Love Me Like You
© Copyright 2012 Toni L. Wortherly Fill me with Your Awesome Presence Let it fall fresh In my soul I am thirsting For You, Jesus Fill me ‘til I Overflow Basking in Your Glory Yearning for Your Touch Hungry for more of You Please, Lord, fill me up You promised life abundant Satisfied by only You There is nothing, no one greater Who can love me like You do Change me with Your Mighty Power Lord, my soul Each day renew Rain down on me In this hour Cover me with Mercy new Basking in Your Glory Yearning for Your Touch Hungry for more of You Please, Lord, fill me up You promised life abundant Satisfied by only You There is nothing, no one greater Who can love me like You do
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Living Like You’re Not There
© Copyright 2012 Toni L. Wortherly Looking at the world Such a desperate place If they only knew How to seek Your face If they’d only show A little more faith But they’ve been living like You’re not there For too long Looking at the people Who are always lost If they only knew That You paid the cost For them to be free For them You beared it all But they’ve been living like You’re not there For too long Sad to see so many souls Longing for something new When they could be so satisfied If they would only look to You If I could tell them just one thing I’d praise Your Holy name Let them know with Jesus Christ Their lives won’t be the same It’s so easy to say What others do so wrong I can’t believe they don’t know You I’ve known You so long Can’t they see how you’ve changed me? How You made me strong? Or am I living like You’re not there? Am I living like You’re not there How will they know Of Your great love? If I say You’re within me But put myself above them Who am I to look down Who am I to judge When I know You And live like You’re not there at all Sad to know that my soul is always Longing for something new When I could be so satisfied If I would just look to You If I could change something I’d just be still and know You’re God I’d stop living like You’re not there I’d stand back and live in awe In my younger years, boredom was something that rarely existed. This was, of course, back in the day, when children actually played outside with friends. Then, as an adolescent, I found sports and other activities that kept me busy after school. I would get home just in time for dinner, homework and family time. As a college student and law student, I prided myself on being a part of several extracurricular activities and working while maintaining my grades. But, once the school years were over, and the “real world” experience began, I found myself getting bored and I hated it.
Boredom, for me, during those times meant that I was alone with my thoughts. Being an introverted, analytical person, boredom created an opportunity for me to examine every detail of my life, which generally left me disappointed because I was not where I thought I would be. As I have grown closer to Christ, I have learned how to reflect on my present and my past with thankfulness. I have also learned to appreciate boredom. For me, being bored is the opposite of busy. I love busy. Busy means I don’t have time to think about being single or not having the level of success that I desire. Busy is not threatening. It usually brings accolades and attention. It’s my Martha place. But, literally, as I sit here, having finished a huge event, caught up on my work, and feeling pretty satisfied, I have to say that I am thankful for the boredom. I am thankful for the break and the rest. I’m finally getting comfortable in my Mary place; a place of reflection where I can sit at the feet of Jesus. I can listen for the still, small voice because it doesn’t have to compete with all of the other voices (real voices not just the one in my head). I can get strength for the journey and reenergize for my next assignment. In the past, I would spend this time agonizing over exactly what that assignment would be. I would fill the time with searching out clues for how I could get busy again. Now, I have learned that there is a season for busy and season for boredom. Both are a blessing from God. Ms. EV I have been watching the movie, “A Beautiful Mind” with my classes and it has really made me appreciate having a right mind. I hear it all the time in public prayers and praise reports, people thanking God for a right mind, but I think sometimes we take that gift for granted. I think we don’t realize how awesome it is to have a fully functioning brain. My step-grandmother has schizophrenia, and in some interactions with her, it is scary to think how powerful the mind is and how devastating it is when the brain has a miscue. I have had bouts with mild depression, general anxiety disorder, and as I get older, short term memory issues, but nothing as scary as schizophrenia. And, the fact that people have that disease or any mental disorder doesn’t mean that God is any less powerful, but when we see people who suffer from mental illness, it actually shows us how powerful God is. The framework of the mind is so complex that no human being could have created it. Even as I sit here typing, I am thinking about how my brain is simultaneously thinking of what to say while telling my fingers how to move to type the words and helping my eyes to see everything on the screen. It is nothing short of amazing! I don’t know how it works, but I know Who makes it work. And, I am thankful for waking up this morning and every day of my life clothed my right mind. Ms. EV
In this life, there will be trouble…that seemed to be the theme of both Sunday school and the sermon at church yesterday. And while, I was not feeling particularly troubled yesterday or today, I can look back over the past year and see the very kinds of situations to which these lessons were referring. Nearly a year ago, my grandmother lost her battle with cancer and pneumonia and went home to be with the Lord. A few months later, I realized that I had made a mistake in accepting a teaching assignment at my school. At the beginning of the year, I was hit with one thing after the next regarding decreases in our pay and increases in my bills. I found out that despite my prayers for their reconciliation, a couple that I love dearly was going through with a divorce. Oh yeah, and there’s the whole still single and the clock’s ticking thing that is a constant.
