange for someone who spends sixteen to seventeen hours everyday weekday by herself. One would think I have plenty of “me time.” In reality, even though I am physically by myself for two-thirds of the day on most days except Sundays, if I spend any amount of time at work or tending to a church activity, the people and projects that I deal with in that time span get a lot of my attention even when they are not around. So, I decided a couple of weeks ago, that I needed a day for myself because I was starting to feel worn down and just out of touch. Today is that day. My not going to work today would not hinder my students’ progress or my interns progress; it would be a day that a capable substitute could handle, so I took a mental health day. I’m not sure what I am going to do with the rest of my day, but it was clear that as much as I sleep, I am not getting enough rest because my body took three extra hours this morning, despite being interrupted by my cat and my nephew. I knew that if I went much longer without some time to myself that my mind, body and spirit might be impacted, so I am glad that wisdom prevailed and I decided to take a day before I was forced to take one due to some breakdown. There are a lot of other people who are busier than I am. In addition to work, they may go to school, have children to raise, work on a lot of social or church committees, work out, socialize with friends more. And, maybe they never need a day off and good for them. It took me a long time to figure out that I should not try to be like other people or expect them to be like me. The only perfect model for behavior is Jesus Christ. When I read Romans 14, it convicted me. This chapter spoke volumes to me about my relationship with others and my relationship with God. But, the verses from yesterday’s blog and the ones above really stood out to me. We need to “cultivate [or work on our] own relationship with God, but [not] impose it on others.” This does not mean that we ought not share God with others, but that we ought not expect others to have the same relationship with God that we do. Furthermore, we need to focus on our own relationship and be sure that we are not acting inconsistently because we are too focused on others. Like I said, the minute I am around people and projects, my focus shifts to them. I am so concerned with fixing them that I do not give enough attention to what should be fixed about me. What we all really need to do it to ask ourselves, “Is the way I am living consistent with what I believe?” If we believe the Bible, the living Word of God, our lives should line up with the Word. We should not be manipulating the Word to conform to our will, but living out lives to conform to God’s Will. If we discover that we are living a life that is inconsistent with what we believe, then it is wrong. It is very difficult to make that discovery, though, if we are constantly focused on imposing our beliefs on those who we feel are worse than we are. It is hard to make that discovery when we are in the middle of projects that are designed to impose our will on others. Take some “me time” or rather “me and God time.” We need to really look at your lives and ask if it is pleasing to God. And then, here’s the kicker, listen for His answer, not our own self-righteous answers. Sure, there are people who are living deplorable lives. Yes, we should share our faith. Nonetheless, our faith can and should be shown in our walk. We need to be sure that we are living consistently with what we believe before we impose our beliefs on others and cause confusion about the God we love and serve. Ms. EV Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I’m convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it. Romans 14:13-14 (The Message)
Sometimes I hear people say that the Bible is outdated. I have even heard people claim that we need a new version of the Bible that takes into account all of the issues that are facing the world today. This would seem to suggest, however, that God was somehow unaware of what would be happening today when He inspired the writing of the Bible through those whom He chose to express His will through His written Word. I happen to believe that the Bible is living and complete. I also believe that God has been present since the beginning of time and is the author of time and that there is nothing happening today or that will happen in the future that will surprise Him. That being said, sometimes we, as Christians, make it very difficult here on earth for our brothers and sisters. Many of us, including your truly, take it upon ourselves to decide for others what is right and what is wrong. We take principles from the laws before Christ and try to force them on others forgetting that Christ overcame the law. Or, we try to fit people into the mold we envision for the Church, the Body of Christ, rather than allowing God to prune and mold His beloved. The problem is that by doing that, we may push someone away from Christ instead of helping him or her draw nearer to Him. I am not saying that we should tolerate acts that are in direct disobedience to the Word of God. But, we should not sweat the small stuff. I am grateful that there are different denominations and that the love of God can be translated into any language. This allows different people to experience God in the way that best fits their personalities. It is not our job to judge the time that people go to church, or how many times, or for how long. Who are we to say what and when a person should fast? We should not argue over how a song is sung or how a sermon is preached. And, does it really matter if we wear three-piece suits or flip-flops to church? Some Christians spend too much time trying to do God’s work for Him, and in the process of trying to help God, you may just end up hurting the Kingdom. Romans 14 says that we do not need to sweat the small stuff because everything is holy until we, by the way we treat or talk about it, contaminate it. In the New Testament, God showed Peter that it was okay to eat any food that He created, so why do we judge people about what they eat or when. If they are thanking God for the provision of that food, it is holy. Why look cross-eyed at a young person with a tattoo? Especially, if the tattoo is uplifting God, i.e. Scripture, or if it reflects some blessing that God has given them and reminds them to place their lives in His hands. Once again, I am not suggesting that we ignore acts that are blatantly disrespectful and contradictory to God’s Word because His commands are appropriate for the times we live in and the times to come. Nonetheless, even in defending God’s Word and His principle, we must keep the command to love at the forefront of our minds. We must seek God’s wisdom and discernment in what to say and when. I would imagine that each of us, if we thought hard enough, can think of a time that someone in the church made us feel uncomfortable about who we are or how we act. It may have been a comment or even a harsh look and had we not been strong in the Lord, we may have walked away from the Christian life altogether. Think about how it made you feel. Why would you want anyone else to feel that way? Don’t sweat the small stuff with fellow Christians. If they love Christ, respect that and love them as you love yourself. Let’s deal with our own issues rather than projecting them on to others. And, let God be God. Ms. EV If you are in a crowd of people, can any of them tell that you are a Christian? Why or how do they know that you are a child of Christ? I have often heard it said that as Christians, our goal should not be to fit in, but to stand out. I have struggled with this statement for years because I believe that there has to be a balance. I feel that you have to stand out enough that God and everyone else knows that you are not ashamed of the Gospel, but you have to also fit in enough that people are not afraid to hear the Gospel from you.
There are pastors, gospel singers, and many people with great influence who say they are Christians, but refuse to use the name of Jesus Christ or to say that if you do not accept Christ, the consequence is hell. Then, there are fanatics who literally scare the hell out of people through hate and violence. I don't believe that God is pleased with pacifism or vigilantism. Look at Paul. Paul, as Saul, thought he was doing a great work for God when he was persecuting Christians. Then, after one encounter with God, he went from persecutor to persecuted. And, he did not let being threatened and jailed stop him. He had the stand out/fit in balance going so well that the prison guards were getting saved. But, if Paul is not a good enough example that there needs to be a balance, look at Jesus himself. He didn't exactly avoid those people who were shunned by society. He allowed sinners into His presence for the sake of saving their lives. And, on several occasions, he got alone by Himself to pray. If all Christians separate ourselves from everyone who has a lifestyle that we do not agree with, who will be left to teach of Christ? It's not about taking on the lifestyle of that person; it's about being who you are in Christ while you are around him or her, so that Christ's love is felt and stealing away to pray for the person and for yourself, so that the person can know Him and that your walk is not hindered. Once you plant the seed, it's up to God to do the watering. You don't have to sugarcoat the truth, but you don't have to be nasty either. It is a flesh/spirit battle, but when the Holy Spirit influences you, it could be a win for someone else's spirit as well. Ms. EV |
About Ms. EVWhen you have elevated values, it is not about being snobby; it is about living victoriously! Archives
March 2016
Categories
All
Copyright Notice© Toni L. Wortherly and Ms. EV's Blog, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Toni Wortherly and Ms. EV's Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
![]() Ms. EV's Blog by Toni L. Wortherly is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. |