So, I thought by now, I would be preparing to move away to a different city, better job, new people and surroundings. Not so much. And, I am okay with that because God is still God. No matter what stress and strife this world throws our way, it doesn’t change the fact that God is sovereign and before the trouble ever started, it had to be allowed by God. Yesterday, Rev. Paige said, “God allows trouble in our lives to show us the impurities that we still have and to pull us closer to Him, not to push us away from Him.” Through one of the greatest tragedies of my life, I learned that God is my sustainer and through my financial hardships, I learned that God is my source. I learned to recognize the uglier side of me that God knew was still there, but that I refused to acknowledge until I was confronted with it. I am a better person because God has allowed me to go through things that mold and mature me. I can’t imagine taking on this world without Him because as He said, “I have overcome the world.” Ms. EV In case you haven't noticed, music is one of my passions. I love to listen to it, write it, and sing it. I especially love music that speaks to the heart. I love music with messages of hope and encouragement. One hymn that rings true every day of my life is, "God Will Take Care of You."
Be not dismayed whatever betide. It's easy to say the words and sing the lyrics that encourage us not to let life's circumstances make us upset, but it's harder to live out those words when we are feeling burdened down and beat up by life. Nonetheless, Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). Part of the abundant life is knowing that no situation is bigger than the God we serve, so as His child I know that I beneath His wings of love [I can] abide. God will take of you through everyday, over all the way. He will take care of you. God is not a sometimes God; He is an always, ever-present, all-powerful God. He can handle anything that this world throws at His children. Sometimes He allows this world to harden their hearts towards us, just like Pharaoh did with the Israelites, so that His power can be seen by all. No matter how difficult a situation may seem, God is not far away and He has not abandoned you. Just trust that He will take care you. Ms. EV God wants us to give Him everything. The big things and the little things. I was experiencing a highly stressful situation today that once again reduced me to tears -- they are involuntary I tell ya. I asked God to get me out of the situation, but He thought it better that I be there, so there I was on the brink of an anxiety attack. Then, after the tears dried, I got myself back on course, but I needed help. I said out loud, "I need to find two guys to help me carry these boxes." I walked in the building five seconds later and two of my nephews' friends came around the corner, offered to help and were polite about it, thanking me for a soda and a water that I gave them in exchange for their help. Then, I needed forks. I went to the prayer warrior who works in the front office and, voila, forks. These are not huge things like a better job, a spouse or better health, but theywere my things and God loves me enough to tackle them, too. Ms. EV
Psalm 103:17
© Copyright Toni L. Wortherly 2004 From everlasting to everlasting Your loving kindness and Your righteousness To us who fear You Give reverence to You Your tender mercies are everlasting Your tender mercies are everlasting From everlasting to everlasting You speak to me and You guide my way When I call on You I know You hear me Your tender mercies are everlasting Your tender mercies are everlasting Holy Father I bless Your Name Your compassion is always the same Your grace is sufficient; Your love is true It is my desire to be more like You My day started with a plan. I had a specific to-do list and an order to everything. Then, in the midst of my frenzied state of accomplishment, I was interrupted by someone that I care a great deal for who needed my immediate assistance. I don’t know if it’s always a good idea, but in those situations, I tend to drop everything I am doing and help if I can. The help I gave today also came with a little chastisement about another event, but it was all in love. It was not met with the expected reaction though, which left me frazzled and in tears. I picked up where I left off on my list and tried to trudge through a few more things, and eventually got a kinda-sorta apology. Fast forward to the end of my day, and while rushing to my next checkpoint, I was greeted with two-dozen roses and a treat. No, it wasn’t from the earlier confrontation, but it was a reminder that sometimes, even when you don’t think that you are doing someone a favor, your help can mean the world to them. I went from tears to roses in a matter of hours. That’s how my God works. Ms. EV
I was reading a study about one of many women in the Bible and in the last paragraph, it said that she was an example of consecrated spinsterhood. Having just come off of a conversation about whether God wanted me all for Himself or would ever send me a husband (he didn’t send the first one; I did that all by myself), that description, “consecrated spinsterhood” struck me. I mean, let’s face it, one of my biggest fears in life has been becoming a spinster--an old, single, childless, spinster. But, this description shed new light on spinsterhood. I don’t know of too many people who think of it as special, set apart, appointed by God. By no means have I “seen the light” and now know this is the life for me. I still want a husband and a family, but if that is not what God wants for me, I know that the desire will fade as I dedicate my life to His purpose. So, if I must be a spinster, let me be a consecrated spinster. Ms. EV
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